Post # 1
I always thought “quarter-life crisis” (or mid-life crisis) was used as a phrase for people who just thought getting older sucked. But just recently I’ve been completely anxiety-driven, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the “idea” of getting married means that I’m growing up and getting older. Oh, God, what am I going to be like as a mom? Or how are we ever going to be adult enough to support our own family? What happens when my parents get too old to take care of themselves, and they eventually pass… See? It’s a downward spiral. Not sure if the wedding is “triggering” these thoughts or if I’m just full of crazy anxiety all of a sudden? Anyone else share this issue or am I completely alone on this one?
Post # 3
I still haven’t had thoughts like that. I have a decent grip on our finances and I guess I haven’t really thought about our parents needing help later. I guess we will see if it feels like that later.
Post # 4
That’s the thing – we both have good jobs, healthy parents, a nice house, etc. It’s just being burdened by the “what ifs” which are so irrational. ugh. I just don’t know what to do… :/
Post # 5
@ItaliaBride: I am so glad to see that I am not the only one! I feel like such a huge part of life is going to be over. No more wondering who I am going to marry, no more dreaming about what my wedding will be like. Plus all of the other things you mentioned too!
Its bittersweet in a way!
Post # 6
Well I’m 36, so I may have passed the quarter life moment!
Post # 8
@ItaliaBride: I have totally felt like that, but it may be because I lost my job and the house we thought we were going to buy in the same week. Now I am sitting here in the same tiny apartment with him. His siblings had babies this year and its made him finally stop pushing the baby thing now he’s pushing the opposite.
I don’t regret committing to him and I don’t wonder if there’s anyone else out there or anything but it feels like the solidification of the I feel way too grown up syndrome. I feel more like I am 35 than 25. We both do. I don’t know where the time is going and I don’t think I even really know how to go out and just be young and have fun anymore. I feel old and tired before my time and it’s kind of sad.
At the same time and I really hate to say this as a pretty fiercely independent woman but I am happy to get married and all. I feel more secure and like I have a partner who will always be there for me. I have felt this way for the past year and a half but now it’s just on paper kind of thing. Also getting a dog makes me feel grown up too lol but I am really glad I adopted my doggie last year because while I’ve been unemployed and sad he’s really kept me cheered up.
I’m also having a total career crisis; I don’t want to be doing these jobs anymore where no one wants to pay me or take me seriously but can’t afford to go to grad school. I’m trying to come up with something else that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking the life out of me so I can be happier.
Post # 9
Yes…yes it has. Darling Husband and I have been together a few months shy of six years, living together for a little more than four of them…but getting married sparked certain conversations about the long term that we never really confronted in our day to day lives – such as how we deal with finances. I graduated with my MA recently, so I went from from student life to the working world while we were planning the wedding. The whole process has really made me evaulate where I want us to be and what I want to do (especially before we have children), and it hasn’t always been easy but it has certainly been worth it.
Post # 10
I’m nearly 44, so no.
I never had a ‘quarter life’ crisis…I was too busy recovering from my divorce the year before and in remission from cancer.
Being nearly in my mid forties is far worse. I look back with amazement at the level of drive and hope I had when I was 25. All that seems to have been replaced with fear.
Getting older sucks.
Post # 11
@Baal: . I have a friend about your age who expressed the same concerns but her mother has passed and she has a son in college. She is not married.
Sorry about the cancer, but, wow, congratulations for beating it!
My mom who is almost sixty always says old age sucks but it is also a privilege in your case I guess that is doubly so. I get super anxiety thinking about being older but oh well it’ll happen (if I am lucky) and I’ll have to deal.
Post # 12
I totally feel the same- with us moving to a new state for my job, and him about to go back to school, I feel like the wedding is just another stress on top of what we’re dealing with. and i’m the only one with an income for a long time while he’s in school. and it only makes it worse to look at friends’ facebook pics, etc and think they must have it easier. So what helps me get through it all is thinking about how much I love my guy, and how much fun we’ll have together for the rest of our lives. It’s really important to be responsible like it seems that you are, but also take a breath sometimes! Also I try to continue hanging with friends and doing things that I enjoy. It puts things in perspective.
Post # 13
quarterlife crisis in progress