(Closed) It feels like there's no excitement…

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
16 posts

We are not married yet and honestly part of me lives for the day that there isn’t so much going on in my life. I’ve always had stuff going on, good vs. really bad. It’s exhausting and not always as great as it seems.

I can’t wait to relax and enjoy life and not be stressed out about if a, b, or c, are going to happen. I want my stresses to be little things like what color I’m going to paint the walls, not the big issues and dramatic events that all still go on for me. I am excited to get married though.

Since you are already married why not go on dates and trips and take pictures, that’s what I would do. If you don’t have money to go on trips, why not figure out a way you can make more money. I am sure it will keep you busy Smile

Post # 18
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like you need to stop thinking about yourself and do something for someone else. Honestly, this sounds like a very “privileged problem”. Volunteer to help tutor kids after school, volunteer to help out at a local animal shelter, teach an elderly swimming class at the Y, pick up trash in the park, make blankets for a battered women’s shelter, etc. etc.

Post # 19
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Spinder:  I don’t have any great advice. Just wanted to say that we’re currently expecting our first baby and while it’s a wonderful blessing, it’s a huge and stressful change and it makes me miss the boring times! Don’t rush things. Life doesn’t need to be exciting every moment, and a few years from now, you will probably look back on this boring, easy time fondly! Just my two cents. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 20
3968 posts
Honey bee

@Spinder:  I think sometimes you have to make your own excitement!  If there are certain themes that you feel are making you more jealous than others, see if you can figure out how to do something to help you do something similar – ie: if going back to school is what you desire – see if you can make it happen!  If it’s vacation and you are on a budget – take a road trip and explore a new place nearby!

I’ll also say that even though people may seem to have fabulous and exiting lives on FB – it may not be the whole picture (ie: some of those people may be completely miserable).


Post # 21
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

@Spinder:  Oh bummer. ๐Ÿ™ Others have given some great advice, too, so I hope that’s helping. And don’t forget that it’s okay to just enjoy being married for a while! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I completely empathize with you. I feel very similarly in that I have become antsy in my “home body” role. To make matters worse, I don’t have many (any) friends and I work from home, so I don’t feel like I get much excitement at all. 

A few months ago I made us a date jar with fun ideas in it. When we get bored we pick from it and it gives us some excitement that day. 

Post # 23
21 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s so ironic b/c my husband and I just had this conversation…not that we were “bored” but more like we felt like we weren’t “fun” anymore.  We jumped right from marriage into relocating, finding him a job, buying a new car, setting up house and taking care of our 3 year old.  We rarely have days off together and were in some serious need for not being serious.

So we’ve started to implement surprise date nights/days.  We each take turns planning different activities for the other person…sometimes it even means I have to play hookie from work so we can share the day together. Sometimes it’s as easy as getting a hotel room across town and trying the restaurants and shops over there for a fun change.

We still get bogged down with every day things but it still works to help spice things up occasionally. 

Post # 24
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Plan a vacation for next year. Go to Europe or something. It’ll give you lots of opportunity for dreaming and scheming together.

Also, read a book together and discuss it, or pick up new hobbies, or, like a PP suggested, volunteer or find a cause to support. Go to concerts together or cultivate some other shared interest (film, cooking, fitness).

You could also make a list of people you’re most grateful to have in your life and maybe take for granted or don’t keep in touch with as well as you could, and pick out (or make) little “thinking of you” gifts and cards, or find some other way to use this relatively calm, low-stress period of your life to appreciate and nurture your relationships with friends and family.

Post # 25
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

A piece of advice: Don’t look longlngly at Facebook. 

People put the most epic, edited versions of their lives on Facebook. They make their meals look pretty, their pregnancies look like poetry and their relationships look like fantasies.

Excitement is overrated.

Date nights and spending lots of time together, though, should be essential. <3 Just focus on your own life and beautiful love story. 

Post # 26
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

twitterpated0315 Awesome advice! Couldn’t have said it any better!

Post # 27
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

There are alot of things you can do even in one day – and change up your routine so that you have some variety. 

On days off you could go the grocery store and cook a meal together that you would not normaly have time to make on days that you work. Or, go to thrift stores and recreate new projects to decorate your apt or spruce up old furniture. Also, like another said, do volunteer projects together – non-profits need alot of help during the week!  

Post # 28
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m always saving for some sort of adventure, mainly a travel related one. It means I am always working towards something and always have something to look forward to!


Post # 29
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’ve only been married for 2.5 weeks 1.5 weeks… where is my head??!!!… but I love being “bored” together, lol! With all the craziness of the wedding planning I’m very glad to be able to relax, save money, and spend time together. I know after a few months I will probably delve more into my work, but it’s nice to relax. Maybe you two should take up a new hobby together or take classes in something? Maybe a couples date night – whether it be alone or with other friends – once a month?



Post # 30
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

AWESOME idea from a PP – volunteer! There are SO many organizations that have had to cut staff due to the economy but could use help. River cleanups, working with animals, homeless shelters, schools (including after school programs), etc… Think of something you’re interested in and start researching / calling! It could also lead to a less boring career! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 31
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Volunteer somewhere once a week or join an organization that you’re interested in.  They generally have events you can attend and even help organize.  Then you too will have something to post to Facebook about.  I feel like a better person after I volunteer because I am giving something back to society and it’s something I believe in.

After you get married there are only a few more rites of passage: buying a house, having children, becoming grandparents, retiring…  Plus, after the excitement of planning and having your wedding, everything will seem dull by comparison.

It’s time to own the sweetness of just being a couple enjoying life together.  It is not always exciting but it doesn’t have to be boring.  I found that planning one small activity a week and one major outing/mini-vacation per month plays a big part in keeping us from getting dull.  Right now we are impatiently waiting for Weezer weekend.

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