(Closed) It's All Over

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Awwww I’m so sorry.  It sounds like, in the long you will be better off without him. One day a man will come along who loves you and appreciate you for who you are smart, strong, and beautiful!

Post # 5
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Don’t let him make you feel bad for wanting to get married OR for being an independent woman! You deserve someone who not only respects you but relishes the fact that you are your own person. Maybe he’s going through a tough time right now, but that’s no reason to treat you badly.

If he says he doesn’t want to get married or he “can’t deal with this shit” for the rest of his life, believe him. You will find someone who wants to marry you just as badly as you want to marry him. YOU’RE STILL YOUNG! Do not worry about “starting over,” life doesn’t always go according to plan but most of the time the turns we take end up being the right path!!

Good luck and hugs to you!

Post # 6
Member
2919 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’m so sorry! You sound like an amazing person and in the long run he will either regret losing you OR it will turn out he’s just “not the marrying kind” no matter how perfect the woman is. I promise there will come a day when you’ll be glad he ended it when he did, because you deserve someone who will be THRILLED to marry you.

Post # 7
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sure it hurts now, but better things are around the corner!  You just have to get there.  Who knows what caused his change of heart – but I’d bet my paycheck it has nothing to do with you.  HE can’t deal with this the rest of his life?  Neither should you!  He’s taking his own issues out on your relationship; some people do that in stress, and it’s terrible to have your relationship/yourself picked over just because he’s feeling insecure somewhere else in his life.  Trust me…I’ve been on both sides of this, in the same (ex) relationship.  You’ll get through this, and if he’s lucky, he’ll learn this lesson sometime and be able to own and fix his problems without displacing them on “safe” terrain – that is, taking them out on his relationship and partner.  You sound reasonable, fair and downright awesome.  You’re going to struggle for the next few months, but after that things will be so, so much better!  Good luck and hang in there!

Post # 8
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know it’s eay for me to say but he clearly wasn’t the one for you. You compramised and were willing to support his issues of which he’s taken advantage of.Perhaps you dont feel like it now but you are so much better off without a person who think they can tell you who to be. You will find someone who deserves you in good time, in the meanwhile dont look and dont stress because love pops her head up at the most unexpected time. and when you do find the man you spend the rest of your life with it wont feel like starting all over again because that relationship is going to be wonderful, it’ll give you butterflies in your stomach and all the happiness you deserve.

keep on with the school work and when you graduate it will be an amazing time not only because of all the work you have put into it but also because  even  all of the crap you’ve gone through didnt stop you acheiving what you deserve. and this wont stop you!

keep being the independent woman that you are and dont rely on others to make you happy, because if you start out as a person who is content with themselves the happiness that others give to you will make your day brighter, but if they take away the happiness they have given you’ll still have the knowledge of who you are and what you stand for.

big hugs xxx

 

Post # 9
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so so sorry you’re going through this!! Good on you for being able to keep up with your schoolwork and whatnot. 

This may be the totally wrong thing to say, and I might be way off base, but honestly, it seems like something big happened recently and his way of dealing with it is to just take off. I don’t know what it is; pressure from a family member, interest in another girl, who knows? But that sort of behavior doesn’t just happen without a very clear reason. It sounds like he doesn’t know how to deal with pressure and/or guilt and made a ridiculous and hasty decision.

That said, good riddance to him. You deserve so much better!!

Post # 10
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

“Knows her place, how to shut her mouth and do what I say”

 

I’m sorry that your engagement is over, but after this I would’ve been out the door like no tomorrow. You don’t want a husband you have to drag to the altar kicking and screaming. You want someone who actually wants to be married, if that’s what you want in life. I know it hurts that your relationship with him is over. But just know that someone way better suited for you is out there waiting for you. And he’ll want marriage as much as you do and be excited to be your husband, not scared and making up crap just to get out of it.

Post # 12
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow, sounds like he is terrified of commitment and trying to push you away by any means possible. That being said you should never EVER have to deal with anyone saying those words to you. I’m so so sorry that your prince turned out to be a frog. 🙁

Focus on you and some day when you are ready the one who is meant for you will come and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Post # 13
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@angustia:  I’m really sorry this happened. I have a broken engagement in my past and it felt really hard at that time. I can’t say I agree never arguing in a relationship is the way to go but I also don’t think people need to tear each other apart either.  I have found when people never argue it’s because someone is keeping stuff inside, not because they are neccesarily happy. Anger is a ntural emotion to be felt by all. It’s what we do with it that matters. Just my 20 cents…

 

I’m thinking all this stress allowed you to see who he really was. It seems you desrve better and I hope you get it. I read your other post and hope he moves out soon.

 

Take Care…

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