(Closed) Issues with husband staying out later than he says

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

This doesn’t fly with me, but I get even. My husband did this to me a couple of times and I turned the tables on him pretty good. He couldn’t understand why I got so upset and worried when he went Mia. He’d also do that annoying af shit of ‘leaving soon’ then not come home for hours. Rude af. One night 10pm turned into 3am and he came home drunk as hell. No. 

I had a work function that started late in the afternoon and it was meant to be a dinner and drink then go home. Like 8pm finish time is what I told him. A few of my colleagues decided to go bar hopping and I joined in, did not text him. Then we all ended up at a colleagues house playing beer pong etc. Did not contact husband. Ignored my phone. 

I went home just before midnight. I had maybe 50 missed calls. Even from my mom because DH had phoned her saying I’m missing!! 😂😂😂

My husband was freaking out. Once home, I very coldy said ‘why are you so worried, you of all people should know that when you’re out having fun you sometimes forget to contact me’. This is the same. 

I know the penny dropped then. He’s never done it again cos he realised the stress this can cause. And I got a great night out in the process lol

 

Post # 47
Member
10220 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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wolfeyes :  

There’s a certain stand alone lunacy to his “acceptable” excuse.  He was ‘out drinking with a co-worker’. Oh.  Ok.  As long as that’s all it was.  

 

Post # 49
Member
10220 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
tiffanybruiser :  

ITA.  He’s walking like a duck at this point.

And it’s very concerning that he would be drinking right before work. 

Post # 50
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

Alcohol?

Drugs?

Orrrr another woman?

He’s hiding something.

Post # 51
Member
37 posts
Newbee

I’m shocked that the first page was full of responses that the OP was possibly overreacting. I’ve seen people’s spouses get chewed out for less on here. This kind of behavior is unacceptable. For a teenage couple maybe this isn’t a big deal. For a serious relationship/marriage, it’s a red flag. There’s no reason for him to not answer his phone or to lie about timelines/whereabouts. Shady shady shady. He is either cheating or battling alcoholism or both. 

Post # 52
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
tillymac :  HAH I LOVE this! Sometimes thats what it takes to get your point across

Post # 54
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee

That 💩 Wouldn’t fly around here! I’d be like…are you cheating or something? And I can’t stand lies. If you say you’ll be home, then be home. Have some integrity. I’d be packing my bags, maybe not forever but certainly until he can get it together and be a husband who’s there when he says he will be. He’s married now. Partying days are over, dude. It would be different if he was home when he said he would be. But he’s not.

Post # 55
Member
951 posts
Busy bee

Wow, I am SHOCKED at how many responses were people saying their husband does this too. Wow wow wow. Call me old-fashioned but I find this behavior completely unacceptable! My SO and I have never ever doen this to each other! What could you or your spouse possibly be out at all hours of the morning? And randomly without letting you know where they are or what they are doing? If my SO was suppose to be home at 10pm and didn’t come home in the early hours, even if he did say “one more hour,” I’d be on the phone with his entire family at 3am telling them he is missing and sending a search party out for him! It is so so so rude and inconsiderate to do that to someone, least of all your spouse. 

Your single years are for staying out all night (and even then, at least someone should know that you’ll be gone all night and not pull a disappearing act!). There’s a reason they call getting married “settling down.” Of course some marriages are more open and okay with this type of behavior, but most are not, and OP sounds like she most certainly is not okay with this. A couple should be home in bed every night, and if they decide to be out late, there is not reason not to be out late together. 

Post # 60
Member
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
anonagain :  Agree 100%. 

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