(Closed) It's been 6 years and no proposal?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Go or stay
    Stay and wait : (31 votes)
    26 %
    Move on : (55 votes)
    45 %
    Ultimatum : (35 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Hmmm it seems like you guys have huge communication issues, is it possible he feels like he has already proposed with that ring and you weren’t interested?

    Post # 5
    Member
    2086 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

    “Is he using this navy thing as an excuse? Does he not want to marry someone who maybe can’t have children? “

    Have you asked him these questions?  You don’t mention having any conversations about marriage besides the xbox/ring conversation.  We were talking about marriage pretty regularly the year before we got engaged.  If you aren’t talking about it and don’t feel comfortable having a conversation about it, I think that’s troubling.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    @court825:  Have you had a conversation with him recently about marriage and whether he wants to get married soon, if you guys are living with his parents maybe he feels like you are not financially able to pay for a wedding or even buy an e ring. what are you both doing now to become more financially independent, are you both working full time?

    Post # 7
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Hun, you need to talk to him about this, not us.

    Write a letter to him, express every feeling and emotion you have inside you. Pour your heart out. Allow yourself to ask all the questions you need to and really explain how you feel inside. You might not choose to even give the letter to him but it will allow you to really know what you want to ask him.

    It seems you have a somewhat stable relationship but I’m guessing you’ve just hit a really stagnant point. To be honest it sounds like he might be depressed because he is also not living the life he expected to be living. For all you know, he wanted to be able to give you a good quality of life, a beautiful wedding and earn a good income to support you. I have found over the years that a lot of delayed proposals are not from men ‘not committing’ but because men put more important things before weddings. And it makes sense. Why go and get married and be in debt when you haven’t even secured your own place?

     

    Anyhow, like I said before, you need to sit down and calmly talk to him about it. Tell him that you want to sit down and talk aboutt he future and where he sees you in 5 years time. He’s the only one who can ever really answer your question.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I was with my Darling Husband for 7.5 years before we got engaged and by then I had finished my degree and had a full time job, Darling Husband was earning over $100K and we owned our own home, and he had saved up for an e ring. Not saying you need to be that financially stable, but even with our incomes saving for a wedding was still really hard. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    How old are you guys, out of interest?

     

    And he honestly might not have known you were going to buy him a game.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I don’t have any advice for you as far as the proposal goes, but I wanted to add a comment about PCOS.

    I also have PCOS, was told that I couldn’t have children without help…however, I have an 18 year old son getting ready to go to college to challenge that.  Also, the doctor gave me some meds to help with all the symptoms….well, my 10 year old daughter is testiment to how much help that was.  

    Just to let you know, PCOS isn’t the end of everything.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Honestly, he just sounds immature. I know that may not be what you want to hear, but someone who is choosing to live with their parents in order to spend more time and money on video games is not making “grown-up” decisions. This has nothing to do with  age, but just where he is in life right now.

    Like the pp’s said, you need to have a serious converstation with him. Sit him down away from distractions and let him know you are unhappy with where you two are right now. You don’t have to give an untimatum, just let him know what this is a converation that you need to have in order to move along in the relationship.

    Also, on a completly unrelated note. It’s pretty hard to predict how hard it will be to have kids with PCOS. My mother has it and tried for seven years with medical intervention with one, two years w/o medical interventions for another, and then the last was a complete surprise! So try not to worry too much about your ability to have kids. Cross that bridge when you get there 🙂

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