(Closed) issues with MOH

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Yuck, this sounds super convoluted. Have you point blank asked her why she hasn’t picked up her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress yet? Was the dress already paid for or does she not have the funds to pay for it yet? I would say, go to the wedding dress appointment and make sure the lady brings her dress out and says, “I recognized your name, we’ve been holding this for you!” That way, you don’t play bad cop and she gets the dang dress! If you have other BMs (including the Matron of Honor) that are more involved and helpful, rely on them and don’t get dragged down into drama with this particular friend…easier said than done, I’m sure.

Post # 4
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Even if you don’t think she and her gf have legitimately decided to get married, she may be full of wedding planning fever, which could affect the way in which she deals with you and your wedding.  I would talk to her, and say something like, “I am soo excited for you guys to get married!  When were you thinking of setting a date??”  Let her talk about it for a bit, and then swing the conversation back to your own wedding.  “I am so excited that we’re both getting married!!  Did you get your dress yet, by the way?”  

Post # 6
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i said i would be in the wedding if and when it happens

I totally get your frustration, but if my best friend said to me  I would be really hurt and upset. Sure, it might not happen, but really, it’s pretty harsh to say that to her when she just got engaged! If you want her to be happy and excited about your wedding, the best way may be to act ythat way about hers.

As for the dress thing, can you go pick it up for her? I know that’s not ideal, but it might just be the easiest thing at this point…

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand we all want our weddings to be the best they can be, but perhaps you’re being a little hasty judging this person.  Bridesmaids do not need to help us with projects for the wedding – that’s our fiances’ job.  The only real problem here I see is the dress.  She will pick it up eventually if she wishes to remain in the wedding (if she never picks it up she has removed herself).

Ditto sara_tiara, I hope your comments about her relationship were venting your frustration to internet strangers rather than said to her face.  We cannot judge the seriousness of others’ relationships, many people get engaged after dating a short time.  You do not need to help her plan her wedding, if she asks you may always say you are too busy.

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