Post # 1
I’ve been with my SO two years. In those two years, he has gone out only once with friends without bringing me. I moved an hour away from friends and family to move in with him and manage to see my friends and family about once every two weeks, sometimes once a week but I always feel pressured to get back home because he’s waiting for me so my time with my mom or friends is limited. My friends are in relationships or married and their other half doesn’t mind. They have invited me to girls weekend getaways and I feel guilty. I juse got an invite to go to Vegas with a new group I met in our new town, most of them single, and he said he’ll come with me. Lack of trust isn’t the issue. I encourage him to go out with friends and he says he has no interest since he rathers spend his time with me. So then I feel guilty if I try to spend time with friends. What to do?
Post # 2
He seems a little codependent. You need to tell him you want time to bond with friends, alone, and ask him directly if he had an issue to talk about it. It’s not your job to adjust to what you think he wants or seems to expect. Have a convo about needs and expectations re friend time.
Post # 3
You say it isn’t lack of trust but your post screams either lack of trust or extreme co dependency. Does my fiance “let me” do things I want to do?? I don’t think I have ever required permission to do things I want to do.
Post # 4
If I wanted to go on the Vegas trip them I’d go. I’d explain to him that it is a GIRLS trip and he’s not invited, I’d go and enjoy myself and not feel guilty so long as I could afford it.
My husband is thrilled for me to go out of town for a weekend & vice versa. Nice to have the house/TV/Stereo/Dinner menu to yoursekf for a couple days.
Post # 5
Does he have some guy friends? Does he bring you along even when it’s really a guys’ event? What was his socializing like before he met you?
DH and I love spending time together, but we understand when the other wants to hang with their friends on their own. DH did a bachelor camping trip, which was somewhat of a bummer to be away from each other. I understood the appeal of doing it, though, so I was fine with him doing it.
He should let you have your fun without him butting into it. It might help to find out what exactly he’s concerned about with the trip.
Post # 6
I have done two ladies weekends away since I’ve been married. One was to Vegas. My hubby has also done a few trips with his friends. When my kids were smaller I didn’t go out a lot but now that they’re older, my friends and I go our for ladies nights, regularly. Just dinner and a movie usually but it’s always nice to chat and bond with your friends. I personally think it’s important to spend time apart and not lose your independence in a marriage.
Post # 7
My husband doesn’t mind if or when I go somewhere with my girl friends and I encourage him to do the same. For me, I couldn’t be with someone who only wants to be around me. I’m very independent and need lots of breathing room.
Post # 8
He sounds like he is either codependent or lacks trust, both of which make for an unhealthy relationship. You both need time with your own friends. Spending every waking moment with each other isn’t healthy.
Post # 9
Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to spend 100% of your time with one another. My DH hangs out with his friends alone and I hang out with mine alone. Personally, now that I’m married, I probably wouldnt want to go to Vegas with a group of all single girls, but I would go away for a girls weekend elsewhere with my close friends. I’d also have no issue w/ him to going away with his friends.
If trust isn’t the issue here – why does he have a problem w/it?
Post # 10
If it’s an all girls trip, it would be weird if he tagged along.
He sounds a little codependent.
My Fiance and I often take small getaways away with our own groups of friends. I enjoy it.
Post # 11
My dh recently went away for a week and I have about 3 or 4 weekend trips away with friends planned. Yes we miss each other but neither of us minds.
Post # 12
I just came home from a week in Morroco with my best friend, and he’s currently one week in to a two week trip to Canada with his friend.
It’s not a common occurance but it’s not an issue 🙂
Post # 13
Yes, we do things without each other, including overnight/weekend trips. If one of us was invited on a trip with a new group of same-sex friends, the other would not invite themself along. That’s weird.
Post # 14
I say it can’t be lack of trust because I have done nothing for that to be the problem.
He actually has more friends than me and used to go on guy vacations and spend time on the weekends with them before he met me. I encourage him to continue that and he did once only and said it sucked without me. He wouldn’t mind going (he says) but prefers to hang out with me so doesn’to try. I don’t have as many friends as him so I’m happy when I get included or invited and I put effort into Keeping and growing friendships
Post # 15
Yes we both do things with our friends-
sometimes we all hang out together and we have done couple trips and we have also done girls only trips and boys only trips. It’s normal to have a life outside your partner: tell him you are going and its girls only. He needs to respect your girl time.