Post # 1
I am simultaneously laughing and crying. I thought I would have no problem RSVPs since my family and friends are pretty normal and average. I had invited some friends of my mom, just the adults, and got this RSVP message for them plus their kids “thanks for the invite, so looking forward to it, will cover the costs of the kids don’t worry.”
I honestly don’t really care that much since the kids are older and nice. I’m obviously not going to take their money. They’re travelling in so I get it, just thought they would leave their kids at the hotel (pretty sure they’re 14 and 12). Whatevs. Only thing is we invited my mom’s other friends and should probably include their teenager now too. I mean it’s three spots, but just annoying! Keep in mind that my wedding is in May and they responded to the save the date.
I woefully accept my place on the list of brides with annoying RSVPs.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
That is incredibly annoying. Were you otherwise having an adult only wedding? Its not the cost issue but extremely inconsiderate of them to think its ok to just add their kids. 😡 Especially if you addressed the invites to specific names.
Post # 3
Ziggy2112 : I wouldn’t leave 14 and 12 year old kids at a hotel all afternoon and evening. I’d leave them at home with a house sitter, or decline the invitation.
It certainly is presumptuous of them to assume their kids are invited if your invitation made it very clear that they weren’t. A lot depends on family politics and relationships, but really the ideal response is to politely respond that the kids aren’t invited, but I can see how it’s easier to just invite them.
It’s reasonable to treat children of travelling guests as exceptions. If the other friend isn’t travelling, there’s no need to invite their child.
Post # 4
heavenlyflower : we were having a kid-free wedding but not on purpose, it just ended up like that. We actually went back and forth on whether to invite these kids or not, but my mom said her friends probably would leave them in the hotel with other friend’s kid to hang out!
aussiemum1248 : oh no way, I had a job at 14! Depends on the 14 year old I suppose. These kids are friends from the same town, so I will let the other one come. I don’t mind tooooo much, but it is annoying.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Ziggy2112 : I started being left at home around 11 on a regular basis. Common sense and following the rules goes a long way. 😋 It really does depend on the kid. Since you’re ok with this then I’m sure it’ll work out fine. I would have politely referred them to the specific invite names and stated this was a child free event. At least these are older kids. 🙂 Could have been worse.
Post # 6
Ziggy2112 : One of my kids had a job at 15 too. There are plenty of circumstances where I’d happily leave kids that age alone – e.g. at home or travelling to/from school – but there are too many unknowns in a small boring hotel room in an unfamiliar town. Especially with an extra friend present: more kids = more mischief. Anyway, we both agree that the parents had other options.
Post # 7
“I’m so sorry there was a miscommunication, your kids were not invited, and we are not selling tickets to our wedding.”
Post # 8
Welcome to the club (sad trombone)! Love your humour & grace. I’m really surprised they would assume their teens would want to attend a wedding – wouldn’t they rather hang out in the hotel and watch movies?
Post # 9
i babysat 3 kids at 13, leaving these kids in the hotel room by themselves is ok.
if you don’t want them there, i would have your mom call her and say it was only those named on the invite that are invited, don’t be bullied into having more kids now.
Post # 10
pippapotomous : see that’s what I thought! When I was a teen I LOVED hotels (and still do!)! Room service, movies, no parents, I totally thought they would want too. But the girls are 14 and the boy is 12, so maybe they are just into weddings?
ajillity81 : I actually babysat in a hotel while my parents attended a wedding when I was 13/14, so yes I agree, not a big deal. As I mentioned above, I thought they would prefer it, I know I would! I don’t actually care that much, so if they want to come so be it 🙂
Post # 11
This especially pisses me off because from their response they clearly understand that their kids weren’t invited, but instead of being adults and asking, which would still be rude albeit less so, they’re dictating. What if your venue was space-constrained? Not to mention that of course you’re not going to collect the money from them, what an empty offer that is. They may as well have offered you a kidney or the deed to their house, they know so certainly that you’re not going to collect. What are they going to do, ask your cost per person?
I have a special place in my heart for people who RSVP stupidly because they are both too ignorant of etiquette and too lazy to look up etiquette. I figure if you can’t manage to reply to a wedding invite without embarrassing yourself you’re probably failling in all sorts of other things, so I feel more pity than anger for those people. But these people get it, they just don’t care.
Post # 12
Ziggy2112 : That is incredibly rude, IMO and I would not appreciate that one bit. Even if “they cover the costs for their kid” what do they mean? It’s not just “I’ll pay for their food plate $50”. Food, soft bar, table settings, extra chairs, name tags, wedding favour, dessert/cake plate cutting fee? What if you have to get another table now and an extra centerpiece? Will they pay for that? What if you are having a ‘no kids’ wedding and now people see 2 kids? What if the venue is at max capacity?! Also, how would you ever ask for their money… It’s awkward for everyone.
It really irks me when people think covering costs and bringing a +1 is simple. UGHHHHHHH, so angry for you. If I were you, I’d tell my mother to tell her friends their kids aren’t invited, just on principle, even if it’s easy for you to add a few more seats.
Post # 13
Ah the great kids debate!
Firstly that was a pretty rude RSVP, even though they are trying by offering to cover extra costs, they could have phoned you and had a conversation about it.
Seeing as these guests in question are friends of your Moms, maybe she can have a little chat with them and suggest that they leave the kids at home with an older family member (aunt/grandparents etc), giving them time away from the kids too!
Another option is providing a sitter for the kids – maybe they are a bit old for that though.
I think if you want no kids, stick to no kids! 🙂
Post # 14
You should stand tall and call this guest personally. Say “I’m sorry, our guest list is finalized. We are not able to accomdate your kids as we did not invite anyone else’s children either.” If they choose not to attend, so be it.
Post # 15
You could always take them at their word:
Well, that would be $35 per person for the meal and $50 for the extra table, chairs, centerpiece etc. The original room chosen hold X, for over X we need to rent an additional area which would be an extra $1000, so that comes to …Cash or check would be fine.