(Closed) Issues with uninvited guests

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

First, it’s mean and ridiculous that your Future Mother-In-Law won’t call her own guests.  If she’s really firm on this an won’t call then I think you have to bite the bullet and have your Fiance call them. Tell them that you only planned for X number of guests and cannot accommodate the additional people.

Do not mention the expense (because that usually prompts the rude to offer to pay), simply say that your venue can only hold so many people and there isn’t enough space for the additional people.

Post # 4
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

it is not at all fair.  Future Mother-In-Law may be too embarrased or at a loss for appropriate language to call her friends and curtail the additional invites.  Have your Fiance speak with her and explain again that you want to be fair to all your guests and have already had to speak to your cousins (family) about additional guests.  It would be terrifically rude, and reflect poorly on you as hosts, if others brought extra guests.  It may help to share the language you used with your cousins to give her some ideas on what to say.  If she is still resistant, tell her that either she can call or you/FI will.  That may spur her to call, or at least clear the way for you to do so.   Since you two don’t really know them, it may be a bit strange, but you don’t have the existing relationship to get in the way.  🙂

 

 

Post # 5
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Hey, since you don’t even know these people, you’re sort of at an advantage – you don’t really have to feel bad about telling them they can’t bring their extras.  I agree that if Future Mother-In-Law won’t call, Fiance is the second-in-line (his job to handle his family and their issues).  I think that since you already, asked Future Mother-In-Law to call, you’re good to handle it yourself.  If you think there is any way she might step up, go ahead and let her know that you and Fiance will be calling them, since she’s not able.  Otherwise, dial away!

Hey, you know, since you really don’t know them, they don’t know your voices on the phone.  You could pretend to be someone else – the wedding coordinator, for instance.  Just a thought…

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