(Closed) It’s a wedding, not a summer bbq! Show some respect!

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah, I mean, you already invited him. I dont see anything terribly offensive in his messages though

Post # 4
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s weird that he asked so many questions, but I don’t really see anything that’s rude or offensive. Why would you uninvite him? And no, you can’t uninvite someone without being extremely rude.

Post # 5
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

hmmm i’m not sure what you’re referring to that is rude. you can’t uninvite someone you’ve already invited though.

Post # 6
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Im not quite sure why you are so offended…If anything I can appreciate the person not wanting to discuss the wedding with people who are not invited…maybe there is more and im missing something?

Relax and Breathe!!

Post # 7
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what the issue is from what you posted – what did he say that was offensive?

Why do you want to uninvite him?

Post # 8
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

no! you can’t uninvite him – he’s just curious and maybe a little socially anxious.  i can understand how his questions are annoying, but he’s not out of line!

Post # 9
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t see anything rude either — he actually seems like he really knows what’s going on and is being careful not to talk to those not invited! I wish some of my guests were so considerate…

Post # 10
18 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

All he asked is if some other people WERE coming, not if he could bring them or anything… I don’t see any disrespect!

Post # 11
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Haha. Oh, Tom. Some people really just don’t get it. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking with this–he better not be openly weighing his decision on who’s invited/who he’s sitting with!

That said, I don’t think you can uninvite him. Especially since you’ve gone through all this with him already. It would look bad to take it back now.

Post # 12
8351 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree, you can’t uninvite him. Also, I don’t see anything wrong with what he wrote. Just seems like he was trying to have a conversation with you. Asking if others are invited to make sure he doesn’t say hey did you get your invite yet from so and so is a question that I might ask. I would hate to mention the wedding to someone that I thought was invited, but wasn’t.

Post # 14
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had a friend do almost the same thing and it really offended me. When I posted it on WB no one agreed it was offensive!

Well, I agree with you. It’s totally offensive. You dont’ EVER ask the bride and groom who else is invited or where you are sitting. Especially if you aren’t coming or haven’t responded yet! In my case, I had asked my friend via email for her address and instead of giving it to me she said she couldn’t come.. Okay.. that was rude on it’s own. Then she proceeded to ask me who else that she knew was invited instead of asking for my address to send a gift or even saying congratulations. I was thinking to myself “This isn’t some birthday party, this is my wedding, who the hell does she think she is??”

Post # 15
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

He said he hasn’t made up his mind yet and then proceeded to ask which of his friends were invited.  It sounds like he is basing his attendance on whether or not his friends will be there.  Yes, that is at least mildly offensive.

Post # 16
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree this isn’t offensive.  I don’t see an issue at all with asking who was invited to the wedding.  I think he was being respectful by trying to make sure he didn’t discuss your wedding with people who were uninvited.  The “I’ll try to make up my mind by then” statement was a little weird but asking for your RSVP two months before the wedding date is really early so he may have just been surprised by that.

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