Post # 1
We have a bit of a dilemma, we are splitting the cost 3 ways leith our parents for our wedding. My parents side of the family is small compaired to my fiance’s side So my parents want to invite a few friends to equal the numbers.
however now my mother in law wants to invite extended family and some of her friends, making that side of the guest list twice the size of our friends and my parents friends.
i’m not sure how to handle it as I don’t feel I can say no to her immediate family (she has 4 brothers who are all married) but then if we are obviously inviting friends and my parents are also inviting friends, how do I say she can’t bring her friends?
we are trying to keep our list below 70, her guest list that she has suggested is 33. Cost wise going 3 ways if she’s going to have almost half the guests makes no sense.
i’m useless at being diplomatic and my fiancé isn’t good at confronting his parenHelp any suggestions would be most appreciate!
Post # 3
Gah! This is so difficult, but your fiance really needs to be the one to talk to his mom and let her know that she needs to cut her list down by at least a handful of people. You are all allotted a third of the guest list, and she’s surpassed hers.
How many guests are you hoping will actually attend? You can get away with inviting a bit over your desired total amount because you’ll have some who can’t attend, but I wouldn’t go too far above.
Also, are there any +1s or children or distant relatives on her list that she could cut without ruffling too many feathers?
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
If she’s willing to pay for all those extra people, I’d let her. But otherwise just tell her that your budget is limiting her to X number of suggested invites.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
@Kiwihez: We went through that problem too. My in-laws were willing to pay for extra guests, so we just let them invite some of their friends, they were happy, and it really didn’t impact our wedding at all (we didn’t have any space limitations at our venue, since it was an outdoor wedding). If your only concern is money, and your Mother-In-Law is okay with paying for her extra guests, then I would just let her invite them and pay for them, and move on. It’s such a tough thing to fight over 🙁 Good luck!
Post # 6
Maybe you could say we want 70 people total we have invited 50. then split the difference btwn the parents? good luck!