It seems trivial, but I need facebook ex-friending advice lol

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

brittneyknows :  I know if I were you, I’d be inclined to add him if things ended on good terms.  I have many of my ex’s on Facebook.  I know, I know – the horror!  We meant a lot to each other at one time and have moved on, it’s nice to see they’re doing well.

My only concern for you is that I don’t know the circumstances of your break up, but it’s really easy to romanticize ex’s after the fact.  Just beware you aren’t doing that too much!

Post # 17
Member
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Add him. and then come back and update us with the results. I’m curious now, too!

You sound like you’re in a great place and can handle whatever the results are.

Post # 18
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you ended things on good terms, I would add him. Maybe he’ll come back into your life as a friend. That’s not so bad either if you can deal with it.

For what it’s worth, I’ve been in a similar situation and I’m still friends with the guy. Not close friends, because I’ve tried to keep some distance to respect his decision, but we do still care what happens in each other’s life.

Would it have worked out if we tried to reconnect romantically? I doubt it. We’re certainly older and wiser, but there were reasons why we could not stay together even though we cared about each other. And besides, we’ve both found our soulmates, so I suppose we weren’t meant to stay with each other anyway 🙂

Post # 19
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Like a couple of the PP’s, I too am friends with a select few of my exes– the ones I was able to end things with on good terms.  I’ve found that I’m now able to enjoy their happiness, even if getting past the breakup and seeing their first new relationship was difficult.  Years out, it’s nice to know they’re doing well.  I didn’t invest months of my life into getting to know them just to feign hating them years down the road!  🙂

Post # 21
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

brittneyknows :  heheh. But I kind of am. Especially while sick and bored at home the last couple days.   I’m probably as bad if not worse at hoping more comes of this. Even if we all know and logically suggest not being invested unless he shows interest, too 😉

And again-I really wouldn’t worry about facebook. Honestly in my experience, people who don’t post every detail are a little more intriguing. And people notice when they do share something. And people who prefer to communicate more directly (especially calls) are usually people you’ll have deeper friendships with. 

But social media aside- if his page makes you reflect on your life and if there are things you wish you were doing like travels and parties, etc, then think of this as inspiration for getting out and doing life more for yourself – not just waiting for the right life partner to come around first, if that’s what you might be doing…

Post # 22
Member
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You are very much not over him, and frankly that is concerning.  It has been 4 years.  You are still worried about falling for him and hoping for something more.  “The one who got away” is bogus.  Things ended for a reason and this is not the only man who you could build a happy life with.

In addition, you wrapped up him being the “best friend you ever had” with this relationship.  I see a lot of people do that…”I’m dating my best friend!”…and then when the relationship ends it makes it that much more heartbreaking.  Of course friendship is important in a relationship, however putting the role of “best friend” with the role of “significant other” is dangerous.  I mean just think…you have not talked to this man in YEARS and now you’re putting all this stock in one Facebook request.

Ignore the Facebook request and continue to move on with your life.  In fact I would even consider therapy because you are still holding onto this realtionship that ended 4 years ago.  That is why you are having no luck dating right now, you are still holding onto the past.

Post # 23
Member
4253 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

brittneyknows :  It doesn’t sound like that was the right choice, to be honest.  You feel like someone punched you in the gut just because he has a lot more things on his social media than you?  Leave this guy in the past, for good.

Post # 24
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Send him a flirty fb message and see if it goes anywhere… Do it soon! If you wait too long it will be weird. 

Then either pick up a relationship… Or more likely, unfriend him and date someone else. But all this anxiety is unhealthy. It’s healthy to be brave and get over things do you have nothing to lose. 

best! 

 

 

 

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