Post # 1
I’m about 8 1/2 months, but we just had a gender reveal shower where we found out that it’s a boy!
I didn’t realize I had a gender preference and I’m still not sure that I really do, but all of a sudden, I’m kind of apprehensive at the idea of having a boy. Please don’t jump on me for this, but it was really weird–before knowing what the gender was, I felt sort of “close” to my baby, like it was my sidekick, even though I didn’t conceptualize the baby as EITHER gender. But since finding out, I feel…I’m not sure how to describe it, like the pregnancy has somehow become conceptual and abstract and not real? Despite the fact that I’m pretty sure this is a bit nuts, I literally worry that I won’t love my own child 🙁
Maybe it’s because I was a girly-girl growing up and still somewhat “girly” now (albeit a proud feminist girly-girl), I worry I won’t have anything in common with a son? Or because I grew up with sisters and no brothers? Or because it freaks me out that I will be raising someone else’s husband one day (or wife, if, in the words of Liz Lemon, that’s what he feels is inside him!)?
Anyone else struggle with this? Any moms of boys out there who can offer some advice?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t worry too much. I think apprehension about parenthood is quite common. My sister wanted a little girl, and was disappointed when she found out she was having a boy… but after she met him, she wouldn’t trade that stinker for the world.
Post # 4
When I found I that I was pregnant with a boy, I was a little sad. Of course it seems like most women want to have liittle girls, but honestly, I couldn’t be happier with my little man. He’s 10 months old, so adventurous, and such a little flirt.
I couldn’t imagine not having him around, and having a girl right now. Being a Stay-At-Home Mom, my little guy has turned into a little momma’s boy, in the sense that he loves seeing me if I’ve been gone all day for some reason.
I’m sure that as he gets older, I’ll have less and less in common with him; but I’ll approach that as it comes. Also, think about you’re DH, if you had a girl, wouldn’t he be afraid of not having anything in common with his daughter.
I don’t know if this was much help or not :/
Post # 5
We also found out the gender of munchkin. I also wanted a girl and was a bit sad that when we found out we were having a boy. Honestly once that baby is born you will bond with your son. I love my son like no tomorrow, he is the light of my life and can’t imagine life without him! Everything changes once you hold that baby!
Post # 6
i was definitely disappointed when i found out i was having a boy. it took a few weeks to really adjust, and i am not sure when the change happened, but now i can’t imagine it any other way. i don’t even think about how he could have been a girl anymore. I am just focused on my son growing inside me. I think i felt more “connected” when we officially decided on a name and started referring to him by his name. now he is a real person to me and i can’t wait to meet him. i am almost at the point where i would think its weird if i suddenly found out i was having a girl! (although my hopes will be up all over again when we have a second child of course!).
so all that to say that i don’t think you need to worry. just give it time and although i don’t have a child just yet, i am pretty confident when i say that when your boy is born, you will be amazed by your love for him.
Post # 7
SUPER normal to feel that way, and do not worry. The relationship between a mom n little boy is HUGE. My two oldest are boys and they were super momma’s boys and always cuddly and close to me when they were small.As they got older, we found other ways to spend family time, like trips or go to the movies, etc.
My kids loved playing legos, and drawing, playing outside, going to the zoo…I mean, bonding time doesn’t have an assigned sex to it. It’s your child, and once he is born, you will see what I am saying! 🙂
Post # 8
I’ve worked for with children for over 10 years from a couple weeks to about 4.5 years old. They are all wonderful. Last year, I got put with a group of three little 2-year-old boys. I was so scared!! But, they were so awesome and I missed them so much when they moved on. They were by far the best group of kids that I’ve ever worked with! It’ll be okay and I’m sure you’ll have so much fun with your son!!
Post # 9
I have two stepsons and happy to have boys rather than girls actually. I’m a tomboy and fear having a “girly girl”… what will WE have in common? I think there can be fear either way. One of my stepsons is a total momma’s boy and the other is a total daddy’s boy. I think it has worked out well. Afraid to have my own child and throw off what we have going on… though there is more testosterone in the house including the DOG!
Post # 10
Completely normal. I’ll be honest and say that I was really, really hoping for a girl while my Fiance was dying for a boy. We all had an inkling it was a boy, but I still kept hoping (and even bought a bunch of dresses because I couldn’t help myself) up until we had our ultrasound. When it was confirmed it was a boy it took a while for me to adjust and let it sink in. Then I just focused on the fact that he was healthy, and that was what was most important to me. Now, I couldn’t imagine anything but my little guy. I’m very excited to be having a boy now that I’ve had a little time to adjust to the idea.
Post # 11
I want a boy 🙂 but I would be equally happy with a girl 🙂 I think once this little boy comes all the apprehension will go out the window.
Post # 12
I had a girl first, and even though I would have been happy with either sex during my second pregnancy, I was a little worried about having a boy. I just couldn’t imagine life with a boy, and I worried that, being the mom of a girl, I wouldn’t be able to relate to or parent a little boy very well. Turns out, all my worrying was for nothing! Babies are pretty genderless, at first, so their sex pretty much doesn’t matter for at least the first year. My son is just like my daughter was as a baby: happy, sweet, cuddly, giggly, and so much fun. I’m so in love with him, I can’t remember all the things I was worried about before! 🙂
Take some time to let go of your hopes to have a little girl, but don’t worry about it too much if you feel disconnected or not quite as excited during pregnancy. Most likely, you’ll bond once your baby is on the outside, and a lot of these feelings will fade.
Post # 13
@BothCoasts: Your post made me recall a good article by one of my favorite bloggers. She wanted a little girl but had a boy. Read it here: http://joannagoddard.blogspot.ca/2011/04/motherhood-mondays-on-having-boy.html
I’d highly recommend you read her posts – especially the Motherhood Monday ones. She writes about parenting her little boy and it’s very honest and refreshing and you can tell how much she loves him.
I think that once your baby is born you will be full of love and just grateful for a happy, healthy baby.
You will find fun things to do together, and IMO there’s pros and cons for each gender.
Yeah you can play Barbies and dress-up and get manicures and do hair with your little girl, but you also have to deal w. self confidence issues more than you would w. a boy, have to worry about when she starts dating, she might be a teenage terror, etc.
Boys I think you need to worry about a bit less. And you probably will enjoy playing with trucks 🙂
Post # 14
I know how you feel- I had really wanted a girl (as did my hubby and most of my family) and I was definitely a little disappointed when we found out it was a boy. I grew up with a sister so I was worried that I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy. But honestly- once he is here it won’t matter to you one bit. He will be the absolute love of your life and the only thing you will care about is him being happy and healthy.
Post # 15
I have nothing to offer on the subject of motherhood. But, my little brother (who is 28 and expecting his own in Jan, holy cow!), was much closer to my mother than I was growing up. I was always a brat and he was always a momma’s boy.
Post # 16
Aw thank you bees! I AM looking forward to meeting baby and intellectually, I know that I’ll love him just as much as I would love a her, but this is all so reassuring. Keep coming with the cute stories!