- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
FH and I have been together 2 years, engaged for 5 months. We don’t live together, we’re both in college, I’m unemployed (still actively looking after 1.5 years), he works.
I just want to get things off my chest. I’ve tried to be really understanding and not say anything but I just have to rant/vent right now.
FH has a pretty crappy job in retail. He’s worked with the company 5 years and makes around $16,000 a year. When we got engaged I knew there probably wouldn’t be a ring but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t a little disappointed when I didn’t get one. For a while now, I’ve been doing all kind of research on non diamond stones and moissanite trying to help ease the effect on his wallet when we acually do purchase a ring. We looked at sapphire, but he insisted that I have a colorless stone, so we looked at moissanite. He picked 2 rings out that he liked and that he thought I liked and he started saving. Last month, he had $400 saved for the $700 ring that I liked. Then, he needed new tires. Then his truck door got jammed and wouldn’t open. $400 gone in a matter of weeks. He’s been trying to save for an engagement ring for quite some time now (since around 1.2 years into the relationship), but this was the closest we’d ever come to having enough. Every time he saves any kind of money, something goes wrong.
It’s life, it happens, and I know that. But I’m still frustrated.
I spoke to my mother about all of the issues that we’ve had hoping for a little confidence boost, only to get nothing. Mom said that maybe we’re just not supposed to get married. Trying to lighten the mood I joked with her about getting one of her diamonds. Mom then added that she might give me one if she knew that my relationship would last… Gee, thanks.
By this point, I am more than depressed. I’m already sick. I needed something to make me feel a little hopeful. I checked the websites of a few local jewelers, but even with Valentine’s Day sales, it would take too long to save up to buy.
So, my FH came to visit me yesterday and to try and make me feel better, we looked at rings, in Walmart. I don’t really trust Walmart with the quality of anything, but it made me happy that he was at least trying. So, I got to looking at the selection, but within 5 or so minutes, FH was done. We window shopped a bit, but he never stuck around. I walked around and looked in the shop windows by myself most of the time.
When we got home I asked him if he’d like to try looking online for a bit and he told me that he really didn’t care about looking at rings.
I know men don’t really enjoy looking at jewelery, but this is something that’s a little important to me. It was just the last straw really. I was already upset. I wasn’t feeling well, and then FH tells me that he doesn’t really care.
I’m sorry, I went off topic a bit there.
Anyway. He’s never been able to save any money. He pays for everything (including all school fees) out of pocket. He doesn’t have a credit card. No credit at all… so buying online is kind of difficult. Buying on credit is also impossible unless I paid for it myself. The my mom pretty much telling me that my relationship is never going to work out because FH is poor and has outdated views and FH telling me he doesn’t care just set me over the edge yesterday.
My mom just sending me an email about a girl that I grew up with getting engaged last week didn’t help. She probably could have left out all of the fawning over him and how I should have picked a man like that because he “had enough money to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring”… Really? Thanks mom.
I’m trying to be positive and hold my head up, but sometimes it’s really, really difficult to when all these negative things/people put in their two cents…