It happened again. We lost our baby.

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 34
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

I haven’t been in your shoes but as a mummy I just want to say my heart breaks for you. 

Also, and I know nothing takes away those losses BUT as I was reading your story it made me think of two friends who both went through what you have in the same way. They too both got diagnosed with ‘incompetent cervix’. They both had the stitch put in and both went on to have full term healthy babies!  I don’t know what the stats on this procedure are but it looks good from what I know about. 

Sending you lots of love and hope the stitch is successful for you too if you try again. 

Post # 35
1053 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I am so sorry for your loss. Although it’s hard, please try not to blame yourself.


Thomas is a great name. <3

Post # 37
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

My heart is breaking for you. To have this happen to you even once, at 18 weeks, but then two times? I’m so sorry. Whatever you and your husband decide to do moving forward, I hope that time will heal you, both emotionally and physically. And please don’t blame yourself, you were a good mom and it was out of your control. Sending lots of love your way!

Post # 38
140 posts
Blushing bee

I am so sorry for both your losses. I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant and can only imagine what it is like to get that far and experience what you have. Please don’t blame yourself at all – pregnancy is so out of our control, you did nothing wrong at all. It’s really just bad luck. I am sending lots of positive thoughts to you.

Of course you need to grieve your most recent loss and ponder your next steps. I’m not sure if it helps at all, but I have a friend who has had two late losses like you but has also carried three babies successfully to term. So it’s possible your doctors will be able to assist you in having a full term pregnancy if you decide you would like to try again in the future.

Post # 39
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m so so sorry for your loss. You are absolutely not to blame. Take some time for yourself to heal.

Post # 40
8509 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Bunnyang :  I wish I had the words but I don’t. I am so very sorry for your losses.

Post # 41
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Bunnyang :  I am so sorry to hear of both your losses.  I don’t know if I can add anything that’s already been said except that a friend of mine also had a miscarriage at around 10 weeks and went into pre term labor at around 19 weeks with her second (and the baby died a few hours later).  She too was diagnosed with an incomplete cervix and had stitches placed when she became pregnant again. (I think it was around 12 weeks as well).  She saw a maternal-fetal medicine specialist for that pregnancy because of her previous 2 losses.  She delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy about 3 weeks before my wedding.

Post # 42
1638 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry for your losses Bee.  Not anything we can do but just know that we all feel for you and yours……..

Post # 43
4813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I’m sorry and am angry for you. They could have/should have stitched you before thus happened after your first miscarriage. Many women whiny Ave incompetent cervixes who have support stitched in go on to have completely normal pregnancies. A client of mine had 2 miscarriages, one at 16wks and another at 22 before they put in a stitch and she went on to have 3 successful, uncomplicated pregnancies after. It’s just a lot of trial and error with these doctors and unfortunately women have to bear the grunt of the heartache. Don’t lose hope, you’ll have your baby.

Post # 44
4813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Sorry** can’t edit.
**many women who have had incompetent cervixes*..

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