(Closed) Issue with guest list, mother in law wants to invite lots!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
16191 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Gah! This is so difficult, but your fiance really needs to be the one to talk to his mom and let her know that she needs to cut her list down by at least a handful of people. You are all allotted a third of the guest list, and she’s surpassed hers.

How many guests are you hoping will actually attend? You can get away with inviting a bit over your desired total amount because you’ll have some who can’t attend, but I wouldn’t go too far above.

Also, are there any +1s or children or distant relatives on her list that she could cut without ruffling too many feathers?

Post # 4
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

If she’s willing to pay for all those extra people, I’d let her.  But otherwise just tell her that your budget is limiting her to X number of suggested invites.

Post # 5
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@Kiwihez:  We went through that problem too. My in-laws were willing to pay for extra guests, so we just let them invite some of their friends, they were happy, and it really didn’t impact our wedding at all (we didn’t have any space limitations at our venue, since it was an outdoor wedding). If your only concern is money, and your Mother-In-Law is okay with paying for her extra guests, then I would just let her invite them and pay for them, and move on. It’s such a tough thing to fight over 🙁 Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Maybe you could say we want 70 people total we have invited 50. then split the difference btwn the parents? good luck!

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