It’s been 9 months since the breakup and…

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I think you need to cut contact delete his number delete him from social media and move on. Don’t answer him if he calls or messages you. He did the wrong thing not you and you need to move on from him. 

Post # 17
Member
6233 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

buzzingbeez14 :  I mean…he’s literally done this same exact thing several times in the last 9 months. Why are you surprised? The advice in ALL of your previous posts has been the same: block him, cut all contact. You keep choosing to ignore that advice so I’m not sure what you’re expecting now. 

Post # 18
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee

Thank you! I agree. You are DOING THIS TO YOURSELF! Block his number and move on. When you don’t do that this is what happens. Your just repeatedly ripping the wound open right now. Cut him off, block him, and actually move on. 

zzar45 :  

Post # 19
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

Hey there. My ex and I had a somewhat messy break-up. We tried to be friends afterwards, but it wasn’’t right for us (it’s not right for most people, at least at first). I think it would be nice for both of you if you say, “Look, I think it’s best for us if we go our seperate ways. Just an FYI, I’m deleting and blocking your number to make things easier for us. Good luck to you.”

And that’s it. Spend time with your friends, maybe join a club or Meet Up. Figure out what you want for your life (single, casual dating, relationship, etc.). If you want to date, use a dating website. Sometimes it’ll be fun and exciting, sometimes you’ll feel exhausted and wish you could slip back into the ease of being with your ex/never want to date. But eventually you’ll meet someone that’s compatible and will be much happier than you are now. 

Post # 20
Member
31 posts
Newbee

 

It’s like you keep jumping into the pool, then get upset that you’re cold and wet. STOP JUMPING.

Tough love here: He’s not the problem. You are. What I mean by this is that he’s happy as a clam. He’ll keep you in his life as long as you let him. He’s not hurting. You are. He has no reason to change or do anything differently. If you want to stop feeling heartbroken, you’re going to have to be the one to do something about it. He’s not going to. 

I know it’s hard, but you have to go “no contact.” Block him on everything if you have to. You’ll never move on if he stays in your life. You deserve so much better. Your path to happiness doesn’t include this guy. Good luck, bee. 

 

Post # 22
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

buzzingbeez14 :  And yes I could block him, but I like seeing him still trying to convince me to take him back 

 

Well then youve got no one to blame but yourself. Stop wasting everyone else’s time and stop pretending you want to be rid of this guy. Enjoy your ridiculous drama on your own.

 

Post # 23
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

buzzingbeez14 :  The reason you don’t want to block him is because you’re desperate for any scrap of attention he’ll give you.  Don’t be that girl, Bee. 

BLOCK HIM so he definitely knows you’re not getting his messages.  It will be hard the first while, because you’ll want to know what he’s saying, etc., but trust me… if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll never feel better.

Here’s the best way to move on:  Actually move on.  Live your life happily without him.  Let your mutual friends give him word of how successfully you’ve moved past him and how well things are going for you.  Date a few people.  Find your happy.  This…. this is not your happy.

Post # 24
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

buzzingbeez14 :  Bee, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll be direct: At this point you are not a victim, you are a volunteer. You will continue to feel the heartbreak and pain you’re experiencing for as long as you sign up for this bullshit. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Your best friend probably doesn’t text you back because s/he’s sick of your shit, too.

Either move on or take 100% full ownership of what you’re doing to yourself right now. Those are the ONLY two options.

Post # 25
Member
6233 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

buzzingbeez14 :  Unless you block him you’re just asking for this cycle to keep repeating itself. This is on YOU now. Maybe your best friend doesn’t respond to you much anymore because she feels like she’s talking to a brick wall. What’s the point? She’s probably just as frustrated with your complaints as we are. 

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