(Closed) It is what it is….

posted 8 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh sweetie – this is SO normal. 

I had some doubts about marrying again.  But I love my Fiance to pieces.  He makes me so happy and we are so good for each other.  I decided to get married because living without him scared me way more than te idea of marrying him.  Make sense?

You are mourning what you *thought* you had in your previous marrige. It’s a very natural thing to feel as you approach a new wedding ceremony.  You start re-examining where you were, where you are, and where you are going.

You’re probably feeling “I’ve been here before and look what happened!”  Maybe you are a little worried history will repeat itself. 

But you said it yourself – your Fiance loves you like you were meant to be loved.  That sounds to me like a woman who found what she was looking for and didn’t get the first time around. 

Just acknowledge your feelings of loss and recognize the feelings for what they are.  Then move on to a much happier life with a man who loves you and who you love.


Post # 4
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@sonomagal: Well said!!!


@nannydeprivedmama: First of all, you are SOOOO not alone in how you feel. I think so many of us have these same feelings. It’s scary…exciting…but scary none-the-less. I don’t have small children…mine are all grown (27, 25, 23) but it doesn’t change things that much. When I divorced their father after 25 years of marriage, I told everybody I would never marry again! I even swore I wouldn’t even date for at least a year. I think that’s why it caught everyone by surprise when I started dating my Fiance just 5 short weeks later. Trust me…no one was more surprised than me! It just happened. We met and before I knew what happened, I was completely captivated. He talked to me the way my ex never had. He looked me in the eye and when I talked to him, I KNEW I had his full attention. It actually kinda freaked me out the first time we went to a restaurant together and he never once looked at another woman in the place. I had his complete, undivided attention. I cannot even tell you how many years it had been since that had happened with the ex…or if it ever happened! So yeah…dating, falling in love and getting married again was no where in my plans but, like everything else in life, I firmly beleive everything happens for a reason and Fiance was brought into my life. Now I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with him. I am scared to death to take those vows and I am terrified of being hurt again…BUT…like sonomagal said “living without him scares me way more than te idea of marrying him”.

I wish you so much joy and happiness in your new marriage and you are right…even though your children may not see their “mother and father” together, they WILL see their “mom and dad”…two people who love each other and share a happy, healthy relationship. Knowing that you are raising your children in a loving, caring and supportive environment is a huge blessing in itself. Good luck to you and your family!!! <<<hugs>>>

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