Post # 31
I’d like to thank everybody for such kind words and support. I actually had to take a bit of time because I was crying as I read your messages. This is such a tough time but I am trying to heal and Darling Husband and I are really helping each other.
TwilightRarity : When it happened it was the start of a two week school holiday (DH and I are both teachers). We did get some time to ourselves, which was really good.
Cassidylouise : Thank you so much. It is heartbreaking that this has happened to you too. It’s a comfort to know that someone understands, but I wish it hadn’t happened to you too. I hope you are holding up ok.
Post # 32
pearlrose : I’m so sorry you lost your first baby, that’s terrible. Thank you so much for your words. I keep trying to remember that a medical condition is not my fault, and although it does mean kids may not be in our future, this isn’t something I’ve chosen. I stil sometimes feel like if Darling Husband had married someone else he could have had a different life. But then I know he loves me. It’s just very hard to have all this racing through my mind all the time. Yes, the surgery was a scary and painful part of what happened. I have considered whether I might be suffering from a bit of PTSD, as I keep remembering the scary parts, and seeing all the blood and when they took my baby away. We named him Thomas.
livster : Thank you so much for this – I remember you and your kind words last year as well. I do feel lucky to have some wonderful support in family, friends and of course Darling Husband. I have a couple of weeks off work now, and I hope that is enough. It’s so hard not to think about what will happen in the future.
bridetobe2018 : Thank you – I am going to try to stop blaming myself. We are going to be discussing possibilities with the doctors in about a month’s time. I have always thought of adption as something really good. Unfortunately, it is so difficult, expensive and time consuming here that it might not be possible. But we will see.
summerrain123 : 🙂 I teared up when you called me a good mom. I don’t even think of myself as a mom, and it’s sad. Thank you.
Post # 33
howdoyoudo : I think you are very right – we need a break and some distance from the situation – some perspective. you made me feel better with your lovely words. I do think it’s important to see how Darling Husband and I are very lucky in a lot of ways. It is an awful thing, but there is a lot of good in life. x
Post # 34
I haven’t been in your shoes but as a mummy I just want to say my heart breaks for you.
Also, and I know nothing takes away those losses BUT as I was reading your story it made me think of two friends who both went through what you have in the same way. They too both got diagnosed with ‘incompetent cervix’. They both had the stitch put in and both went on to have full term healthy babies! I don’t know what the stats on this procedure are but it looks good from what I know about.
Sending you lots of love and hope the stitch is successful for you too if you try again.
Post # 35
I am so sorry for your loss. Although it’s hard, please try not to blame yourself.
Thomas is a great name. <3
Post # 36
Also, have you checked with an infertility doctor for some tests regarding genetic issues. I know I read this article and it was interesting to hear that this can be genetic in the male that can cause miscarriage.
I am so sorry for your loss and praying for you.
Post # 37
My heart is breaking for you. To have this happen to you even once, at 18 weeks, but then two times? I’m so sorry. Whatever you and your husband decide to do moving forward, I hope that time will heal you, both emotionally and physically. And please don’t blame yourself, you were a good mom and it was out of your control. Sending lots of love your way!
Post # 38
I am so sorry for both your losses. I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant and can only imagine what it is like to get that far and experience what you have. Please don’t blame yourself at all – pregnancy is so out of our control, you did nothing wrong at all. It’s really just bad luck. I am sending lots of positive thoughts to you.
Of course you need to grieve your most recent loss and ponder your next steps. I’m not sure if it helps at all, but I have a friend who has had two late losses like you but has also carried three babies successfully to term. So it’s possible your doctors will be able to assist you in having a full term pregnancy if you decide you would like to try again in the future.
Post # 39
I’m so so sorry for your loss. You are absolutely not to blame. Take some time for yourself to heal.
Post # 40
Bunnyang : I wish I had the words but I don’t. I am so very sorry for your losses.
Post # 41
Bunnyang : I am so sorry to hear of both your losses. I don’t know if I can add anything that’s already been said except that a friend of mine also had a miscarriage at around 10 weeks and went into pre term labor at around 19 weeks with her second (and the baby died a few hours later). She too was diagnosed with an incomplete cervix and had stitches placed when she became pregnant again. (I think it was around 12 weeks as well). She saw a maternal-fetal medicine specialist for that pregnancy because of her previous 2 losses. She delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy about 3 weeks before my wedding.
Post # 42
I’m sorry for your losses Bee. Not anything we can do but just know that we all feel for you and yours……..
Post # 43
I’m sorry and am angry for you. They could have/should have stitched you before thus happened after your first miscarriage. Many women whiny Ave incompetent cervixes who have support stitched in go on to have completely normal pregnancies. A client of mine had 2 miscarriages, one at 16wks and another at 22 before they put in a stitch and she went on to have 3 successful, uncomplicated pregnancies after. It’s just a lot of trial and error with these doctors and unfortunately women have to bear the grunt of the heartache. Don’t lose hope, you’ll have your baby.
Post # 44
Sorry** can’t edit.
**many women who have had incompetent cervixes*..