It seems like there are two separate issues:
1) your wife’s business is a little bit of a mess. From your posts, I can’t tell if the business is actually losing money or if you guys are just spending more than you make.
2) you don’t have personal budgets.
You guys need to sit down with your wife’s books and figure out how the business is actually doing. What are the expenses of the salon and what’s the income? Which is bigger? Figure out a salary for your wife. Being the owner doesn’t mean you just take all the cashflow out of the business and use it for personal expenses. Pay yourself a salary, and don’t spend more than that. You may find the salary you are making isn’t worth the time. If that’s the case- either find a way to make more money or sell the business and get another job. MOST businesses lose money the first few years. You have to be financially stable to keep a business going at first.
Once you know what your actual incomes are, set a budget. Deduct rent, utilities, food, insurance, etc. See what you can cut down on. Get rid of cable, drop your cell phone plan, sell one car, etc. Buy less expensive brands, cook everything at home and buy in bulk. Cut out anything that is not necessary. Going out to dinner, alcohol, new clothes, random knick knacks, junk food snacks, etc. If it’s not keeping a roof over your head, keeping you healthy (food, insurance), general self care, etc- stop spending money on it.
Make a budget for savings. Even if it’s only $20 a week, put it aside into a savings account each month and don’t touch unless of emergencies.
Make another budget for things like gifts, date nights, special treats, etc. Even if you are only putting in $5 a week, it will add up. This should be a smaller budget, but I always like to keep a special budget for ‘fun things’. If I ever go over budget, I take from this budget before touching my savings account.