(Closed) It's difficult trying to keep the wedding small..

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I wanted to elope but we compromised with a small destination wedding, aiming for maximum 10 guests. We have 12 people coming, and kept it that small by keeping it secret. It’s hard not to blab about it but it is saving us the angst of explaining why people arent invited.

Post # 18
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee

Same problem. Destination wedding, trying to keep it small, 85 people on the guest list, most of who will most likely be able to come. People who we did invite were polite and never assumed they’d be invited. People who I’d never invite, even to a local wedding, assume they’re invited and are upset that it’s a destination wedding. People who make these kinds of assumptions are really rude and I honestly didn’t care if I offended them by not inviting them. It just confirmed why I didn’t want them there.

Post # 19
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
isabelwedd :  Isn’t the supposed to be a thing with destination weddings done at resorts where for every guest that books a room in association to the wedding you get a discount to the pint of making it almost free for you if enough guests go? Because that’s what I’ve heard. Maybe you can work the guest overload to your advantage.

Post # 20
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Are these people REALLY serious about coming or just making generalizations. Especially when it comes to destination weddings and costs such as flights, hotel, etc people really think twice. Unless they’re very close or considering this their vacation too, you’ll find people will quickly start falling off.

If that’s the case, for goodwill invite them but know your headcount may actually be lower when it comes down to it? Then it’s on them they didn’t go? We were pretty confident for our own wedding of having just about everyone come, we ended up at 108 (that we paid for, had 4 or so last minute no shows) when we were pretty sure at least 120 would definitely come when doing the list, and our wedding was a 1.5 hour drive max for most people.

Post # 25
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
isabelwedd :  This is exactly why I wanted to do a destination wedding. I hated the thought of getting married and all eyes on me by people I wasn’t close with. I didn’t want it to feel like I had to put on a show for people.

Post # 28
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee

I hear ya! 

Fi and I wanted a small wedding too. My side of the family is on the small side. His, not so much! I’m close with my aunts, cousins, etc. He isn’t. We came to the conclusion that if we were to invite my aunts, cousins, etc then we’d we have to invite all of his, otherwise his mother would flip the F out. Just talking about it was stressing me out. Just counting family, not even looking at friends yet, we were close to 100+ people. 

We’re more or less eloping now. πŸ˜‰ 

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