The last three days have been an emotional roller coaster. And although my head is beset with heavy thoughts and swollen eyes I want to immortalize my experiences here with you.
The good news or the bad news first?
The good news is that I am now engaged! It happened on Sunday and I will share the full story in a bit.
But the bad news. So we were engaged on Sunday, over the moon with happiness, bouncing up and down and smiles so big I’m surprised my face hadn’t cracked every time I walked past a mirror and flashed my ring at myself. Monday was a great day at work, and we hadn’t told our families yet, we wanted to tell them in person. Monday night, we get home, making pizza and my kitty, my little boy I’ve had for 11 years, who has always been healthy and playful, and warmed our laps and took care of my then boyfriend (now fiance!) when he was at home struggling with after effects of chemo and surgeries when I was at work and couldn’t comfort him myself… My little cat got very, very sick. We rushed him to the vet and he made it through the night, getting a plasma transfusion and fluids and just holding on. The vet thinks it was acute pancreatitis and it came on very suddenly. But by morning my little kitty wasn’t doing well, he wasn’t clotting or maintaining body temp and all sorts of other horrible things and we made the decision to put him to sleep.
Last night my Fiance and I had a very nice cat funeral but we are both taking it very hard. And my other cat, the boy’s sister, is lonely and scared and I hope she’ll do okay on her own.
My Fiance and I do not have a lot of money and I just spent over a thousand dollars trying to save my cat’s life. That money was going to be for the wedding. But I’m sure I’ll figure something out. My little boy was worth it.
And we still haven’t told our families or most of our friends about our excitement and there is this awkwardness in telling people in one breath that our cat died and we’re engaged.
But such is life.
On to the happiness.
I had been waiting for what seemed like forever for my Fiance to propose. I knew he was having a ring custom made and it was taking a long time. A couple of weeks ago I was told it would be done in three weeks, so I was counting down the days to this coming weekend, the 21st. I didn’t think my Fiance would be able to surprise me with a proposal since I thought I knew when the ring was coming.
I had a rough waiting weekend on Friday and Saturday and asked Fiance to plan something nice for us to do on Sunday because I had been feeling grouchy. We had had plans on Saturday but I decided not to go because I was feeling so down. When Fiance found out we weren’t going he said he had to go run some errands. I don’t think I had ever heard him use the word “errands” ever, and asked him what “errands” he had to run. He gave me a good story and I thought nothing more of it.
Sunday morning he told me we were going to go to the International Crane Foundation (a place we loooove) and he asked if I wanted to pack a picnic to bring along. I said sure and we made some sandwiches and whatnot.
We took the long way to get there, driving down country roads and it was a beautiful day. Big blue skies. He drove us to one of our favorite ways to go north in our state. It is a ferry that runs for part of the year that crosses a river. There are faster ways to cross the river but the ferry is really nice and we enjoy taking the time to appreciate it.
Once on the ferry we got out of the car and headed to the side to take in the view. FI started asking me if I enjoyed taking the ferry with him and I said yes. And he started talking about how a ferry ride is like our relationship. How it is like a bridge from one place to another but more exciting and unsure than a bridge. Knowing that we’ll get to the other side but not knowing when that will happen, but trusting that we will get there. And about taking the road less traveled and appreciating the view. Then he said “steel m. frame” and got down on his knee “will you marry me?” I was crying and in shock and then finally got out a “yes, of course!” and we kissed and a family near us was smiling. The next thing out of my mouth was “I think I’m dreaming” and then I said “Put that ring on my finger!” and Fiance told me “go sit down so I don’t drop it in the water!”
I sat in the car and he put the ring on my finger. It is beautiful! And perfect and so happy I waited! It is a green sapphire that he hand selected in a rose gold band designed with Andy Goldsworthy in mind (he’s an amazing artist who works with nature).
Then it was time to get off the ferry and we drove to a little spot near the water. He said let’s picnic! I grabbed the basket we had made and he said “Tricked you! Here’s the real picnic!” and he had prepacked a picnic lunch of brie and baguette, wine and figs. We sat by the river and I made him tell me everything about designing the ring and planning the proposal and it was a lovely, lovely
time. We spent the rest of the day at the crane foundation and then drinks with friends and I am soooooo excited!
Thanks for letting me share my stories. I had been looking forward to telling my bees about it all.
I promise ring porn in the very near future. With my cat’s death I haven’t had much time to think about it.
I do have a quick glimpse of the ring and of the picnic.