(Closed) It’s a weird thing, feeling hurt and loved all at the same time.

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
22 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

The only thing that counts is that your SO is there to hold you up while you’re falling down. At the end of the day you have someone to lean on, and as hard as it is to see at this moment-that is the most important thing in the world.

We also had some financial issues that were holding everything up, and that made my Fiance more hesitant to propose and plan a future etc. I decided to give him a budget for the ring (Under 1000 all included) because I did not want a RING I wanted a future with him…that made him relax & see that no matter what he put on my finger it still meant the same. Now we are slowly planning a wedding. Guys are putting such an emphasis on the ring part and the finances of it all – that sometimes we are left wondering how long will this take???
From what I’ve read, you have a great guy by your side and that is what you should focus on.

Post # 4
3306 posts
Sugar bee

*hugs* You have such a great guy!

Post # 5
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.  *hugs*  Would it make you feel a smidge better to know that you aren’t alone when it comes to this situation?  My SIL is a wonderful lady, but her father isn’t.  He emotionally abused her and her family for years, and when she got older, he started taking loans and credit cards out in her name with the intention to use the money but not repay it.  He ruined her credit among other things.  When my brother met her and they decided to get married, this was something that he (like your SO) took to heart and took care of.  He went so far as to make sure my SIL’s father knew that he wasn’t going to be dealing just with a daughter that didn’t have the heart to put him in jail anymore.  Her father is the typical bully, trying to make himself better by bringing others down, but when he met my brother who was taller and not afraid to stand up to him, he backed down very fast.  

It’s so sad to know that there are people like that in the world that would take advantage of their own kids.  I’m so glad you have a wonderful SO, and I hope this is the last time something like this comes up!

Post # 6
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Aww. HUGS! It may push it back, but think about this great guy you have who is in your relationship til the end because y’all are a team. ๐Ÿ™‚ Some people don’t get that-waiting, engaged or married!


Post # 9
2892 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how tough all of this is on you. But it sounds like you have a great guy and it sounds like you’re doing everything in your power. Going through something tough like this and knowing he’ll be right at your side…you’re right, he’s gonna make a fantastic husband. I hope everything works out for you soon. 

Post # 10
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m so sorry this happened *hugs* That is so rotten that someone so close to you let this go on for two years and never once told you about it! I would feel horribly betrayed as well. I’m so glad you have a SO that supports you and is willing to help you through all of this. He sounds like a great guy ๐Ÿ™‚ Sending good vibes that everything will work out okay ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
296 posts
Helper bee

Awww… I opened this thread expecting that something bad would have happened with your SO, but I’m so glad that’s not the case! Your situation sucks, but at least you have a great supportive guy who is willing to do anything for you! That is the positive in this situation; so just focus on the positive things! I hope this is the end of your family drama. 

Post # 13
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh wow – this same exact thing happened to me. But I didn’t find out until SO and I were buying a house and our mortgage lender told me my credit report showed there was an outstanding balance in which a collections agency was now involved. In order to get approved for the mortgage I had to pay off the $1600 charge that was racked up on the account! I called this family member and told them about it and all I got were excuses! I didn’t get much of an apology nor any offer to pay it (although I knew this person wouldn’t be able to pay it in any case).

I completely know how you feel when you say you felt betrayed – No one would think a family member would do something like this to you, especially since you had good intentions and were trying to help this family member out – but sadly it happens.

I’m happy to see your SO was supportive and that you’re coming out of this strong. My SO was like yours and offered to pay it – but I had some money saved up and paid it myself – it just put me more on a tight budget. Good Luck to you! Smile

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