- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
I’m not having a mass. Just a liturgy, or whatever the ceremony is between the Catholic and baptised Christian with all the readings.
Anyways, months ago I asked the church/wedding coordinator specifically what the policies were regarding dress. I specifically asked if I needed sleeves, etc. She did not say shoulders needed to be covered. She only said, use your best judgment.
However, I don’t want to offend her/them. It seems this church doesn’t even care if you are a member of this parish or not. (We are) They have a ton of weddings there because it is a pretty church. This church also doesn’t seem so conservative…..as compared to the parish where our marriage class is held.
So I went ahead and got a strapless, but modest A-line dress. It’s so pretty, very princessy. Well, I made sure to pull it up a tiny bit higher, so it didn’t feel low-cut to me. Well, at the last minute, I ordered a lace bolero, just in case there was an issue with the shoulders or just to make me feel more comfortable in the ceremony.
However, my bridesmaids are getting strapless or off the shoulder dresses themselves. I plan on getting them wraps, just in case there is an issue too. However, like I said, there was no rule at the church that shoulders needed to be covered. I just assumed that my bridesmaids would have uncovered shoulders, unless there was an issue or they wanted a wrap.
But then I was on phone with Future Mother-In-Law. Who is very Catholic. Her daughter is my Bridesmaid or Best Man. I told her I would get wraps for the the BMs. Well, then she says to me that of course that’s “proper protocol” to have the shoulders covered in the church, etc.
She didn’t have a Catholic wedding(got married at courthouse) and when she finally did have a ceremony there, it was many many years ago.
How would I go about telling her that these days, in modern times, some catholic churches do not care about the shoulders now? This church doesn’t have a policy about it.
Do you think I should make her happy and cover their shoulders? You see, she doesn’t even realize that most dresses(the formal ones) are strapless these days. I don’t want to offend her, but I think it’s fine that I have MY shoulders covered and it shouldn’t matter about the BMs. I have seen videos of Catholic weddings on youtube and their shoulders weren’t covered.