(Closed) Issues with my mother traveling to my wedding.

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Can her therapist prescribe her some sort of tranquilizer for the trip have her come a couple of days earlier so she can get used to being in a new place and hopefully ease her anxiety.

Post # 4
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Would getting a hotel and just driving three hours each day help her? It kind of sounds like her therapist is enabling her…

I don’t really have a lot of advice, but I can’t imagine my mom not being able to make it :(, and I’m sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 5
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh no… that is a very difficult situation =( Is there anyone that can help escort her there that would make her more comfortable?

Post # 9
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Can she visit you before the wedding?  Perhaps if she makes the trip beforehand on her own schedule it might make it bearable. 

Other suggestions: traveling at night or having someone else drive her or exploring other forms of transportation.  You could also ask her to try the medication or even other anxiety reducing treatments (yoga, therapeutic breathing, etc) because you are upset and don’t think that a webcam is an acceptable substitute to sharing the day with her.


Post # 10
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it’s odd that a therapist would suggest a webcam instead of going. A therapist is supposed to help someone get over their problems, not find ways to let them keep avoiding them!

Like PPs suggested, maybe she could practice some relaxation techniques for while she’s traveling? Would it be better if she took a plane (a 6 hour car drives turns into a 1 hour plane trip, might be easier on her?), maybe a train instead (much more comfortable and also a bit faster)? Is there anyone who she trusts she could travel with to make her feel safer? Maybe you could even travel with her?

ETA: While I do have a lot of sympathy for your mother and I am sorry for all she’s been through… I think she’s letting this mess up even more of her life. Does she really want to miss seeing her child get married because she’s afraid of a car trip? No medication is going to help her? How does she know that? What about other techniques, doing the trip in intervals or traveling a different way? It just seems to me like she won’t even try, like she’s letting this defeat her. I can understand how hard it is for her to deal with this, but I also know personally how disorders like this can take a lot of what you care most about away from you. She should not let this stop her from living life, and I think she needs to find a new therapist that will actually help her.

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