(Closed) It don’t Matter if you’re black or white…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Nice title I myself am biracial (Cuban-American and Caucasian-American), and my Fiance is African-American. I know that there are some cultural differences for me, but there are differences between ALL families and there are always adjustments to be made when making a new family. What kind of struggles are you dealing with?

Post # 4
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

as danielle stated….there are different kinds of differences. can you be more clear about the difficulties you ar ehaving? Fiance and i are interracial also. we had problems in the beginning of our relationship (from his fam), but as they say, "this too shall pass." Fiance and i are big culture buffs…we love to travel, meet new people and learn about different cultures, so our multi-cultural wedding will definitley see different elements of our cultures. we are incorporating each other’s customs in our ceremony and reception, and we are also going to have flag bearers walk down the isle. we are not doing the traditional ring bearers, so i thought having flag bearers would better suit us. we are also going to include music from both of our cultures.

Post # 5
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

How long have you two been together? I have found that over the past 15 years, most of those issues have worked themselves out. It hasn’t always been easy, but it gets easier all the time. As far as combining cultures, I asked my fiance if he wanted to jump the broom but he didnt. We are symbolizing the combining of our two cultures by having a family blessing. My uncle and his uncle will come up and pray over us. I’m so looking forwad to that. Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

do you want to incorporate the different cultures into the wedding?  African Americans typically ‘jump the broom’ instead of lighting a unity candle or doing the sand ceremony.  Maybe google some ideas and run them past your Fiance on how to incorporate both cultures.

Post # 7
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

My best friend (more like a daughter 20 yrs younger) and her husband had a rainbow themed wedding…Everything was pastel shades of the rainbow…It symbolized for them the coming together of many colors. It was beautiful!

Post # 8
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's Grandparents’ Ranch

We are incorporating some Chilean traditions to our wedding – Which I’m going to blog about 🙂 The incorporation and mix of our traditions has being so much fun for us 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It seems like your issues aren’t strongly connected to race, though maybe I’m missing something, or there is something you aren’t sharing. If your family is having a hard time letting you go, I’m sure that would happen with someone of any race, but unfortunately, we can pin things on arbitrary differences like race. I know my family sometimes insensitively mentions my FI’s race – they think they are being ironically funny, and in their own way they are attempting to be accepting. Life is complicated, and issues can rarely be traced back to one source, so I wouldn’t get caught up on the racial aspect. I can be a bit colorblind sometimes to the point of being naive but in some ways its good for me and my relationships. If you choose to brush off any prejudice and instead focus on the happier aspects of your upcoming wedding, in my opinion it can do a lot to downplay the tensions. Hope that helps!

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