Post # 1
My family that is in Canada threw a shower for me in their town on Saturday. It was more of a get together where we bbq’d and drank wine and chatted our faces off in one of their backyards till 1, 3 and 6am for some of us!! It was a fantastic night.
With one exception – I only invited a small few of the second layer of cousins but invited all my Moms 1st cousins and spouses or guests. EXCEPT – one cousins wife. And she was invited to the shower. The cousin passed away a few years ago, and they had sperated beforehand but she is still a member of the family as far as anyone is concerned, she is part of that tier of cousins regardless. Except I forgot to effing invite her. When I was making the lists and checking it twice I went through that family by related cousin and then wife/SO/+1. There are 13 of them, so it’s not like there were 2 and I caught it right away. I even thought about her at work – not one but TWICE. Those thoughts never made it home to my spreadsheet 🙁
She was there on Saturday and I wanted to die – I obviosuly want her at the wedding, she wasn’t not invited, it was a complete oversight because when I went through the cousins because the lovely man she was married to had passed away a few years ago I didn’t have him on the list and therefore not her either.
I called tonight to explain and apologize but got her vmail. I thanked her for coming Saturday and then explained that i was a complete douchbag and of course want her there and her invite is in the mail already and I will call and bother her again tomorrow.
I can’t wait to see what other great big massive pile of poop I create in terms of etiquette with this wedding 🙁
Post # 3
It happens. I felt bad when I forgot to include a couple’s son. He’s over 18, but is disabled and my sister told me to just include him on the parents invitation (it’s her BIL). All there names didn’t fit easily, and I meant to back and add his and completely forgot.
Luckily, they asked my sister if he was invited.
Post # 4
This happened to me as well. I’m like 10 days away from my wedding and I’m still remembering people I forgot to send invitations to. Don’t be too hard on yourself, it happens to a lot of us! I hope everything turns out well for you
Post # 5
We heard that Fiance uncle isn’t coming because his cousin didn’t get an invite. FI has A LOT of cousins. It sounds like you handled it well and can be something you’ll both laugh about later.
Post # 6
It happens. I forgot to invite one of my cousins. He’s over 18 and lives part time with his mom (hes my aunts husbands’s kid from his first marriage but has been my cousin since he was 2 and the only non-blood cousin i have) so I intended to send him a separate invite to his house but then decided 18 year old guys don’t care about being invited on their own fancy invite and was just going to add him to the invite. But I forgot to do either… And then got an email from Mu mom saying my aunt was wondering if I purposely left him off because we’re not blood cousins. Totally mortified.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies!! While it sucks it’s also happened to you it does make me feel like brain overlaod is possible and these things do happen.
As Saphire said though – it is totally mortifying…seeing her in person and realizing just made me want to vomit right then and there. Which would have just made it way worse I’m sure lol!
Post # 8
These things happen – people slip through the cracks, all you can do is make your best effort to remedy the oversight.
I had something similar happen last week when the R.s.v.ps were coming back. We invited a branch of my mom’s cousins who I don’t know all that well (but we are the kind of family that does that – we stay in touch by extending invitations to weddings, and a few people from each branch usually do manage to attend.) A couple of years ago my mom and I had gone to one of their weddings … ours is a child-friendly wedding, and so I made sure to include people’s kids on the invitations. After the fact, though, I discovered that I’d missed the kids of two of my second cousins. Extra embarrassing because I had remembered to include the children of some of their siblings … so, I wrote to both of the second cousins to apologize and reassure them that, yes, their kids were also included and please just let me know if we need to add them to the list. My bad. *le sigh*
I’m sure she will be fine, and happy to be included!
Post # 9
I’m sure everything will be fine! We all have guests who slip through the cracks. I forgot to invite the church organist (also a family friend.) I sent them a save the date, and had been emailing back and forth with him about the music for the ceremony, but for some reason he was not on the master list when invites went out, and I didn’t even realize it until after the response deadline! I felt AWFUL.
Post # 10
It’s okay – you just made a mistake. You’ve done all you can to fix it.
Post # 11
Oh don’t feel bad. It happens.
I forgot to send an invitation to Mother-In-Law. Clearly she’s coming, but I just totally overlooked it on the address list. Whoops!