(Closed) Is your SO or DH ok with you going away with your friends for a weekend?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

He seems a little codependent. You need to tell him you want time to bond with friends, alone, and ask him directly if he had an issue to talk about it. It’s not your job to adjust to what you think he wants or seems to expect. Have a convo about needs and expectations re friend time.

Post # 3
Member
2570 posts
Sugar bee

You say it isn’t lack of trust but your post screams either lack of trust or extreme co dependency. Does my fiance “let me” do things I want to do?? I don’t think I have ever required permission to do things I want to do.

Post # 4
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
Lara_11:  If I wanted to go on the Vegas trip them I’d go.  I’d explain to him that it is a GIRLS trip and he’s not invited, I’d go and enjoy myself and not feel guilty so long as I could afford it.  

My husband is thrilled for me to go out of town for a weekend & vice versa.  Nice to have the house/TV/Stereo/Dinner menu to yoursekf for a couple days.  

Post # 5
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Does he have some guy friends? Does he bring you along even when it’s really a guys’ event? What was his socializing like before he met you? 

DH and I love spending time together, but we understand when the other wants to hang with their friends on their own. DH did a bachelor camping trip, which was somewhat of a bummer to be away from each other. I understood the appeal of doing it, though, so I was fine with him doing it.

He should let you have your fun without him butting into it. It might help to find out what exactly he’s concerned about with the trip. 

Post # 6
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

I have done two ladies weekends away since I’ve been married. One was to Vegas. My hubby has also done a few trips with his friends.  When my kids were smaller I didn’t go out a lot but now that they’re older, my friends and I go our for ladies nights, regularly. Just dinner and a movie usually but it’s always nice to chat and bond with your friends. I personally think it’s important to spend time apart and not lose your independence in a marriage. 

Post # 7
Member
8683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My husband doesn’t mind if or when I go somewhere with my girl friends and I encourage him to do the same. For me, I couldn’t be with someone who only wants to be around me. I’m very independent and need lots of breathing room. 

Post # 8
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee

He sounds like he is either codependent or lacks trust, both of which make for an unhealthy relationship. You both need time with your own friends. Spending every waking moment with each other isn’t healthy. 

Post # 9
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Lara_11:  Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to spend 100% of your time with one another. My DH hangs out with his friends alone and I hang out with mine alone. Personally, now that I’m married, I probably wouldnt want to go to Vegas with a group of all single girls, but I would go away for a girls weekend elsewhere with my close friends. I’d also have no issue w/ him to going away with his friends. 

If trust isn’t the issue here – why does he have a problem w/it?

Post # 10
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

If it’s an all girls trip, it would be weird if he tagged along.

 

He sounds a little codependent. 

My Fiance and I often take small getaways away with our own groups of friends.  I enjoy it.

Post # 11
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My dh recently went away for a week and I have about 3 or 4 weekend trips away with friends planned. Yes we miss each other but neither of us minds.

Post # 12
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I just came home from a week in Morroco with my best friend, and he’s currently one week in to a two week trip to Canada with his friend. 

It’s not a common occurance but it’s not an issue 🙂 

Post # 13
Member
8981 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
Lara_11:  Yes, we do things without each other, including overnight/weekend trips. If one of us was invited on a trip with a new group of same-sex friends, the other would not invite themself along. That’s weird.

Post # 15
Member
848 posts
Busy bee

Yes we both do things with our friends-

sometimes we all hang out together and we have done couple trips and we have also done girls only trips and boys only trips. It’s normal to have a life outside your partner: tell him you are going and its girls only. He needs to respect your girl time.

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