It’s been 9 months since the breakup and…

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You aren’t feeling better because you are keeping yourself from getting over him by keeping him in your life. Why were you talking to I’m two weeks ago?!

I haven’t read any of your other posts but I’m sure you have received the same feedback over and over yet you aren’t listening.

Im going to give you some harsh reality now, because you need it, it doesn’t matter if he is with her or how you broke up of whether they will be together forever or not, he doesn’t want you (it’s tough to swallow but it happens to everyone) and most importantly he is a terrible partner. 

Stop talking to him, delete his number and actually try to move on!

Post # 3
Member
1904 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

buzzingbeez14 :  I haven’t read your previous posts, but this guy sounds super shitty. It’s been 9 months, at this point you’re just letting him mess with your emotions. STOP TALKING TO HIM. BLOCK HIM ON EVERYTHING. 

Post # 5
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

You’re not going to heal if you continue talking to him or allowing him to have any sort of presence in your life. Go no contact. You’re not going to be alone forever. You’ll find the right person for you once you give yourself a chance to heal on your own.

Post # 6
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It is pretty clear that despite telling him you won’t get back together with him, you are desperate for his attention and you will cling to whatever scraps he throws your way because it makes you feel better about yourself and it makes you feel smug to know he’s not happy with his current girlfriend.

 

. Sometimes I just feel like I can’t do this anymore, that he’s going to be with her forever and treat her way better than he ever did me.

This makes zero sense. He is trying to line up her replacement while still with her. How is that treating her well?

 

OP, why are you torturing yourself? The brief validation you get from his attention is not worth how shitty it makes you feel 90% of the time. Get your number changed. Close out your social media accounts for like, 3 months. Don’t just block him. CLOSE THEM. You cannot be trusted to not creep on his social media and get depressed. Seriously. No social media for three months. Give it a try. Focus on your job, your kid, find a hobby, take up exercising.

 

You are doing this to yourself. Stop it.

Post # 7
Member
616 posts
Busy bee

You are right, you have posted this same problem over and over. The only person who can change this situation is you and you are choosing not to.

You know what you need to do. You have had advise from so many bees on what options you have but you are again choosing not to take any of it.

If you didn’t like this drama and continuing unhealthy contact then you would take the obvious course of action and end it. Harsh but true.

2019 will be no different from 2018 unless you truly want it to be.

Post # 8
Member
5643 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Of course you’re never going to get over things when you KEEP TALKING TO HIM. You need to go no-contact and stop giving him the opportunity to jerk you around. He has TOLD you that he’s stringing you along and doesn’t want you moving on, but worse yet, YOU’RE LETTING HIM. Nothing will get better until you make the choice to cut him out of your life.

Post # 9
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

….and you’re still talking to him because…..?

Post # 10
Member
1960 posts
Buzzing bee

Why are you still talking to him? Are you looking to start a dumpster fire?

Your ex is a loser in the game of life – he also lies. You’re acting like a drug addict who thinks she can take just 1 pill and be ok, and then winds up consuming the bottle. Little bits of talking to your ex work the same way and will have the same effect. Do you really want to be sucked into this mess? Lose his number fast.

Look, I’m the one who said he was cheating when he said he wanted time off. You said no he can’t possibly  be cheating. Well, I know men. I also know addicts, so please believe what I say. You’re the addict.

Post # 12
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I’m glad you’ve decided to block him.  Do not under any circumstances contact him again.  Delete his number, block his email and Facebook.  You will never get over him until you stop using him for emotional support.

Also it sounds like you may not have a lot of friends you can lean on. Take some classes, go to meet up groups and find some platonic friends.  Keep yourself busy.  Get new hobbies.  Importantly make yourself unavailable to your ex.

Finally, this may not be the best advice, but in my experience, finding a new boyfriend often helps.  Yes, ideally you would work on you. But…honestly most of my friends in your position have gotten over their ex by dating other people.  Join match or ok cupid.  Go on dates.  There’s nothing wrong with a rebound or two. Heck, maybe you’ll even meet the one.  You know they say the fastest way to get over one man I’d to get under another.  🙂

However stick to your resolution.  You must go no more contact with this guy.  Otherwise 2019 will be like 2018.  You deserve someone who loves you.  I’m sorry you are going through this.  Best of luck bee!

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

buzzingbeez14 :  You have GOT to treat yourself better than this. Get this asshat out of your life and don’t let him back in, because he makes you feel like garbage. And the only way he can do that is with your permission. MAKE 2019 better, it’s up to you.

Post # 14
Member
5507 posts
Bee Keeper

buzzingbeez14 :  Stop picking the scab!! 

The life you thought you were going to have was a fantasy, a mirage. Work on making a real life, a good life. 

Post # 15
Member
9255 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’ve been there and truly, blocking and 100% cutting him out of my life was the only thing that helped me move on.

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