(Closed) It's been 4 hours and people are already complaining.

posted 8 months ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

What are your guests upset about specifically? It all sounds quite reasonable but maybe there are actual problems there.. 

Post # 3
Member
917 posts
Busy bee

Honestly, I’d be annoyed if someone told me that if I cared, I’d find a way. Guilt tripping generally backfires. I would also be annoyed if I were asked to contribute money toward someone else’s wedding. You said it’s “if they have it” but that’s definitely an imposition on people and I imagine they’d feel awkward not paying. I would not be happy to pay $100 to drive six hours roundtrip and sleep on an air mattress. 

Post # 4
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

snpmarin :  I don’t think there is anything wrong with that distance.  As you said, if people don’t want to come they aren’t obligated.  I wouldn’t think twice about driving 3 hours for a wedding.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask people to “chip in” $50-100 for dinner breakfast and lunch though.  1. You shouldn’t be asking for money at all.  Host what you can afford (ie. your reception dinner) and people should be able to figure out the rest of their meals. 

2. Even if it was appropriate, asking people for a varying amount of money and having other people not pay at all will annoy a lot of people.  You don’t know what everyones financial situation is.  If I chipped in $50 for meals then found out my sister didn’t have to pay anything because she is on maternity leave, I’d be annoyed as she actually has far more in savings than me. 

Post # 5
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - Country/barn

snpmarin :  ugh that’s annoying for sure! I’m pretty sure we live extremely close to each other! 

Post # 7
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I think you should cover the $1500 yourselves for food etc for the 10-15 guests. It’s tacky to ask your guests to ‘pitch in’ when they have to travel to your destination wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

snpmarin :  are you sure you want to have this wedding? You sound angry. And I don’t completely agree with having a destination wedding to avoid people standing you up. You are punishing people who will show up, not the ones who won’t, or didn’t. Having this drive now and asking them to pay i’m afraid will just make more people back out last minute and make you angrier.

Post # 11
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

snpmarin :  you’re not getting married in the Carribean or Hawaii. You’re inviting them to a cabin. Their only responsibility is to drive to your wedding, show up to the reception, be fed and given refreshments, and enjoy their time. 

Post # 12
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

wouldnt having a destination wedding make more people stand you up then to have it close to home??? or am i confused. If you want to have a destination wedding, go for it but dont pressure people, who ever RSVPs follow up extensively and plan for the worse for a few no shows.. If your so against people being no shows, then have a small family only wedding. 

you want to rent a cabin and have all this food, that you seem to not have to funds to cover yourself, but why go to all the trouble of begging people to chip in and hoping they dont flake out on you. 

have the wedding you want, but dont rely so heavily on guests to chip in, i guarantee you it wont work out. 

Post # 14
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

To answer your question about destination weddings..I’ve gone to a couple of destination weddings, One of them was in France (were in the US) and my husband was in that wedding so the couple paid for our hotel the night of the wedding which was really generous, we paid for all of our meals and drinks apart from the rehearsal dinner and reception dinner. 

The other was also overseas and I was the Maid/Matron of Honor, we paid for all of our lodging and meals apart from rehearsal and reception.

so yes most of the time the guests pay for everything.

snpmarin :  

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