(Closed) Is/has anyone TTC before getting married/wedding?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fineapplewine:  yep, im trying now. This is marriage #2 for the both of us, and were having an intimate wedding so I dont really care what ppl think. Plus we were pregnant in Feb but I lost the baby/

Post # 4
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes.  I’ll be 14.5 weeks along at the wedding.  We planned the baby before the wedding.  The wedding was less important to me than the baby.  We aren’t getting any younger either. 

Post # 5
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We are getting married this December (so about 6 weeks to go!) and we started TTC about 4 months ago.  Both of us are encore.  However, I am 41 he is 45 and we figured it would take months and months and months.  I am 5 weeks pregnant, so I’ll be about 12 weeks at the wedding, provided everything goes well.  We are holding the hurrah’s due to risk factors, so we may announce at the wedding (although we did tell my daughter, who is 12 already, as my drastic eating changes would have been hard to hide….lol).

As far as would I recommend that to anyone?  I think that’s a personal choice.  There isn’t the stigma of babies born out of wedlock that there used to be.  However, 2014 is an awfully long time…. why the long engagement but rush to TTC?   Babies are SUPER expensive…. even if you breastfeed, which cuts down on the cost tremedously.  But I would think it would be MUCH harder to plan a wedding either pregnant or with a newborn.  Not only from a financial perspective, but just from an energy perspective.

If you actually HAVE the baby before marriage…. Are there legal stuff that has to be done?  I’m not sure how that works.  I probably wouldn’t have started TTC if I thought I wouldn’t be married before the baby was born, but that’s just me.

Post # 6
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Sugaree:  agreed. I dont care about a wedding that’s why were having a private ceremony with just me him and close family

Post # 8
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

We decided to try before we were engaged. We’re both committed to this relationship, and feel committing to raising a child was more important than throwing a party. I’m honestly on the fence; much as I’d like to be married before we have kids, I’ll take pregnancy now rather than put it off and risk not being able to conceive. Age is also a factor, so postponing it could cost us the chance of becoming parents. As for other people, I haven’t really told people. My family know and don’t exactly agree but are understanding. A few are judgmental but I don’t let their view affect me. I’m not some 19 year old in lust with hormones, I’ve put a lot of thought and have weighed all of the pros and cons. And at the end of the day, the only ones who can make that decision is me and my guy.

Post # 9
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

We aren’t even engaged yet, but planning our wedding for 2013 (not sure of the month yet, we keep going back and forth on this) but we’re TTC. We have a fertility issue so we figured there’s no point in wasting time with birth control.

Post # 11
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This thread makes me chuckle because if I had gotten knocked up before we were married, that would NOT have gone over well with DH’s family! My parents wouldn’t have cared – they had me almost 30 years ago and they’re still not married! It was important for Darling Husband to be married before starting a family but I don’t really care at all – if you want to have kids first, or have kids and not get married at all, more power to ya.

Post # 12
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

This is such a great thread, even tho i’m not officially engaged yet me and SO have talked so much about marriage and children and have said that because it’s going to take uss a while to buy our own house and be bale to get married that we would (dependant on when all this happend) probably TTC in the months before we get married so we don’t have to wait too long, we would have kids now if we had our own place and could afford it so I guess it’s good to think of these things in advance.

Good luck too all you ladies :] xx 

Post # 13
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Baby B is due 5 months before the wedding. We were TTC originally when we were getting married in 2014 but moved the wedding forward 12 months and decided to wait until either just before or after the wedding. little did i know we were already pregnant.

Post # 14
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We started TTC before the wedding for financial reasons- I am a grad student and I would have to get pregnant by a month after our wedding in order to get paid maternity leave before my funding runs out. We figured, the odds are not great for getting pregnant on the first try, so it would be silly for us to hedge all our bets on that for after our wedding. Well, turns out we did get pregnant on the first try, and now I will be 9 weeks along at our wedding next Saturday! We are really excited to be parents, so, the sooner the better. Age is a factor for my fiance as well (though I know it isn’t as big a deal for guys). In case it took a while to conceive he wanted to minimize his chances of being an ‘old dad’ by starting TTC ASAP.

I like that nobody will know I am pregnant at my wedding (except maybe my out of town friends, who will clue in when I refuse the shots they try to offer me? haha), and I don’t care that when people ‘do the math’ they will realize I was already most of the way into my first trimester. I didn’t want to wear a maternity dress, and being married before having children was important to me, so starting TTC after the point at which I would still only be first trimester was a great decision for us. Actually, being engaged before becoming pregnant was more important to me than being married before having a child. But we both preferred a short engagement anyway (8 months) so that would be how things would work out regardless. Luckily, I am having virtually no nausea, though the fatigue is making the last-minute wedding tasks a bit trying for me. I would not have gone ahead with TTC if, when I asked my mom about her nausea, she had told me it was brutal. It’s apparently supposed to be very hereditary, and my mom told me that she didn’t get any nausea at all, just some minor food aversions. 

Since you have a child already you probably know your body in terms of first trimester energy level (though I know each pregnancy can be different). Might be worth asking your mom how her pregancies were for morning sickness.  

Post # 15
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We were NTNT a couple of months before our wedding….but I’m 36, an encore wife, and have never had kids.  My family didn’t care b/c of my situation.  

I’ve known several older brides that started TTC (for their first) before their wedding and it took so long that they didn’t get pregnant until after the wedding.  Some were even seeing a fertility doctor before the wedding….I don’t think I could handle all that stress!

 

Post # 16
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

It is important to me to be married befor HAVING a child.But I desperatly want a baby so we will be TTC endish of September and wedding is 9th November.

 

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