It happened again. We lost our baby.

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
434 posts
Helper bee

I wish I could say more but I can’t. I’m so sorry this happened. I can’t imagine what you and your husband must be going through right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers, bee <3

Post # 3
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Oh honey. I don’t have the right words to say to you but you are in my thoughts. I’m so sorry you have been through this. My heart is hurting for you. Know that you are not alone!

Post # 4
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am very sorry for your loss. Please don’t blame yourself. 

Post # 5
6146 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have several friends who have dealt with fertility struggles and pregnancy loss and it weighs on the spirit. I hope you have a good community of people around you to love you up and that you can talk to about what’s going in in your mind and heart as you heal.

Is it possible for you and your Darling Husband to get away for a while? Take a quick vacation to heal and get some down time? Then, once your body has recentered, you can think about whether or not you want to try again.

Again, my heart goes out to you.

Post # 6
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I am so sorry for your loss.  Lean on your support system and be kind to yourself, this isn’t your fault.  Sending you love & prayers!

Post # 7
2756 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry. I wish there was something to be said that could make things less painful, but words just aren’t enough. You and your family are in my prayers. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Take one day at a time, it’s all you can do.

My heart is breaking for you. 

Post # 8
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Swaneset Bay Resort & Country Club

I am just broken reading this from you. Our losses were similar last year and it was nice knowing there was someone else out there that understood. I know saying I’m sorry for your loss isn’t enough and it’s just words but know you’re in my thoughts. Take time to grieve, be angry, be sad, fall apart and put yourself back together again when your ready, if you ever are. Wishing you love and light when your in such a dark place. 

Post # 9
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I can not even imagine how heartbreaking this must be for both you and your husband.  Please try not to blame yourself.  You have done everything right.  You are not defective because you may have a medical condition.  If you do someday decide you want to try again, I hope you can feel empowered by the fact that you now have a diagnosis and a treatment plan.

I was absolutely heartbroken when I miscarried my first baby, and that was an early first trimester miscarriage.  I did not ever see my baby, did not know if my baby was a boy or a girl.  I felt empty in a way that is hard to describe.  I felt like I was mourning all alone with just my husband.  Your loss is, I’m sure, so much harder.  Don’t let the world tell you that you have to move on if you don’t want to.  You have the right name your son, to mourn your son, to have funeral services for your son if you want.  You are allowed to wear jewelry with your son’s birthday or name or birthstone if you want.  You are allowed to celebrate the life of your son if you want.  This time is also an opportunity for your bond with your husband to become stronger.  You are a team that is facing this together, and you are going to come through it together.

You don’t need to try again.  You don’t need to give up.  You don’t need to decide now.  Take the time you need.

As an aside, I once had to go under to have my placenta removed.  It was scary and the attempts to remove the placenta prior to surgery were incredibly painful.  Even that little piece of your story is a traumatic event in and of itself. When it happened to me, it messed with my head for so long that I was starting to wonder if I might have ptsd. (I’m pretty sure I did not, but I was quite traumatized.) Seriously, do not be hard on yourself.  This is all really hard stuff for a person to go through.


Post # 10
9589 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I am so sorry bee, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but it must be terrible.

Post # 11
1220 posts
Bumble bee

Words feel totally inadequate to express how sorry I am to read this update. I remember your story last year and I also remember your update when you conceived again. I cannot imagine how painful this must be for you and your husband and my heart breaks for you both. As a PP wrote, please take all the time you need to grieve and heal. Don’t feel pressured to make any decisions about anything, because right now you are entitled to nothing but love, support and understanding.  I hope you find all three with your loved ones.  Sending so much love and hope for happier days to come. xx

Post # 12
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

This was so shattering to me.  I am so deeply sorry for your loss.  No more blaming yourself.  Don’t stop trying if you want a baby, the stitch may work.  And don’t forget about adoption.  I’ve said this on another thread before, but there are so many babies brought into this world by other women who are MEANT to be with a different family.  

Post # 13
665 posts
Busy bee

Bunnyang :  so so sorry for your loss. Do not for a second blame yourself! No!! You are a good mom you got your scans you picked a wonderful partner and hospital. Prayers go out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Post # 14
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My gosh that is so horrible.  I’m glad you got good care and that they have an idea in mind as to what can be done next time.  Hugs, bee.

Post # 15
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Bunnyang :  Oh sweetheart, your experiences are just so terrible. I’m so sorry that you’re both going through this. 

Please be assured that your feelings and thoughts are all natural and valid. You sound like an incredible woman, you are somehow remaining positive and keeping things in perspective – I think that’s quite extraordinary. 

You and Darling Husband need a break from all of this. Don’t go thinking that you have to try again straightaway, or at all. I think it would benefit you both to seek out grief counselling to help get your minds around what has happened. There is no guidebook to this sort of thing.

You haven’t done anything wrong – you need to know that. This is just one of those awful things that happens to a very few women and it’s unfair and uncontrollable. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, with your husband’s hand in yours and eventually you will find what is right for you. Hugs to you. X

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