- 7 years ago
I’m going anonymous on this one because I just wrote a happy post the other day and I can’t bring myself to write this under my other name. These next few paragraphs may not be organized, but I just need to get my feelings out….
Ex-FI of three and a half years loved me deeply. I loved him deeply…but he’s had major marriage/commitment issues because of the relationships he saw growing up. It’s not just him though! His 6 other syblings are the same way! Ok so basically, he worked while I went to school and I will be graduating this June. We were engaged in January and all systems were go for a wedding in July because I didn’t want a big wedding and I planned on going back to the military.
I have a pretty strong personality, but I know how to be a good woman. I’m not argumentative, but I’m not a push-over either. I know when to give my opinion, but I also know when a man is just being a man, and at that moment, I just go to the gym. After three and a half years of praise and respect from both him and his mother about me knowing what I want out of life, is what he said he didn’t like about me. I knew he was going to have issues getting married because of the way he proposed to me, but being a woman who loved this man and wanted to marry him… I said, “Yes.”
We hardly EVER argue…but the more time passed after getting engaged (which isn’t much time at all), he started to make dumb comments about my personality, marriage, kids…. and we started fighting about stupid stuff. He says he just wants a woman who “knows her place, how to shut her mouth and do what I say.”!!! I was completely shocked about that and I started to ask him where all the animosity was coming from and he just freaked out and said, “I can’t do this shit for the rest of my life!”….and I knew instantly that he wasn’t ready to get married.
He’s been under a lot of pressure lately and has been in the process of trying to get his son back from his mother but that is no excuse for speaking to me like that. In January, I was the woman for him…he wanted to spend his life with me….he was so excited for our future….and not even an entire three months later, he can’t deal with my shit for the rest of his life? I asked him what I did wrong…and he said I don’t give him peace. I reminded him that I have my own life with my own friends…pets…sorority sisters….and I take myself out on dates quite often….so i didn’t understand where he was coming from. He just said, “It doesn’t matter what I mean now. I can’t do this the rest of my life.” I told him I will always love him and reminded him I gave him everything and he said, “You gave me everything you wanted me to have…not what I asked you for.”
Ladies, I’m just sad. I graduate in a couple of months and I just wanted this to be a good celebration. I don’t understand what I did to deserve this from someone who used to worship the ground I walked on (which was as early as a few weeks ago)…but it’s happened and now, I am struggling inside. I’m not completely torn apart because I could feel that he didn’t like that I wouldn’t be his girlfriend forever like all the other women in his family….but I’m hurting. I was the best thing that ever happened to him until he proposed, and now this. I don’t like the idea of starting over. I’m afraid of being alone. I’m a young woman with a big heart and a lot to offer, and when I tried to give it to someone, it was thrown back at me. I just don’t know what to do. I’m still doing my school work, but instead of planning a wedding, we are arranging for him to move back across the country. Please help me….