- 4 years ago
so, i’ve been sort of stalking this website for a few months now. i love all things wedding, and being surrounded by friends & family who have been tying the knot and starting families the past few years, waiting to start planning my own wedding has been really difficult! my boyfriend & i have been dating for 4.5 years, living together for 2. he’s an amazingly thoughtful, sweet, hardworking, honest guy and we have a really good thing going. i’ve been reminding him of that for the past 2 years, and while we’ve talked about marriage and kids and a future, he’s always been weird about the marriage thing. when we started dating, he said he wasn’t interested in ever getting married. each year we move (as slow as molasses) to him being more and more “ready.” we talk about kids (there’s an 11 year age gap, so the talk is mostly “are we having kids before you retire?”) and starting our lives, and he has said he wants to marry me, and would always stick in the “someday.” we even went ring shopping last year, have made guest lists just to talk about pricing, etc. but when it comes to me saying “ok, now WHEN” it’s always “soon”.
needless to say i was at my wit’s end. the past few weeks i’ve been more distant with him, on top of being busy at work and traveling, and have finally decided it might be time to face the music that it might actually not happen. as amazing as he is, and as good as we are for eachother, i really didn’t think it was going to happen and at 28, need to move on with my life. i’ve been mentally preparing myself (and searching for dog-friendly apartments for me and “our” dog) and talking to friends and family, who half agreed.
i came back from a work trip this past week and apparently my “distance” has been showing, and we got into an argument this weekend over why i’ve been so annoyed with him, haven’t wanted to be close, etc. i finally blurted out (like i have many times before) that i was done. sick of waiting for something that didn’t seem to be happening, and am probably going to move out. he immediately left the room and said “wait here.” i literally thought he was going to just propose at that minute – to shut me up – and almost died. i started yelling at him to “not do anything he would regret.” instead of a ring, he produced a bag of the cash he had been saving for the past 2 years for my ring. crying. to say i was floored was an understatement. he told me he had been saving, was almost at the point of being able to buy one of the 2 rings we picked out together, and was going to be asking for my parent’s permission on easter. i couldn’t believe it! he was mad at me for pushing him to ruin the surprise, and i was mad at him for his lack of communication. we cried together- kinda like in the movies, except not as pretty. while i told him i didnt care about the ring (which is a lie, but i care about him and i getting married WAY more) and he could get me whatever he could afford right now, he told me to just back off, he was taking care of things and wanted to get me what i wanted. turns out he had too much pride to say he didn’t have the money for an engagement ring all along – and was working on it, hence the “someday.” the word is now banned from our vocabulary (i kept telling him this isn’t a disney fairytale!) and i’m officially banning myself from talking about getting married.
but i can’t not talk about it, so i guess i’ll officially join the bee, as a waiting girl!
sorry for the long post, just had to get it off my chest