- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
My Mom and I have always had a odd relationship she was always more of a friend then a Mom. Summer of 2003 there was a huge fight and we ended up not talking for a year, she called me one day at the request of my siblings and we started to talk again. Since then it has been really rocky a few months go by and we are ok then she gets mad at something I do and stops talking to me for a few months…really annoying. Anyways 2006 I started to date my Fiance and from the first date I knew it was differnt, after about a month I was pretty much moved in with him. She seemed to like him but he said she didn’t, when I asked her she of course said he liked him but would never come over to our place I would always have to meet her. Whenever my sister or bother does something she doesn’t like she takes it our on me, finally got tired of it and told her off which fixed things for about 4 months then on Christmas 2010 my Fiance proposed to me. I was super excited and was looking forward to telling her once I got to her house, I told my sister and she was so happy but when we told my Mom her reaction was “oh….is it real?”….really?? WTH? (My Fiance had to work so he was not at my Mom’s and she was mad I showed up at 7pm instead of 4pm but that couldn’t be helped bc my Fiance car was in the shop which she knew) I pulled her aside and wanting to talk to her in privet about her reaction, which she then infomed me that she wish I would have waited to say yes…we have been together four years at this point and living together. When I asked her why said said she said she didn’t approve of him, we got in to a fight bc she was talking down about him and I stood up for him. It has been a year and two months and we still are not talking much. and she told my sister she is not coming to the wedding and for me not to send her an invite. (More on that in a bit)My fear is she is going to tell my whole family a lie and talk them in to not coming, i told my Aunts and Uncle what happened and they support me. I just want to fix the issues with my Mom before we get married but she doesn’t want to…it’s annoying but I have come to terms with it.
The other day she came into my work and like the past couple of times she just walked straight past me and ignored me, I grew tired of it so when she was leaving I followed her out and told her we needed to talk bc I was done with the drama. I again apologized for the way I worded things and told her how much I wanted her to be there, she said she wasn’t going to come but she is happy for me. I just broke down, and told her it sucked that she couldn’t even be there or even wanted to try and fix things. She said her life is fine even if that means I am not in it, she wants me to be happy but she wont go to counsling to fix our messed up relationship. We talked for a few more mins and she hugged me and told me she would be there and we could get together to have lunch to talk about everything, but she will not go to cousling I agreed to that bc I thought finally some closer….
This week I was talking to my sister (MOH) and asked her if she thought Mom would be uncomfterable at the wedding bc my Dad is going to be there. My sister told me my Mom is still talking behind my back and said she only agreed to come to the wedding bc I was upset….so now I am thinking eff it. I’m tired of doing everyting in my power to get her to be proud of me, nothing i do and I mean nothing i do is good enough. I have my own house, car and have not needed to rely on anyone since I was 19. I have called her twice and she sends it to vm, I think I maybe numb to it all but I really just don’t give a crap anymore. My Fiance family is amazing and have been nothing but supportive of us.
Has anyone else been through something like this and does it get better?