(Closed) It all feels unfair! Need to vent

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

*HUGS*  My Fiance and I were in sort of the same situation in 2008.  We had met playing WoW online, he was from NJ, I was in southern CA.  He moved out there without a job to be with me.  Then the economy tanked.  He couldn’t find a job (he’s in IT), but we decided the only way to make it work was for him to move in with me.  We stayed out there for a year and ended up moving back to the east coast. 

Even though the experience was hard on us, it made us realize that we could survive the worst of times together.  We have been in Charlotte, NC for about 3 years, and just bought our first house this summer.  If you know you’re with the right person in your heart, everything else will just work itself out.

Post # 4
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yuck. Fiance and I are in a (kind of) similar situation. We technically live in the same city (Edmonton), but his job requires him to be in a different city (Kelowna) for over half the year, and the rest of the year he works from home in Edmonton. We got to a point where both of us knew we didn’t have another 6 months apart left in us and so it meant we were going to have to move to Kelowna (where we could be together all year-round). I’m still in school until May, which is when the field season starts, so we decided to get married right before we would have to move to Kelowna. I didn’t want to move to a different city without some kind of guarantee, and since the timlines worked out we just decided to move in together when we get married and move. Now I’m down to the last 2 weeks of long distance we are ever going to have to do (hopefully)!

I guess the question for you really has to come down to: is it better to live on different sides of the country for another year or to live with his parents? It’s still not too late to change your mind if that’s not what you want.

Post # 5
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

  I’m sorry you are upset. This is all a problem of perspective here, and I get where you are coming from but this attitude isn’t going to help anything.  You are right, it’s not fair, but a lot of people have gone above and beyond solely for your benefit, it’s time to start counting your blessings.  If you start looking at this move as an adventure, your new room as a blank canvas and the new town as a veritable oyster of opportunity, things will start looking better in no time.  It’s hard to leave our possessions behind, but the departure of those leaves room for new ones!  Maybe make a plan to create the kind of room you always wanted!  Even a bed canopy and some Christmas lights could turn blah into brilliant!  

Once your settled, strike out and find a good spa, a great sandwich joint and a good bakery, the things any girl needs to survive and start finding out what you love about this new place!  

Don’t be afraid to take the time and space you need, be grateful and keep your head up!  It’s going to be great!

Post # 7
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

So I  have some practical advice for you if you want it.  While I was in the service I’d go all over the place for months at a time without access to my stuff back at home, and usually without knowledge of how long I’d be there or what the weather would do.

 

I separated all my clothes into seasons.  I’d take the season I needed with me, and then if I was in a place when the seasons changed I’d have my mom mail me the next seasons box.  Then I would mail her back the season of clothing that I wasn’t wearing any more. 

 

If you organize everything at home really well before you leave it will be easier for your mom or whoever to send you things.  I used to have my mom send me small things all the time.  I’d have a date coming up that I’d want to look smoking hot for so I’d have my mom over night me my favorite black boots. 

 

Organization will be your friend and then you won’t have to bring everything with you and you’ll still be okay.  I’m sorry you are going through this difficulty but I am sure it will be worth it in the end.

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