Post # 1
Does anyone else get the…
“I can’t wait to help you with your wedding”
“I thought I would hear something from you over the holidays about a ring”
“oh, if it doesn’t happen soon I’m going to say something to him”
…Why can’t people just mind there own beeswax! If I’m happy does it really matter? of course I want to be engaged but I’m not and I’m not the one complaining. Now I know why my SO gets so upset about people asking when he is going to propose.
Am I the only one that hears this?
Post # 3
My SIL/best friend nearly breaks her neck everytime she sees me trying to check out my hand and when she sees no ring .. .. she’s like “god when is he gonna ask already?”
Post # 4
i have a friend thats been with his Girlfriend for 10yrs now and im dying to say “well, are you going to get married or not” but i wont!
like many of our friends, we are thinking dating for 10yrs, living together for nearly 5yrs, whats the holdup – and i know his Girlfriend is betting pretty fed up with it as well
Post # 5
I dealt with that a lot before we were engaged. We dated for over 5 years and I was waiting for a good 2 of those. Every holiday, birthday, anniversary and date night that passed I would always have people say something about not having the ring yet. It got old quick. I would just tell them that it will happen when it happens and left it at that. However, after we did get engaged, these people were over the moon excited for us.
Post # 6
I wish other people would start waiting on my behalf, already! Except for a few old friends who live far away, no one is saying anything about my waiting. Meaning, no one in his family has asked him when he’s gonna go ahead and ask me! We’ve been together for 2 years and 4 months.
Granted, he has been divorced his family is just not that expressive and…I don’t know. He visited them twice wearing the ring I gave him, and no one asked what it meant. Okay, his sister asked about it and he just said that I gave it to him.
I don’t feel like I’m making any sense here. Still reeling from my birthday earlier in the week. It was a big one and he did NOT get me ANY present. That’s so not cool. I do love him. He told me three times last year that he was about to propose and then backed out of it. Now it is hard for me to trust him again after that. The other day he referred to one of those times as “having a half-baked idea”. I do find that insulting.
I have a few goals for the new year. My big goal for last year was to get married. Now I’m not so sure. But, since I am still posting here, that must mean I still want it. Just don’t know if it can be with him.
Post # 7
Oh my gosh I totally get this! Worse is when we meet people and they assume we’re already married, leading to awkward looks of pity when I say, “oh no, we’re just…dating.”
Post # 8
Future Mother-In-Law tells me that she calls me “her future DIL.” That’s hard. Also, both my Dirty Delete and my SD (step-daughter) both keep asking when SO and I will get married. Last weekend they badgered me in the car non-stop with my SD saying, “Please, oh, please marry my daddy!” When I told SO that she said, “I can’t wait for you to be my stepmom,” SO’s reply had to do with something of how comfortable she feels with us but no wedding talk. *le sigh*
So, yes, waiting is hard and other people’s comments don’t make it any easier. I feel your pain!
Post # 9
@mermaideve: huh? YOU gave him a promise ring, he told you he would propopse at least 3 times and didnt and he didnt even bother to give you something for your birthday – how long are you prepared to let someone hurt you like this?
Post # 10
nope! i used to get this a lot at work. whenever i went away for a trip with the mister, i had to spend the week prior to it telling everyone not to expect a ring when i got back. they were more anxious than i was!
Post # 11
I get this from my boss and other family members- I am pretty much over it all. (and over the waiting too *bleh*)
Post # 12
i have a coworker that always asks to see my ring finger after every holiday. sometimes its embarrassing. but otherwise no one really asks me anything, i guess they just assume i’ve gone this long without getting married i probably never will. lol
Post # 13
@EagerBeever: I totally hear you on thinking people need to mind their own business when it comes to this stuff. In fact, I was getting these same sorts of comments and questions so often, that I snapped one day and wrote a whole letter/thread on the subject lol. To this day, a tiny part of me still wishes I could post it on my facebook… but then again, I love being able to share those thoughts with just my fellow Bees. It’s comforting! [Plus I don’t reeeally want my SO to read it on facebook either haha] 🙂
Heck, I had even asked a male coworker for anniversary gift ideas once [for my SO], and as soon as he found out how long we’d been together, he told me that my SO should put a ring on it. I’m just thinking… that has nothing to do with a gift lol – although I like to think marrying me would be quite a gift to my SO. 😉
You are definitely not alone, EagerBeaver.
Post # 14
@EagerBeever: I get that ALL the time!! It’s so hard having to be reminded that we’re waiting..why can’t they just butt out and wait silently atlease!!
I keep getting emails from coworkers asking me if I have something shiny on my left hand yet, etc…my mother-in-law seems even more annoyed by the wait than me since Boyfriend or Best Friend is keeping her in the dark about it all purposely (he KNOWS she’s a tattle-tail..lol), father-in-law knows everything but has that look in his eyes that says “I know when and yooooooou don’t”. LOL
I bet even both my parents know since the holidays after Boyfriend or Best Friend asked him for my hand in marriage.
What works for me is to remind people when I leave for a weekend or something to NOT expect a ring.
Post # 15
I’m nice to hear that everyone goes through this.
I get it the most from the wife of one of SOs friends. First she tells me that she wants to help me with the wedding (she is a former event planner) over and over again, “I want to do this for you” and “I can’t wait to plan your wedding” which is really a totally separate problem since I don’t really want her help BUT then when I say “well lets talk when I have a ring, who knows when it is going to happen” She asks me why I’m being so pessimistic. I’ve explained over and over that of course I would love to get engaged tomorrow but I have an amazing relationship that I want to enjoy instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I’ve been focusing on what I do have and how much I love my SO. And she tells me I have a good outlook about it but in the same breath she says “well if it doesn’t happen soon I’m going to say something”… OH NO.
Her comments get in my head, its just not something I need to hear. There is more to her that is off topic but to sum it up she is having problems in her own marriage so I’m trying not to comment on the things she says and just be positive and get out of the line of fire when she starts.
Post # 16
Hope it works out.Each man is different.