It happened! What advice would you give?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Congrats bee! Beautiful ring.

I wish I had not felt rushed into making decisions. People ask you SO MANY questions when you get engaged, and “we don’t know yet” is a perfectly normal answer.

I felt pressured to have a wedding instead of eloping like I originally wanted, and I do regret booking a venue so quickly. Just take your time planning! There’s no rush! Availability will work itself out.

Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Congrats!!  That sucker looks heavy.  My Advice: Be vague and elusive when everyone starts asking you about the wedding plans.  It’s for you and your fiance to figure out, just the two of you.  I can’t even count how many times the plan changed for us in the first few months of engagement and eeeeveryone has an opinion.  The wedding chatter got so overwhelming sometimes I would joke that I wouldn’t have pushed so hard for a proposal if I had known the can of worms it would unleash.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Insure your ring.

Take your time; talk about your options; do your research.

Have the wedding you can afford. Don’t count on any promised money until the check clears in your account. Don’t ask anyone for money (that includes cash bars, honeyfunds, dollar dances, tip jars–don’t do any of that). 

Compromise with each other; do not give in to pressure from anyone else.

Do not ask your mother or fmil to give you a list of people to invite; it’s your party; invite your own guests. Asking others for lists of people to invite is how you end up with 300 guests, half of them strangers.

Don’t expect any guest or bridal party member to work at (or before or after) your wedding. Or, for that matter, to open his/her wallet. A bridesmaid pays for her dress–that’s all.

The wedding is for you and your fiance; the reception is a thank you for your guests.

Best wishes to the bride. Congratulations to the groom.

Post # 5
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

Enjoy this time with your FI! Being engaged is a transition period before being married ao you should enjoy it while it lasts.

Post # 6
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2020

oh gosh! your ring is really beautiful. omg, i just can’t take my eyes off it

Post # 7
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
itellyouwhat :  Great choice scrapping colour for carat! As a fellow M-coloured solitaire bee I 100% support your choice! I love the occasional buttery hues. 

 

Advice-wise: Take your time planning your wedding. I took a year and thoroughly enjoyed it and still wish I could do it all again because I had so much fun! Try explaining having wedding fever when you’re already 3-years married! 

Post # 8
Member
35 posts
Newbee

Congratulations!!! Beautiful ring!!

My first piece of advice would be to enjoy this time together!

An important one I’ve found out along the way is don’t assume your fiancé doesn’t care about certain things – always include him in decision making and give him the choice whether or not he wants to be involved in that certain aspect. My fiancé has some really strong opinions that came as a shock to me, so always listen to each other!

Post # 9
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

View original reply
cassandra7 :  The wedding is for you and your fiance; the reception is a thank you for your guests.  That’s a great piece of advice. 

 

I am not engaged yet but this thread is already so helpful, thanks OP! 

Post # 11
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Take your time so that you and your fiancé can settle on your expectations for your marriage and your wedding.

I would start with premarital counseling. You’ll want an officiant, so why not find one that does both and build a relationship? 

Figure out your vision of a wedding. We jumped into planning almost immediately and now I have second thoughts on everything because I didn’t realize until much later what it was that I actually wanted.

Work on your guest list while you’re in the engagement high. Don’t invite people out of courtesy if you don’t really want them to be there. Once they have an invite in hand, they can always come. 

If you’re going big, tackle the place and date before getting another soul involved. This includes bridesmaids and moms. Have some concrete details in place before overwhelming yourself with accommodating to everyone’s schedule.

 

Post # 12
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Congrats! Your ring is stunning!!! I don’t have any advice because I’m not engaged yet, but I am curious about your ring, it looks very white. Is it the lighting? Does it ever look more yellow in certain lights? We just purchased a ring and I went for the larger stone and compromised on color.

Post # 13
Member
6286 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Congratulations!!!  Your ring is gorgeous!

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