(Closed) It's all about compromise…right??

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@Nic01:  I agree with you 100% this is a one time thing and you have many other Christmases to celebrate together.  The extra travel seems silly and stressful which you don’t need leading up to your wedding day 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, there is nothing that says now you are married you have to be together. You have family that is there and that is important too. How would you feel if one of them died unexpectedly in the future and you didnt spend those couple of days together.

FWIW- I would try to set it up that you spend one xmas (even and day) with one family one year and the next with the other. Saves on the hassle and gets them ready for when you have kids and dont want to be traveling on xmas morning. 

Post # 7
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

double post

Post # 8
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t see anything wrong (or silly) with you staying and him flying back earlier.  There’s nothing wrong with married (or about to be) people having different priorities on the same day and deciding it’s best for both if you to each do your thing, especially if it isn’t hurting anything/anyone.  That’s the best kind of compromise! 

While “it’d be nice to be together” is valid cause we DO like to be together, if you’d both be happier doing different things… why not?  If each feels something different is important and they can do it without the other, I feel you’re each supporting the other by letting them do their thing without a fuss (assuming it is ok with both and won’t cause any major issues elsewhere).

Post # 9
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nic01:  I guess it depends on everyone’s movements. All your family are coming to your town/city a few days before the wedding, so perhaps you could see them then.

But I agree that your Fiance should be able to see that this year is an exception (because of your wedding 6 days later), and it won’t kill his family to see you on the 26th just once, especially since they’ll all see you on the 31st anyway. I also agree you shouldn’t split up. Another possibility is to fly up a few days before the 24th – or won’t they have arrived yet?

Post # 12
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Nic01:  If it really came down to it I’d say extra days with your family is more important since they had to travel so far and it’s not normal for them to do so.

Post # 13
Member
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsTangerine:  Sorta this. FH and I often split off for stuff like this when we can’t agree on what we wanna do for an event and neither of us wants to budge. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see your family more than your SO for a couple days once in awhile.

Post # 15
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nic01:  Not ideal to be splitting up for 2 days, but time with your extended family will be good. Since it’s ok to split up for the hens’/bucks’ parties, perhaps think of it as an extended hens’ party which your male relatives are also invited to.

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