(Closed) Issue about covered/uncovered shoulders with FMIL

posted 10 years ago in Catholic
Post # 17
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I had a full Catholic mass and wore a strapless dress and a few of my bridesmaids had strapless dresses.  I made sure to find out all of the dress code rules from our parish secretary, priest and deacon before and they all said strapless was not an issue.  I agree that I wouldn’t wear a strapless dress to regular Sunday mass but I feel that in many parishes, weddings are a different circumstance.  I would just have your Fi tell his mother that you’ve specifically asked the church and they said it was ok.

Post # 18
11 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was married in a relatively conservative part of the country with a full Mass. Both my side and my husband’s are Catholic. I wore a well fitted (in other words, I never had to “yank” it up and there was no cleavage) strapless dress and it was not even an issue.  There was really nothing offensive about it.  You will look great!  

Post # 19
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I feel like this could go either way: I’ve been to tons of Catholic weddings where the bride and/or bridesmaids had uncovered shoulders and strapless dresses.  No one seemed the least bit scandalized.  That said, I’m in the “I wouldn’t wear strapless to Sunday Mass, why would I wear it to my wedding?” camp myself.  I don’t think bare shoulders are inappropriate per se, but if they’re going to cause discomfort (either for modesty reasons or family friction) I would just have everybody cover up for the church part.

Post # 20
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Every Catholic wedding I have every attended had a bride with a strapless gown. I agree you should check with the parish secretary and go from there.

Post # 21
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If the church doesn’t have a problem with it, then neither should your Future Mother-In-Law.  I don’t understand why people are acting like it’s disrespectful to have bare shoulders, when the church says its fine.

Post # 22
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This has never been an issue for any Catholic wedding I’ve ever been too.  I’d explain to her as best you can that the rules have changed – maybe show her some blog posts or the dresses you’ve chosen.  Give her the contact number for the church coordinator you spoke with and let her know it’ll be fine and that she can cover her shoulders if she wishes.

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