(Closed) It is almost funny…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@Snuggle:  Oh lordy. I’m sure he meant well!! I’m total drama queen too lol so I probably would have reacted the same way. OFF WITH CHRISTMAS’ HEAD! You know what, I’m sure you’re going to be one of those bees who is completely taken by suprise by a proposal. 

Keep calm and wait on!

Post # 4
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Snuggle: Ouch… I can see where that would have hurt… hopefully you and your son are ok now (guessing he’s a little guy… and thought it was a fun prank)

You said:

Stay tuned for more misadventures of this waiting bee during engagement season.  I’ve never been ring shopping and have no timeline so I’m in the waiting camp of wishful thinking here

I read the Waiting Board often, so I’ll be looking out for your future posts… hopefully you’ll have some good news to share soon

As for the last part of your statement… no ring shopping / no timeline

Have you guys at least talked Marriage… have you shared your LIFE PLANS etc ?

That would be first step in getting the process going rather than just hanging your heart on a wish & a prayer.

I say this cause I hate to see a good woman / fellow Bee wasting time on something that she sees as a “Romantic” Relationship and the man sees as a “Fun” one.


Post # 5
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Snuggle:  How old is your son?  Have you been actively talking about wanting an engagement with him?  Does he understand what it all means?

I’m only saying this because I feel like he was told about it, he ruined the surprise, and maybe was ‘coached’ by your SO for him to take it back and say it’s not going to happen?!?  Is that a possibility?

Post # 6
63 posts
Worker bee

@Snuggle:  I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I do think it’s possible @veryberry13:  could be right on this one. Maybe your SO found out that your little guy spilled the beans and coached him to supply some misinformation.


All that said, maybe not. If you’d be excited about a proposal soon, but you think your SO might not know that you’re hopeful, this story could be a good conversation starter after the holiday season is over. That is, it might be helpful to gently tell your SO parts of this story (your excitement and subsequent disappointment… maybe not the crying or the part about telling the ladies at work) once the holiday season is over, to communicate what page you’re on in the wait. … or maybe not… I don’t know.

Post # 9
1507 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Peaceoutboyscout:  I don’t really see how he could have meant well. That was a cruel joke, and he did it knowing good and well that his mom wants to be married and that the SO is not proposing.

@Snuggle:  I’m so sorry your son pulled that prank on you guys. And to have to go back and tell everyone “oh nevermind…”. Maybe you can skip that and when Christmas come around, if they ask about it just tell them “well, we talked about it and decided to wait a bit longer?” Makes it less harsh.

Post # 11
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m just saying I don’t think he got this awful evil thought in his head and intentionally set out to hurt mom. But I don’t know the kid. 

Post # 12
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Snuggle:  I 100% think that you are thinking right about not moving in together unless you know you are going to marry this guy (i.e. engaged).  You have your son to think about…and if your son is NOT having these conversations with your Boyfriend or Best Friend (prompted by your Boyfriend or Best Friend of course)…then I think you need to be very very careful that you are not giving your son the wrong impression about your level of confidence as a woman and a mother. 

I don’t know what else to say here and I don’t want to say the wrong thing…but you son didn’t know any better and I don’t know that it’s the best situation for him to see you get upset and cry for an hour because you are not getting a proposal after all. 

I know waiting can be hard enough WITHOUT having kids in the picture…but I think in this case you need to make sure that your relationship with your son comes first and work on doing things that make you happy.  Dating and waiting can be crazy–but you need to be strong that even if your son jokes about this again, that you will not believe it!

…And your biggest wish of getting married should not be your biggest fear.  It should be the thing that will make you completely happy–“those closest to me know this”, does this include your SO?  If so, you are sending him mixed signals about if he should propose or not.

I think that having an honest conversation with him about this is key.  And I also think it’s very important to have a conversation about if your SO wants kids, or if he thinks you are done having kids so that is part of his appeal to being with you.  I think timelines are important–If you don’t want a proposal out of pity just say so but I think it’s important to put it out there that ‘I want to get married one day’ to make sure that the two of you are on the same timeline Smile

Stay strong!  Hang in there! You can do this!!

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