Post # 1
You know those stories that are evebtually funny, but are completely mortifying when they happen. Here is one for you ladies.
My son is what you would call a frequent fibber. I should have known he was messing with me, but as a waiting bee the excitement took hold when he told me my bf was proposing for Christmas. I tried to keep it to myself but I (accidently, lol) told my mom, grandmom, best friend, sister and quite a few ladies at work.
Then Wednesday night when I got home from work my lil man admitted he made it up to mess with me. He didn’t want me to get to Christmas and be upset. Really ugly crying happened and lasted about an hour. My poor son kept saying I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you would be sooooo upset about it. Then I had to tell everyone it was a lie…. :(…
I kind of just want to skip Christmas alltogether now. Which is a super overreaction drama queen type thing. But it’s almost funny and maybe I’ll be able to laugh about it soon.
I almost got faked out on Thanksgiving too when my bf insisted on taking a walk after dinner in the freezing cold. I was like its 10 degrees no thanks, but he kept insisting so my mind was all hmmmmm maybe this is it. Not quite, sometimes a walk in the cold is just a walk in the cold.
Stay tuned for more misadventures of this waiting bee during engagement season. I’ve never been ring shopping and have no timeline so I’m in the waiting camp of wishful thinking here.
Post # 3
@Snuggle: Oh lordy. I’m sure he meant well!! I’m total drama queen too lol so I probably would have reacted the same way. OFF WITH CHRISTMAS’ HEAD! You know what, I’m sure you’re going to be one of those bees who is completely taken by suprise by a proposal.
Keep calm and wait on!
Post # 4
@Snuggle: Ouch… I can see where that would have hurt… hopefully you and your son are ok now (guessing he’s a little guy… and thought it was a fun prank)
Stay tuned for more misadventures of this waiting bee during engagement season. I’ve never been ring shopping and have no timeline so I’m in the waiting camp of wishful thinking here
I read the Waiting Board often, so I’ll be looking out for your future posts… hopefully you’ll have some good news to share soon
As for the last part of your statement… no ring shopping / no timeline
Have you guys at least talked Marriage… have you shared your LIFE PLANS etc ?
That would be first step in getting the process going rather than just hanging your heart on a wish & a prayer.
I say this cause I hate to see a good woman / fellow Bee wasting time on something that she sees as a “Romantic” Relationship and the man sees as a “Fun” one.
Post # 5
@Snuggle: How old is your son? Have you been actively talking about wanting an engagement with him? Does he understand what it all means?
I’m only saying this because I feel like he was told about it, he ruined the surprise, and maybe was ‘coached’ by your SO for him to take it back and say it’s not going to happen?!? Is that a possibility?
Post # 6
@Snuggle: I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I do think it’s possible @veryberry13:
could be right on this one. Maybe your SO found out that your little guy spilled the beans and coached him to supply some misinformation.
All that said, maybe not. If you’d be excited about a proposal soon, but you think your SO might not know that you’re hopeful, this story could be a good conversation starter after the holiday season is over. That is, it might be helpful to gently tell your SO parts of this story (your excitement and subsequent disappointment… maybe not the crying or the part about telling the ladies at work) once the holiday season is over, to communicate what page you’re on in the wait. … or maybe not… I don’t know.
Post # 7
@Peaceoutboyscout: Keep calm and wait on, I love it! Yes and off with Christmas’s head!
Post # 8
@veryberry13: My son is 11. He knows I want to be married because I took it really hard when his father got married and had a baby last year. I have zero desire to ever be with the deadbeat again, but I was really jealous that he was getting everything I want in life when I wasn’t. I wont get into specifics but he is a really bad father and bad person in general who has never done anything for his son except cause grief and sadness. I was really hopeful that him marrying and having a baby would change that but it hasn’t.
Also my son has caught me googling “will he propose?” etc. and seen me on weddingbee. I really want to have a family and everyone who knows me well knows that about me so it is no secret to my son or my bf. Those closest to me also know that even though its my biggest wish it is also my biggest fear. I have a lot of issues I am working out in therapy that resulted from being in an abusive relationship with the above mentioned deadbeat.
I’m 99% sure my son made up the whole thing because when I was ugly crying, you could see it in his face that he knew he hurt me bad and didn’t mean too. Also later that night my bf was over and he knew my son had done something bad and kept commenting on it cause he was playing by himself instead of being attached to my hip as usual. Not very mature, but I told my bf I didn’t want to talk about it. He and my son talked and my son told him what he had done. I went to bed. Thanksgiving went smooth and noone mentioned it.
My bf has been extra nice to me, complimenting me and taking me on a spontaneous date last night. I think he feels bad that the whole thing happened when he has no intentions of proposing right now.
The absolute last thing I want is a proposal that came from pity or pressure. My bf knows where I stand and that I will not move in together, have babies, etc without being married. I am giving until the 2.5 year mark in September before I seriously reevauluate our relationship. I went back to school and wont be graduating until then. I want him to want to marry me and propose on his own.
Post # 9
@Peaceoutboyscout: I don’t really see how he could have meant well. That was a cruel joke, and he did it knowing good and well that his mom wants to be married and that the SO is not proposing.
I’m so sorry your son pulled that prank on you guys. And to have to go back and tell everyone “oh nevermind…”. Maybe you can skip that and when Christmas come around, if they ask about it just tell them “well, we talked about it and decided to wait a bit longer?” Makes it less harsh.
Post # 10
@LeonardLady: Thank you. I already told almost everyone because Christmas is going to be difficult enough this year after that incident without everyone asking about it and looking at my naked finger.
Post # 11
I’m just saying I don’t think he got this awful evil thought in his head and intentionally set out to hurt mom. But I don’t know the kid.
Post # 12
@Snuggle: I 100% think that you are thinking right about not moving in together unless you know you are going to marry this guy (i.e. engaged). You have your son to think about…and if your son is NOT having these conversations with your BF (prompted by your BF of course)…then I think you need to be very very careful that you are not giving your son the wrong impression about your level of confidence as a woman and a mother.
I don’t know what else to say here and I don’t want to say the wrong thing…but you son didn’t know any better and I don’t know that it’s the best situation for him to see you get upset and cry for an hour because you are not getting a proposal after all.
I know waiting can be hard enough WITHOUT having kids in the picture…but I think in this case you need to make sure that your relationship with your son comes first and work on doing things that make you happy. Dating and waiting can be crazy–but you need to be strong that even if your son jokes about this again, that you will not believe it!
…And your biggest wish of getting married should not be your biggest fear. It should be the thing that will make you completely happy–“those closest to me know this”, does this include your SO? If so, you are sending him mixed signals about if he should propose or not.
I think that having an honest conversation with him about this is key. And I also think it’s very important to have a conversation about if your SO wants kids, or if he thinks you are done having kids so that is part of his appeal to being with you. I think timelines are important–If you don’t want a proposal out of pity just say so but I think it’s important to put it out there that ‘I want to get married one day’ to make sure that the two of you are on the same timeline
Stay strong! Hang in there! You can do this!!