(Closed) Issue with husband's BIL, advice? (long, vent)

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Twyla_Smith:  uhhh sounds like your BIL needs to learn some manners.  He drove on your lawn and sawed through the lock!? To me, that crosses all sorts of boundaries.  He seems totally immature and inconsiderate. I am sorry you’re dealing with this – because I know I wouldn’t stand for it for another second!!!

I think a certified letter is a bit much.  I would try once more to sit down with your husband and really explain to him how this makes you feel, and how disrespectful your BIL is being.  Yes, the stuff isn’t hurting anyone when it’s just sitting there, but your BIL is with his childish behavior (I think driving across a lawn and sawing off a lock is certainly childish).  Then talk to your BIL together.  If he doesn’t get it, tell him you’ll have his things removed by a certain date and he can choose to get them or not.  Ugh I hope this works out!!!

Post # 4
2821 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Twyla_Smith:  I don’t blame you for feeling unhappy about this! BIL is not respecting reasonable boundaries. But I’d be careful when talking to your DH about it, and focus on how the situations have made YOU feel. Stress that you know DH wants you to feel safe and comfortable in your own home and yard, and that it’s important to you that this not continue because it bothers you. Do NOT call BIL any names, and make sure you don’t focus on his behavior. Stick to “I” statements – I hate not knowing when someone might drop by, I hate feeling like our stuff isn’t safe because someone might come and saw through the lock, I hate worrying that our stuff might accidentally disappear, that kind of thing.

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