Post # 1
After taking a career-critical all-day exam the day before, I was being a TOTAL bum, lying on the couch and bingeing on Netflix. He came home from work, paused Grey’s, and got down on one knee. And I said YES! It was simple and perfect and exactly what I wanted.
And now I ask you all: What one piece of advice do you wish you had gotten when you were newly engaged?
Specs: 2.3 carat, M color, SI1, triple excellent, 4.5 ring size. I compromised on color to get a bigger stone and don’t regret it ONE bit.
ETA: I accidentally closed the comments (whoooops!), so I deleted and then reposted.
Post # 2
Congrats bee! Beautiful ring.
I wish I had not felt rushed into making decisions. People ask you SO MANY questions when you get engaged, and “we don’t know yet” is a perfectly normal answer.
I felt pressured to have a wedding instead of eloping like I originally wanted, and I do regret booking a venue so quickly. Just take your time planning! There’s no rush! Availability will work itself out.
Post # 3
Congrats!! That sucker looks heavy. My Advice: Be vague and elusive when everyone starts asking you about the wedding plans. It’s for you and your fiance to figure out, just the two of you. I can’t even count how many times the plan changed for us in the first few months of engagement and eeeeveryone has an opinion. The wedding chatter got so overwhelming sometimes I would joke that I wouldn’t have pushed so hard for a proposal if I had known the can of worms it would unleash.
Post # 4
Insure your ring.
Take your time; talk about your options; do your research.
Have the wedding you can afford. Don’t count on any promised money until the check clears in your account. Don’t ask anyone for money (that includes cash bars, honeyfunds, dollar dances, tip jars–don’t do any of that).
Compromise with each other; do not give in to pressure from anyone else.
Do not ask your mother or fmil to give you a list of people to invite; it’s your party; invite your own guests. Asking others for lists of people to invite is how you end up with 300 guests, half of them strangers.
Don’t expect any guest or bridal party member to work at (or before or after) your wedding. Or, for that matter, to open his/her wallet. A bridesmaid pays for her dress–that’s all.
The wedding is for you and your fiance; the reception is a thank you for your guests.
Best wishes to the bride. Congratulations to the groom.
Post # 5
Enjoy this time with your FI! Being engaged is a transition period before being married ao you should enjoy it while it lasts.
Post # 6
oh gosh! your ring is really beautiful. omg, i just can’t take my eyes off it
Post # 7
Great choice scrapping colour for carat! As a fellow M-coloured solitaire bee I 100% support your choice! I love the occasional buttery hues.
Advice-wise: Take your time planning your wedding. I took a year and thoroughly enjoyed it and still wish I could do it all again because I had so much fun! Try explaining having wedding fever when you’re already 3-years married!
Post # 8
Congratulations!!! Beautiful ring!!
My first piece of advice would be to enjoy this time together!
An important one I’ve found out along the way is don’t assume your fiancé doesn’t care about certain things – always include him in decision making and give him the choice whether or not he wants to be involved in that certain aspect. My fiancé has some really strong opinions that came as a shock to me, so always listen to each other!
Post # 9
cassandra7 : The wedding is for you and your fiance; the reception is a thank you for your guests.
That’s a great piece of advice.
I am not engaged yet but this thread is already so helpful, thanks OP!
Post # 10
I have been repeating “Availability will work itself out” in my head while looking at venues and stressing about locking one down rightnow
. Thank you!
thank you! I’m already starting to hear the opinions (wanted and unwanted, haha)
All of this is so great! And yes, ring was insured the day it was placed on my finger.
thank you! I’m trying to savor it.
thank you! <3
yass M-colored squad! Also, I’m sure I will have more questions on these boards in the future, so hopefully I can help you vicariously with your wedding-planning fever 🙂
sound advice–I have already been (pleasantly) surprised by some of the things he wants to help or have input on. Like “Ok, great, here’s the to-do list, get after it!” Makes sense that we should plan this party together since it’s for both of us.
Happy to help! I love crowdsourcing advice from people who have already been there, done that. Why should we go it alone when all these wonderful people are willing to lend us their wisdom?
Post # 11
Take your time so that you and your fiancé can settle on your expectations for your marriage and your wedding.
I would start with premarital counseling. You’ll want an officiant, so why not find one that does both and build a relationship?
Figure out your vision of a wedding. We jumped into planning almost immediately and now I have second thoughts on everything because I didn’t realize until much later what it was that I actually wanted.
Work on your guest list while you’re in the engagement high. Don’t invite people out of courtesy if you don’t really want them to be there. Once they have an invite in hand, they can always come.
If you’re going big, tackle the place and date before getting another soul involved. This includes bridesmaids and moms. Have some concrete details in place before overwhelming yourself with accommodating to everyone’s schedule.
Post # 12
Congrats! Your ring is stunning!!! I don’t have any advice because I’m not engaged yet, but I am curious about your ring, it looks very white. Is it the lighting? Does it ever look more yellow in certain lights? We just purchased a ring and I went for the larger stone and compromised on color.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Congratulations!!! Your ring is gorgeous!
Post # 14
Fabulous advice. Thank you!
I’ll post a few more photos in different lighting in the next comment so you can see. It definitely looks warmer in sunlight, but I rarely notice any warmth/”buttery-ness” indoors.
Post # 15
Top three: In ambient outdoor light while sitting in the car; Bottom three: direct outdoor light while sitting in the car. I think it looks warmest when viewed obliquely or from the side. Face-up, it’s white.