(Closed) "It could be worse"…

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

doesn’t bother me, i actually like a reality check and to have someone else bring in perspective to snap me out of whatever stupid thing I’m likely worrying about.  most of the time we freak out over silly little things and it’s true – it could be worse. I’m also the person when something bad happens (no matter how awful) for someone to just tell me THAT FUCKING SUCKS instead of omg im so sorry, thinking of you, how i can help…  You can help by agreeing with me that it sucks!

Post # 4
Member
11 posts
Newbee

It does kinda belittle your concerns and feelings, doesn’t it?

I use the phrase for myself with regard to my own problems, but never say it to other people.

Post # 5
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not typically a fan of Dr Phil (ok, not at all) but I did hear a nice little gem from him once:

If you have a papercut, but I have a broken arm, does that make your papercut hurt any less?  No.

There are always problems bigger than yours in the world, but that doesn’t make yours any less concerning to you.

Post # 8
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly it depends on who says it how it’s said and what they are responding to. If its something minor ok maybe I need a reality check but if it is in response to something I am truly upset or concerned with it just makes me more upset.

Post # 9
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@FoxyBride14:  Oh I hate this too.  Feelings are valid and I HATE when they’re diminished for anyone. 

Post # 10
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Sometimes I appreciate the reality check, but I agree that overall it isn’t a helpful thing to say: pain is pain. I had a roommate in college who would ALWAYS tell me any ailment I had could be worse because she had diabetes and it was the most awful thing anyone could go through. Bitch, I had blood clots in my LUNGS. That was pretty awful! *ahem*

Anyway… ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 11
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@FoxyBride14:  Yes, it can annoy me. I try to ignore it because I feel it’s just a platitude. People are like “It could be worse,” and I want to say “Or it could be better.” haha. Knife cuts both ways, so I think the “argument” of it for “perspective” is completely invalid. Sure they could be worse, but they could also be better, so what’s the point of even saying it?

It’s like it’s just supposed to make you feel bad about how you feel, which just makes you feel worse. haha. Completely useless phrase, typically. Sometimes it’s fine and works, but usually it’s just pointless to say and/or will just make the person feel worse.  

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@FoxyBride14:  Yeah I guess it can be annoying. I suppose it’s the quick, easy way of trying to say “put things into perspective”, which is a known psychological technique (positive reframing) designed to reduce stress.

It can be construed as rude and dismissive, though, and as a way to gloss over the problem.

Post # 13
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

While I agree that sometimes we all need a little reality check, often that does annoy me. Unless the people saying it have a fix for whatever I’m upset about it, they can just shut it if that’s what they’re going to say. 

Post # 15
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Reality checks are sometimes necessary, but sometimes I just need to hear “It totally sucks!”

Post # 16
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I hate that phrase. A few months ago (naturally right before my wedding) I had a hand/arm injury that made me not able to use my hands. It was incredibly painful and I couldn’t do anything! Darling Husband was even brushing my hair for me. And someone said “Well it could be worse” + some example. I wanted to harm them. Except I couldn’t, since I had no use of my hands. I’m actually still dealing with the injury today, although since I’m typing I clearly can use my hands now ๐Ÿ™‚

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