Here is another thought…
When you say the Groom’s Family are paying… a lot will depend on WHAT items they are covering.
Under traditional Guidelines… there is a list of things that side usually would take care of / be responsible for (be it the Groom or his family helping him), BUT still the Bride’s Family is considered the Hosts (maybe that is what your Dad is getting at with his comments)
The Traditional Groom & His Family List is as follows… (I’m copying it here from another WBee topic that discussed this more in length) = http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/grooms-parents-to-pay-for
And again, this info is from the Post Institute of Etiquette… Emily and her decendants.
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– Bride’s Engagement Ring & Wedding Ring
– Groom’s Present to the Bride (optional)
– Gifts for the Groom’s Attendants
– Boutonnieres for the Groom’s Attendants
– Ties (and Gloves if required) for the Groom’s Attendants (if not part of the Clothing Rental Fee)
– Bride’s Bouquet
– Bride’s Going Away Corsage
– Corsages for Immediate Family Members (ie MOB, MOG, GrandMothers, etc)
– Officiant Fee
– Transportation and Lodging Fees for an Out-of-Town Officiant (if required)
– Marriage License
– Transportation for the Groom & Best Man to the Wedding Ceremony
– Honeymoon Expenses
– Bachelor Dinner (if he wishes to have one with his Attendants)
– Accommodations for Groom’s Attendants
– Transportation & Lodging for Groom’s Parents **
GROOM’S PARENTS EXPENSES
– Rehearsal Dinner
** NOTE – Groom or Groom’s Parents can pay for their own lodging… and those of the immediate family (ie Brothers, Sisters, GrandParents) if they so wish. Accommodations really is a flexible option
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So as you can see the bulk of these expenses are the responsiblity of your Groom. ONLY the Rehearsal Dinner is traditionally the Groom’s Family’s responsibility… and well quite frankly you won’t be discussing that aspect until well along into the Wedding Plans. In most cases, a Groom’s Family will indeed step-up-to-the-plate for that… be it a meal hosted at a local Restaurant, or something they put on at the Church Hall (with the help of the Church Ladies)… or is held at their home with eats they’ve made. ALL are acceptable alternatives (they don’t have to be to your taste… just theirs and their budget as they are the Hosts)
PS… Reception Alcohol “traditionally” falls under the category of Reception Expenses that the Bride’s Family would cover. Although it can be handled differently regionally… which is also WHY you’ll see Brides on WBee making inquiries about OPEN BARS – CASH BARS – WHITE BARS – etc. If the Brides Parents and the B&G or Groom’s Family disagree on Alcohol (either consumption options or payment options)… then there are alternatives.
PPS… My info above is as per TRADITIONAL RULES OF ETIQUETTE (as you brought that up initially)… as the other Bees have said, there are many other arrangements made these days when hosting a wedding and who pays. You can go with whatever works for all of you.
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Hope this helps,