Post # 1
(((SELFISH BEE ALERT)))
Recently I thought I was for sure pregnant (I had all the signs, but it was just my body playing tricks)…now it seems everyone around me is going to have a baby and it tears me up. It seems like they didn’t have any trouble conceiving…but of course I wouldn’t know that. I’m happy for their good fortune, but it still makes me jealous. I’ve stopped reading baby boards and anything about TTC…I can’t even watch movies where they get pregnant. Has anyone else gone through anything like this?
I have absolutely no one to talk to (my Darling Husband isn’t the best at giving advice) and I don’t want to tell anyone in our families that we’re TTC b/c it would add more pressure. My Husband and i have been TTC for the past 4 months…but I have really irregular periods, I’ve only had 2 since september. It’s not abnormal for women in my family to not have an AF for 60+ and it makes this process even harder. I’m going to start taking Fertilaide to regulate my periods and to make me ovulate after seeing my doctor, but I still feel like it’ll never happen. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself, this is mostly a vent. I feel like a terrible person for being jealous of Bee’s and not wanting to hear that they’re pregnant! I just wanted to know if any of you went through the same feelings I’m having while TTC.
Post # 3
Have you considered going to a doctor? It might be hard for you to know when to try and conceive when your period is so irregular.
Good luck, I’m sure that good things will happen for you!
Post # 4
Oh, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling and feeling sad about it. I get jealous too – it’s a natural feeling and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. I allow myself to have that twinge of jealousy and then I move on and feel happy for the person. I KNOW that it’ll be my husband and me very soon!
Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It is incredibly helpful – I think especially if you don’t have a regular cycle.
Depending on how old you are…if you’re 35 or older, you should see your doctor after TTC for 6 months without a pregnancy. If you’re under 35, after a year you should go talk to your doctor.
Post # 5
Sweetie, It will happen when it’s supposed to. I see you are already about to see an M.D. and this is good. But just relax and enjoy your life! Jealousy is natural, as long as you overcome it and move on to happiness for the other people, you’ll be just fine. If, God forbid, it doesn’t happen, there are still many other options out there for you to raise a family. There are so many children already here that have no one to love them or care for them. Count your blessings and you will see, life is beautiful. Good luck with the conception and have fun practicing
Post # 6
Can you reframe things a little bit and get excited about getting your cycle regular first and foremost? That way instead of seeing each step as an impediment, you actually feel like you are achieving goals toward your dream outcome? Every journey starts with just one step and it sounds like you are doing all the right things to get there!
And of course feel free to vent anytime 🙂
Post # 7
Thank you so much for your kind words, they make this a lot easier for me. My husband and I will definitly adopt if we’re unable to conceive.
@Mrs. DG: I’ve been doing just that, I think having an AF after each month will be a great thing…at least I’ll know if I’m pregnant after the normal 2 weeks not a couple months.
Post # 9
I’m sorry this is difficult for you. I agree that even seeing a doctor to help develop a course of action may make you feel better!
Post # 10
I’m sorry you are having such a crummy time. *hugs*
Post # 11
Don’t feel bad for being jealous. We all get that way! At least you can vent here.
There are 2 babies threads that you should definitely still read:
The TTC and Still Going List How Many Months? (for those of us that it didn’t magically work on the first try)
How Many of Us Are Using Fertility Medications? (frequently updated day-to-day support for bees struggling with fertility)
Post # 12
@JewishBride: Hey. I feel the EXACT same way as you. I am ttc after a miscarraige. Its been about 6 months since we’ve been ttc. Last month I thought for sure I was prego but I guess my body likes messing with my head. If you’re like me, you get very jealous at people that can get pregnant so easy. But I think this “jealousy” just roots from sadness and not envy. I wish I could give you words to comfort you but i cant because im in the same boat as you. I have began to become withdrawn a little bit. Im just not as happy anymore. I feel like Im worthless at times. My FH listens to me nag about it sometimes, but other times he’s like “ok thats why its not happening cause you keep stressing about it!” To me its like a catch 22. I mean, how can i help not stressing when i fail month after month?! Everyday I get reminded of my failure when i go to work to be around TWO coworkers that are pregnant. Ugh it justmakes me want to scream! So i guess all i can say is good luck to both of us and all those who are ttc.
Post # 13
And don’t feel bad
I mean..I feel bad! haha! and I am really not joking…I actually feel some guilt that it worked so fast.
Nothing that we feel is “wrong”. It is ok and it doesn’t make you a bad person at all.
Also…I think you have every right to hope when it’s only been 4months. They say that 80% of couples get pregnant in a year…and that means that for many…it can take the whole year.
I know I am not really one to talk right now…. but don’t feel bad about how you feel and I am sorry if I made you feel worse today. Thanks for being so supportive on my thread when you are going thru your own struggles.
Post # 14
@spraguebride: I am so happy for you and you deserve this miracle. Don’t feel bad…I can’t wait to feel the pure joy a woman feels when she’s pregnant. A thousand more congrats! I think that since I’m having a hard time (emotionally) TTC it’ll make me even happier and blessed when my BFP does come.
@karmalkween: I hate it when my Darling Husband says not to stress about it too. How can I NOT? i’ve always been afraid of not being able to have children and I don’t want it to become a reality! It must be hard for you to go to work:( I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife so it’s easier for me to not be jealous.
Thank you again for all your support. I’ll definitly check out those threads:)
Post # 15
@JewishBride: I completely understand how you are feeling and it is very normal. On our 11 mth trying with fertility meds. It does seem like everyone around is popping up pregnant and it does eat at you.
I will say though, especially in my situation and what I hear from others in my same position; hearing comments “it will happen when it is suppose to” or “stressing about it is why it is not happening”, is about the worst thing you could say to someone TTC. I know some say it for comfort and help, but honestly, you can never really know someones situation and deep feelings. We all know the stats, but it doesn’t make it any easier to understand. I am sorry, but I hate these comments more than anything.
Post # 16
@MissGreen: I second that!