(Closed) "It will happen as soon as you relax". Do you believe this?

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@foodnerd81: Yup, this. 

I’m sure there really are people who get fed up with TTC, and as soon as they toss out the charts and thermometers and OPKs and go “relax” on a cruise, BAM, pregnant.  That makes a great story, so those are the people you hear from.

There are also plenty of people who get pregnant after 4-6-8-10 months of monitoring body temperatures and cervical mucus and scheduling sex during their fertile window.  But those aren’t the people you hear from because those stories just aren’t that romantic.

Post # 18
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Kinda, but not really.  I got my BFP after a very stressful month.  But then again, I have a friend who got a BFP after she finally started to “relax”.

I will say this though, last month I drank grapefruit juice every day… I took mucinex leading up to O… and FF said our BD timing was “good”……….  And although it was a very stressful month for me and DH, we got a BFP at the end of it. 

Post # 19
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Sea_bass:  LOL. My mother in law said this exact thing to me.  When they were trying for my DH. It took them years on and off fertility meds in the 70’s one MC and one night on New Years Eve they went out, had a few drinks and danced and lo and behold my DH is here today. Ha if only it were so easy. But they were not on meds so who knows.

I don’t know the answer to this. Of course no stress is best, but I think relaxing can be impossible, I am trying it right now and it is kind of working, I have some other agendas at the moment so if I don’t get my BFP in the next two cycles I will be fine with that. If i do get it wonderful all the better. If I don’t get it before Dec. I will be bringing out the big guns and it is safe to say I will NOT be relaxed about it. I wasn’t relaxed about it 2 months ago either and I still got that BFP with massive stress to my poor DH and me which was honestly no fun at all.

Post # 20
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@kelly105:  Funny – grapefruit juice is supposed to contradict with many meds haha lucky.

Post # 21
Member
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think that there is SOMETHING to not being a total stressed mess about it, because people who aren’t charting or whatever don’t have that intense “I should have done this this and this on these days, but not on those and OMG this was wrong” and all that, so the “relaxed” people just don’t notice all the things that should or could have been so it seems more surprising when they do end up pregant. But there are also lots of people that if they don’t make a dedicated effort to try aren’t going to just have it happen because they “relax”. Everyone is different, their body and how they cope with what their body is doing.

@canarydiamond:  I was with you! I had no idea all these things even existed until the bee!! I just hope I can be one of those “stop bc and get pregnant in less than  3 or 4 months” people cause I’m not sure my psyche could deal with all the planning and things some of you ladies do. Super impressed! 

Post # 22
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, I don’t believe it. People get pregnant because a sperm reaches an egg and it implants, not because they are “relaxed”. Also, just because someone plans, and someone wants a baby really badly, does not mean that is what is prohibiting them from having one. Obsess or don’t obsess, it has nothing to do with your odds of conception.

Post # 23
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I think its true!! We tried for 3 years, went to see a fetility specialist and afyer many tests discovered i diddnt realease eggs thefore couldnt get pregnant naturally. I was booke in for an appointment to see the doctor 3 weeks later for him to discuss and prescribe clomid, diddnt ever get to that appointment i was 2-3 weeks pregnant at that point. And i think its totally down to the fact i stopped stressing there was nO pressure and i was just realxed and enjoying myself, as opposed to legs up 30 minutes, fingers crossed, pregnant! Hope this helps xx

Post # 24
Member
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@canarydiamond:  I knew nothing about the intricacies of TTC before hanging out here, either, and I’m still trying to learn all the lingo so I can follow along with people better.

I still think there are plenty of couples for whom TTC = regular, unprotected sex, and that’s all they do.  We just aren’t really going to hear from them on TTC discussion boards because, well, there just isn’t much to discuss when you’re taking that approach.

Post # 25
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Not at all! I don’t believe that relaxing hurts or helps fertility. Stress does not effect your body until you reach the point where your sleep and eating habits are being altered. But at the same time worrying about it won’t make you pregnant, hence the reason why I think people say that stupid line.

Post # 26
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

NO.. and i hate when people say that. 

Post # 27
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@canarydiamond:  see, but it is offensive. to me, at least.

respectfully– i’m pretty sure that right now you have no idea what you would do or how you would feel after OVER A YEAR (as you yourself stated was the  ‘acceptable’ benchmark of worry) of trying to get pregnant.

I’m glad that you think you would only start to worry after OVER A YEAR.

check back with me when you’re trying to conceive and let me know if the worry hits at all before it’s been OVER A YEAR.

 

Post # 28
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I hate it when people say this to me!!!!  TTC is probably one of the hardest times in a woman’s life, especially when you are not one of the lucky ones who gets knocked up on the first month!  Telling me to “relax” is like telling a woman who really wants to be married to stop looking and then she’ll find Mr. Right.  I am a huge believer in that you have to make things happen in your life.  If the relax thing works for you, that’s great.  For me, I thrive in knowing that I have a plan.  TTC is something that you cannot control, but you can have a plan to nagivate it. 

Post # 29
Member
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can see the point about being overly focused in it to some extent. But, my husband and I through this process have learned a whole plethora of legitimate medical issues.  diagnosed through ultrasounds, charting, bloodwork etc.  So at this point when people say “just relax and it will happen” I kinda liken it to someone walking into an ER thinking they have a broken leg and being advised to “just relax”.  You could be wrong and it’s perfectly fine, it might be broken and it’ll just heal up perfectly on its own, or you might end up with a bum leg for life. But at this point I think giving due attention to both issues is probably best practice. 

Post # 30
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i think that stress produces hormones that can interfere with proper implantation. just as adrenalin is bad during child labor because of the hormones it releases. of course it doesnt mean you cant get pregnant. i say have fun but make sure to have sex about every other day-thats what I am doing. more than that and i wouldnt get sleep-and you need to be rested for your body to properly function. i have been taking my temperature to detect ovulation and no longer believe that the same rules apply to everyone because my temperature goes up and down all the time, i dont have good circulation, etc.

Post # 31
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Sallyfly27:  wow – that’s an amazing story – congrats to you and your hubby!!

I guess the main problem about all of this, for me at least, is how do you “just relax” when you’ve decided you want something so big, so very much?? I’ve definitely tried to curb my obsessive thinking, but I can’t help but think about it multiple times a day. For me, the only way I could ‘just relax’ would be to stop wanting it so much… and that’s just not going to happen any time soon.

Lots of PPs have made interesting comments above – I do think that there are LOTS of women out there who get pregnant very easily and so never turn up on TTC boards. You just have to compare the pregnancy boards with the TTC boards to see that. And yes, stories about ‘we just relaxed and it happened’ or ‘we only tried once’ are MUCH more likely to be told than ‘we charted, and saw doctors, and…’ because they are more romantic and much less taboo.

And to those who aren’t TTC yet… a year is a VERY long time when you’ve decided you’re ready to start trying (esp. after waiting for hubby to be ready for 2 years before that), and friends are announcing pregnancies, growing bellies, and giving birth while you’re still staring at blank tests. Hell, 5 months is a long time while going through that. We all hope nobody else has to do that 🙂

The topic ‘"It will happen as soon as you relax". Do you believe this?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors