(Closed) It just hit me!!! Has anyone felt like this before?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wait. No male Facebook friends? What’s his reasoning for that? That seems kind of controlling. And why can’t you go out anymore? You’ve got girlfriends, I assume. Does he expect you to not occasionally go out to a club or party with your girls now that you’re getting married?

Getting married doesn’t mean all the fun has to stop. Are you okay with these things? If you are, then please disregard everything I’ve said. I just know that if my Fiance wanted me to get rid of all my male Facebook friends and not go out and have fun anymore, we’d have a serious problem.

Post # 4
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@HeyKaraoke:  100% agree

Post # 5
Member
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

..Yeah, what’s that about no male Facebook friends? That sounds silly. A healthy relationship does not dictate who the other is friends with.

But, yes, I have too felt this way. I think it’s very common. I cannot believe I’m getting married in less than 3 months.

Post # 6
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Wait… no male facebook friends?

Also, if you go out now while you’re dating, why would you not be able to do that after you’re married? Getting married doesn’t mean your life ends…

If my Fiance was expecting those things, I think I’d be extremely anxious, too! When we get married we will be moving in together, combining finances, and starting a life together- but that doesn’t mean we are going to make each other stop doing the things that we’ve always enjoyed!

Maybe you should talk with your Fiance about why you’re apprehensive… it seems very strange that you’re going to be so limited once your relationship becomes ‘legal’.

Post # 7
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@S2013:  Well… I agree, within limits. XD

If there was a history of infidelity, or if an husband kept up a friendship with an ex and that made the wife uncomfortable, I think the wife comes first and he should respect her feelings.

But I would think it was very strange if the wife told her husband that he couldn’t have any female facebook friends. (Unless maybe she had previously caught him looking for hookups via Facebook or something… in which case… I think there are bigger issues.)

Post # 8
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What the what?

Why no male FB friends?? That is controlling and ridiculous. No wonder you are feeling anxiety. It might be your gut telling you something.

Post # 10
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

@bimmy:  Wtf? Facebook?! I can’t wrap my head around that!

 

ETA: Wait, you can have male FB friends now, but not while married? What changes?

Post # 12
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@bimmy:  I would not take that too seriously (re the male FB friends comments) they may have meant it in a light hearted or joking fashion, and even if they meant it, is that grounds for having no friends of the opposite sex? Heck no!

Don’t isolate yourself, just because of a harmless comment or two!

Post # 15
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bimmy: Ohhh, okay. Thanks for clarifying, I was a bit worried there. I think that if you are no longer comfortable having those particular guys as your Facebook friends, then they should definitely go. But I still don’t see why that has to apply to all your guy friends…? But as long as you’re cool with that, then I don’t see a problem. My worries were mainly that he wanted you to do this against your will, and that wouldn’t be cool. Glad to hear otherwise 🙂

And I totally get how becoming a mom really impacts the party life. (I have a four-year-old.) So I see what you mean about not being able to go out or party. But I’ve learned something really important since becoming a mom: every parent, no matter how happy they are with being a mom/dad, needs a break sometimes. And there’s nothing wrong with you having an occasional hour or two away from hubby and baby. I used to take one day each month and go to the bookstore and just sit and read and relax for hours. Or shut myself in the bedroom and take a nap, lol. Being a parent is great, but it’s also stressful, and that little bit of “you” time really helps you feel recharged 🙂

I just realized I never answered your original question! Yes, sometimes I’ve looked at Fiance and it’s hit me like a ton of bricks that WHOA, HE’S THE ONE. My partner and my lover and my future. For the rest of my life. It is hugely overwhelming and a little bit nerve-wracking, but mostly it’s just awesome 😀

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