Post # 16
Are there other instances of him neglecting you? How was he before the divorce? Not everyone is super close with their dads, but they still respect their dads. If he’s been a good dad to you otherwise, I’d have him walk you down the aisle. If this instance is part of a long history of bad experiences, I would be more inclined to not have him take that role.
Post # 17
OP, here’s how I know this issue IS about the money for you: If it weren’t, you would have left this absurd garbage about the money out of your post, and simply asked, “I’m not close to my father and haven’t ever felt like a priority to him so I don’t want him to walk me, but I’m afraid his family will be mad. What should I do?”
Also I might note, putting aside the fact that it is nobody else’s responsibility to pay for your wedding even if you are close to them, that you have some balls emphasizing how you’re not at all close with your dad but going to him with your hands out anyway.
Post # 18
anon4605: could he have handled the situation better and not said he’d give you money and then fail to do so? Sure. But you shouldn’t have asked to begin with. It’s one thing if someone offers – it’s quite another thing for you to request money, and hen get upset when it doesn’t materialize (regardless of what he said). And now to punish him as a result? You sound rather entitled.
Post # 19
I guess the best way to put it is that my father and I have a civilized relationship, not a loving one. My mother is an absolute saint and my parents split up because my dad decided to bring another woman into my family home while my mom was at work. So, I had a bad taste in my mouth about having him walk me down the aisle to begin with. This whole thing about the money for the wedding was the last straw.
Also, where I come from, it’s not out of the ordinary to have parents help pay for the wedding. It’s not like I was demanding thousands of dollars to fund an extravagant wedding. I asked if he was planning contributing at all as I was working on a budget. (I don’t think that’s strange at all, but others seem to feel differently. To each their own.)
Post # 20
anon4605: What do you want re:aisle ignoring all the money stuff that has happened. Pretend your wedding was paid for by a sweestakes– would you have him walk you down the aisle? What feels right to you consiering your relationship with him, your relationship to traditions, and your vision of your day? Figure that out and go with that.