Post # 1
So I’ve been binge-watching old episodes of SYYTD during my commute. And I’m struck by how often a bride goes dress shopping and one of her relatives (usually a parent or grandparent) pitches a fit that an ivory, cream, or honestly any white dress that isn’t stark-diamond-blue-white isn’t white enough.
I know that they script a lot of things on reality tv shows, though. So for all I know, this is faux drama being created by some producer who likes to tell moms and grandmas and dads and grandpas to occasionally object to a dress not being white enough.
But I’ve also seen some threads on the bee lately where a bee says her Fiance or her mom or someone doesn’t like the dress she loves because it’s ivory/champagne/gold instead of white, or it’s just not bright-white enough. (I’m kind of surprised because I feel like ivory is going to be more flattering on most women.)
I’m curious – did anyone run into this when dress shopping? Did anyone sacrifice the ivory or cream dress of your dreams and choose bright white instead to make a family member happy?
Post # 2
Yup! My mom was totally against anything but white for me until I tried on a few white dresses and she saw how deathly washed out and pale it made me. It still took about four more stores to convince her that a coloured underlay and not just ivory would still look like a wedding dress.
Post # 3
misslucy : there’s a traditional stigma against “ivory” dresses, as being what one wears as a “second time” bride. I’m sure all these attitudes are holdovers from that era – the idea that a first time bride wears white, while a second time bride wears ivory. Luckily, the wedding industry has largely moved on from this outdated conception. But i wouldn’t be surprised if those mothers or grandmothers were NOT scripted into saying that and they really do have that idea in their heads.
Post # 4
I think little old ladies struggle with it, especially the southern ones! Thankfully the people (brides and industry) making the decision have ditched that mindset. My SIL is my MIL’s mini me so that meant she was adamant about having a diamond white dress, virgin bride, I wont touch alcohol ever in my life. Nothing wrong with that. When it came to my dress shopping, I wanted something sexy and not big. Ended up with a deep V, low back, sheath dress with a gold underlay! Mother in law says/acted like she really likes it, but honestly her personal opinions and preferences wouldn’t have need anything to me.
Post # 5
I don’t think bright white is very popular anymore, as it isn’t super flattering on most skin tones. Honestly I can’t even tell the difference between “white” and ivory, so this always baffles me when I see people insist on it on shows like Say Yes to the Dress. I am not from a religious family/area so reading between the lines here.. people want white-white dresses because it means that they are a “pure” virgin right? Are all the people on the shows definitely virgins when their relatives are insiting on a white-white dress? Are their families totally aware of their sex lives? So many questions. Whenever I hear a bride on these shows say “I’ve earned my white dress” (usually the Atlanta version) it makes me gag a little inside..
Post # 6
I guess I see both sides of this. On one hand, what kind of weird person picks apart white/ivory/cream/eggshell whatever? Kind of like D/E/F/etc diamonds, who even notices if they’re not right next to each other? On the other hand, pastel and nude dresses (like noticeably not white) are definitely a thing, and not what I wanted personally, so I get that.
My dress was from the 1940s, and it was ivory not stark white, so I don’t think anyone alive today has a real excuse for thinking that slightly-off-white is somehow a big deal…
Post # 7
I thought I wanted a “white” dress until I saw how bright white actually looks on a dress. I quickly changed my mind to ordering ivory and it looked white to me unless you put it right up next to something that was a stark white.
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space
I watch a lot of SYTTD and this is one of those things I have such a hard time fully understanding because I can’t relate AT ALL. I had wanted a dress with colour for as long as I can remember, so I didn’t even realize that there was a difference between white and ivory – I just assumed they were the “same”.
I was worried that my mom was going to be upset when I first told her I wanted something with pink but lucky for me she had no problem with it.
Post # 9
I agree with PP in that stark bright white does not suit a large percentage of brides. I have been to quite a few weddings and find that off white/ warm white/ ivory or whatever you choose to call it seems more feminine, romantic and complimentary. I think the choice of bright white being more ” virginal” is kind of silly.
Post # 10
misslucy : I actually don’t like white on me but wore it anyway for the tradition of it. Might as well look different than usual. My dress was technically ivory but honestly I can’t see the difference. I paired it with some serious orange to give my splash of color and wish I’d had a bit more. I did try on a taupe dress that looked cute online but was a lot browner in reality. It was super, super comfortable but just wasn’t ‘wedding’ enough for me.
I do remember my bestie getting married (she beat me by about 9 years) and when she tried dresses, we convinced her to try a pale blue. I was utterly gorgeous but we couldn’t talk her into it and she wound up wearing a white lace. In the end it was probably wise, as she wanted purple as her wedding color, but man it was lovely.
I love seeing people knock tradition a bit with their wedding dresses. I’m into the white look (hate the pink) because it does make them look special/different than the norm, but I like that additional colored touch a lot more than when they add bling.
Post # 11
My dress was champagne and ivory. No one batted an eye, or at least they didn’t say anything to me about it. I asked the ladies at the bridal store, and they said the store had very few white dress options to actually try on. It’s not a very flattering color on most people.
Post # 12
I hate it when they say stuff like “I earned my white dress!” on that show!
This is fascinating stuff to me, particularly since I never particularly wanted to wear white. (I wound up picking metallic gold).
Post # 13
FutureMrsBex : Yeah I thought I wanted white too until I realized what ivory vs white actually was and was like yikes, ivory for sure.
Post # 14
I think 99% of SYTTD is scripted drama and it ruins it I normally end up fast forwarding through most of it. Honestly most people can’t tell if they have a ivory dress. The one I tried on was ivory cafe. I asked about white when I went to order my dress and they were like it doesn’t look as nice in my it so I went with an ivory ivory for my dress. Most the dresses I tried on were ivory and maybe a colored liner. Honestly I’m not a big white dress I think if you could where any color when getting married I probably would have went with blue. I think I did try a white dress on and didn’t like it made me look sick. Now days people go with what complements them and even a colored liner to make the lace pop is very popular. But they have so many different shades of from ivroy it really can very.
Post # 15
I actually look best in white, so it’s frustrating that there aren’t a lot of options in actual white. But this will be my second wedding, and I don’t care what people think. I don’t judge other brides by the color of their dress, either.
I want to wear something I feel beautiful and confident in. I’ve always looked best in stark or bright colors (jewel tones, pure black, stark white, or bright red, etc.). Some pastels are okay like purple or blue, but most others wash me out. Ivory and off-white have the same effect.