Post # 1
it still feels the same as day 1.
I know I’ve talked about this numerous times, but it really helps to have someone to talk about as I don’t in real life (and can’t afford therapy)
I even found proof that my ex started talking to his now gf before we were broken up, I already had an idea he had talked to her before but seeing proof was really hard. Just within the past 2 weeks he told me he wasn’t happy with her, he was breaking up with her, and she was moving out of his place (which she did) and when I told him NO I do not want to be with you, he’s right back with her. Why? After telling me you didn’t want to be with her and all that stuff, he’s such a hypocrite. Then he’s going to turn it around on me and say things like don’t be mad at me when you told me you didn’t want to be with me, didn’t want to see me all the time. I mean really.. he’s trying to make it my fault that he’s with her again. He even told me he didn’t want me moving on and he’s been with this girl since we broke up. Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do this anymore, that he’s going to be with her forever and treat her way better than he ever did me. And that I’ll be all alone forever. You would think after 9 months I would be feeling better but nothing has changed, I still feel the same as day 1.
2018 has just been an awful year, I’m honestly looking forward to going into 2019 without this douchecanoe in my life.
Post # 2
You aren’t feeling better because you are keeping yourself from getting over him by keeping him in your life. Why were you talking to I’m two weeks ago?!
I haven’t read any of your other posts but I’m sure you have received the same feedback over and over yet you aren’t listening.
Im going to give you some harsh reality now, because you need it, it doesn’t matter if he is with her or how you broke up of whether they will be together forever or not, he doesn’t want you (it’s tough to swallow but it happens to everyone) and most importantly he is a terrible partner.
Stop talking to him, delete his number and actually try to move on!
Post # 3
buzzingbeez14 : I haven’t read your previous posts, but this guy sounds super shitty. It’s been 9 months, at this point you’re just letting him mess with your emotions. STOP TALKING TO HIM. BLOCK HIM ON EVERYTHING.
Post # 4
Post # 5
You’re not going to heal if you continue talking to him or allowing him to have any sort of presence in your life. Go no contact. You’re not going to be alone forever. You’ll find the right person for you once you give yourself a chance to heal on your own.
Post # 6
It is pretty clear that despite telling him you won’t get back together with him, you are desperate for his attention and you will cling to whatever scraps he throws your way because it makes you feel better about yourself and it makes you feel smug to know he’s not happy with his current girlfriend.
. Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do this anymore, that he’s going to be with her forever and treat her way better than he ever did me.
This makes zero sense. He is trying to line up her replacement while still with her. How is that treating her well?
OP, why are you torturing yourself? The brief validation you get from his attention is not worth how shitty it makes you feel 90% of the time. Get your number changed. Close out your social media accounts for like, 3 months. Don’t just block him. CLOSE THEM. You cannot be trusted to not creep on his social media and get depressed. Seriously. No social media for three months. Give it a try. Focus on your job, your kid, find a hobby, take up exercising.
You are doing this to yourself. Stop it.
Post # 7
You are right, you have posted this same problem over and over. The only person who can change this situation is you and you are choosing not to.
You know what you need to do. You have had advise from so many bees on what options you have but you are again choosing not to take any of it.
If you didn’t like this drama and continuing unhealthy contact then you would take the obvious course of action and end it. Harsh but true.
2019 will be no different from 2018 unless you truly want it to be.
Post # 8
Of course you’re never going to get over things when you KEEP TALKING TO HIM. You need to go no-contact and stop giving him the opportunity to jerk you around. He has TOLD you that he’s stringing you along and doesn’t want you moving on, but worse yet, YOU’RE LETTING HIM. Nothing will get better until you make the choice to cut him out of your life.
Post # 9
….and you’re still talking to him because…..?
Post # 10
Why are you still talking to him? Are you looking to start a dumpster fire?
Your ex is a loser in the game of life – he also lies. You’re acting like a drug addict who thinks she can take just 1 pill and be ok, and then winds up consuming the bottle. Little bits of talking to your ex work the same way and will have the same effect. Do you really want to be sucked into this mess? Lose his number fast.
Look, I’m the one who said he was cheating when he said he wanted time off. You said no he can’t possibly be cheating. Well, I know men. I also know addicts, so please believe what I say. You’re the addict.
Post # 11
I know I wish I would’ve just blocked him 9 months ago! I didn’t think it would continue for this long, but I let it. At one point I thought it helped me but I’ve quickly realized that it’s only hurt me more. Last night I decided to have no contact whatsoever, talking to him does nothing except boost his own ego and hurt me. I’m just more hurt by him lying and being so hypocritical but that has nothing to do with me and everything with his own self..
I just have to forget the life that I thought I was going to have and look forward to better things ahead. This has been the hardest year for me!
Post # 12
I’m glad you’ve decided to block him. Do not under any circumstances contact him again. Delete his number, block his email and Facebook. You will never get over him until you stop using him for emotional support.
Also it sounds like you may not have a lot of friends you can lean on. Take some classes, go to meet up groups and find some platonic friends. Keep yourself busy. Get new hobbies. Importantly make yourself unavailable to your ex.
Finally, this may not be the best advice, but in my experience, finding a new boyfriend often helps. Yes, ideally you would work on you. But…honestly most of my friends in your position have gotten over their ex by dating other people. Join match or ok cupid. Go on dates. There’s nothing wrong with a rebound or two. Heck, maybe you’ll even meet the one. You know they say the fastest way to get over one man I’d to get under another. 🙂
However stick to your resolution. You must go no more contact with this guy. Otherwise 2019 will be like 2018. You deserve someone who loves you. I’m sorry you are going through this. Best of luck bee!
Post # 13
buzzingbeez14 : You have GOT to treat yourself better than this. Get this asshat out of your life and don’t let him back in, because he makes you feel like garbage. And the only way he can do that is with your permission. MAKE 2019 better, it’s up to you.
Post # 14
buzzingbeez14 : Stop picking the scab!!
The life you thought you were going to have was a fantasy, a mirage. Work on making a real life, a good life.
Post # 15
I’ve been there and truly, blocking and 100% cutting him out of my life was the only thing that helped me move on.