(Closed) It Happened to Me …

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

Throwing around that he’s gay as some sort of justification for why he never proposed to you is absurd, and hurtful.  I absolutely do hear that it hurts to feel you were going somewhere you weren’t, and it really is very hurtful that he spread lies about you after the breakup that have impacted your life.  My suggestion to you would be to not turn around and do the same.  You had my compassion and sympathy up until the last line, but trying to attack his character by saying he’s gay (and thus insinuating… What, that his current relationship is invalid?) really crosses a lot of lines, and won’t win you any sympathy with most folks.

I know the situation sucks, but maybe it’s best you stop fixating on his current relationship and sexual orientation (whatever it may be).  Obviously staying in the loop is causing you a lot of bitterness and hurt, that seems best laid to rest.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  ImTheBoss.
Post # 3
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

sesame:  well, you guys obviously weren’t right for each Other. I dated my ex for 7 years and he didn’t propose (he was bad for me in so many ways) and I married the next person I dated. It had nothing to do with how many people were in between because I love my husband and I would have married him if he was he first or 100th person I dated after my ex.

Post # 4
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like he wasn’t the right guy for you. The right one will come along. 

Besides, why would you want to marry someone you think is a closeted homosexual? (agree your comment is a little offensive). 

Post # 5
Member
10027 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Wow.

I was totally prepared to sympathize with you until you had to throw in the dig about thinking he’s gay.

 

Post # 6
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You broke up at least 19 months ago. Seeing if you could rekindle does not mean picking up where you left off in a serious relationship. It’s starting over, and like many new relationships, it didn’t work out. He found someone else, and he’s happy with her, and they’re getting married. It has nothing to do with you. He’s moved on with his life, and you should to. At least nine months later and you’re acting like he is intentionally trying to personally hurt you now. The comment about his sexuality just sounds petty, and I seriously don’t understand why you think any of this is even about you. You need to focus on more healthy things like hobbies or real friends.

Post # 7
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Even though you’re upset now I’ll bet that you eventually get over it and also move on. And unless you’ve been given some indication that he is attracted only to men, him marrying someone other than you (especially a female…) is not a sign of homosexuality.

Post # 8
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

See?  When a man knows, he knows. Sorry this guy was such a huge ass and played with your emotions. 

Post # 11
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What planet did the homosexual comment fly in from?? 

The scenario you describe is actually very common, long term gf, no proposal, guy meets someone.else and gets engaged in a few.months. Stop talking to him and his family with their hare-brained ideas about breaking up the engagement. Focus on your next move, not his. 

Post # 14
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Girl I know you know this but seriously, you need to move on.  He did you a FAVOR by not proposing to you.  Why would you want to marry him?  All you’ve done is state how incompatible you two are…including he wouldn’t have sex with you.  

Stop talking to the family and thank your lucky stars you dodged a bullet with him.  

Once you meet the right guy you’ll be even more happy but until then you neeeeeed to move on.  Besides, you’re not going to meet the man of your dreams if your stuck dwelling on a bad boyfriend. 

Post # 15
Member
8555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

sesame:  

No, the refusal of sex must have been really really humiliating, I know I would  have handled it badly!  But do let go of it, it’s doing yout self esteem no good  at all to dwell on it.  Not a great idea to tell anybody, not even internet strangers,  about intimate  details  of your sex   life unless for  counselling  reasons.

He may be gay, he may not , but  whatever he is, it is no longer your business and should not be your concern . For everybody’s sake, especially your own,  move on dear OP.  We have pretty  much all of us got some  bad/sad/mad/unhappy/failed relationship in our past . But the past is where it should stay. Learn from it and Move On.   You can  do it .

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