(Closed) it drives me crazy when he comes home after being gone all day and….

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is what I do, maybe it will help.  I greet him at the door and give him a kiss, take the things out of his hands and put them down for him (usually his lunch box and coat), and hug him and ask how his day was.  Sometimes we have to be the ones to make the habits, and then he will get into the habit of the kiss and hug.  I have seen other Bees help their FHs get into habits with laundry or dishes, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t work with affection.  Can’t hurt to give it a try for awhile.

Post # 4
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had to help him get into this habit also. He used to not kiss me in the mornings that he had to leave before me because he didn’t want to wake me up (cute, but I still need my kiss in the morning) so I started getting up and messing around in the bathroom 5 minutes or so before he had to leave so when he would go to leave I’d just say “kiss me” and eventually (a couple weeks?) I could stay in bed and he’d come in and kiss me on his own. Do like @tksjewelry: said and just try to help him get into the habit. Boys are funny, if you make it into a habit for him he’ll start expecting it and then when you don’t initiate it, he will.

Post # 6
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

As an introverted person, having to talk to people at work is tiring for me and sometimes when I get home I just greatly enjoy the SILENCE.  So if you Fiance is more on an introvert or doesn’t seem to want to talk about his day, just give him the big hug whne he gets home and don’t talk it personally if he needs to wind down a bit before he wants to get into a conversation.

Post # 7
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Yeah, I totally do this. Usually I just need to do my unwinding/losing myself in meaningless net surfing or reading until I can forget about my day. Then I will gladly interact with my husband. Maybe try giving a cut off time, say 1 hour of him doing his own thing, and then have an activity planned? It drives me nuts when my husband makes me stop what I’m doing so we can have the “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?” talk. Argh! It frustrates the crap out of me and this is a work in progress for us.

Post # 8
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Sometimes Darling Husband needs a little time to relax, have a beer, watch South Park or something, and then he’ll be lovey.  It depends on his day, though.  I find that the more stressed he is, the more he needs a little down time and same with me — it makes sense.

I agree with the PP’s who suggested making the first move and turn it into a habit.  He’ll follow suit eventually.

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Impatiently waiting: I thought the same thing we make them sound like dogs lol

I will agree about meeting him at the door. I meet Darling Husband too.

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