Post # 1
I’m really torn up about this and don’t know what to do. I think I am a type of person that really worries about this type of stuff. I work closely with six people. Our offices and cubicles are arranged in such a way that we are all in very close proximity, and come in and out, hang out in the common area and talk and laugh all day. I work in sort of an unconventional job. It is high drama at times and very, VERY late nights for certain periods during the year. I see and talk to these people more than I do my Fiance. That being said, there is only 1 person that I hang out with outside of work, and outside of work happy hours. He actually knows my friends. So I was thinking of only inviting him. Second option is invite him and the person I am the next closest to. But then it’s a fine line b/w that person and the person after that. So then it’s half the office. But it would be strange to invite the WHOLE office because a couple people just started and I’m really not too close with them. Plus then I’d have to invite my boss, and none of us are big fans.
The next issue is that my venue really is maxed out. It’s only supposed to hold about 120-130 and I’m already at 135ish. If I invited all of them and their spouses, it would be ten more people. They know this. Granted, some people won’t come so I could possibly stretch it. I don’t know if they think they’re invited or not. Sometimes they do ask about wedding planning, although I try not to talk about it, sometimes I do.
So the issue is: I really do like these people and they are a big part of my day five days a week or more – they make my job more enjoyable and that’s a big deal. In a way, we’re all close. Is it all or nothing? Or just 1 person, who probably wouldn’t tell anyone, and no one else? If I start inviting more people, I will feel bad leaving people out. Should I just invite no one? Or all? HELP!
Post # 3
I am an all or nothing person, and I felt really guilting wanting to invite only a couple of people in my department and not the rest.
I know the guilt will be there, but I think it’s ok to just invite the one you socialize with outside of work. If you left tomorrow would you still keep in touch with everyone?
The other thing is if your venue is maxed out, I would nix the idea altogether. It’s probably not going to break their hearts not to be invited, and people understand when you are limited with numbers.
If they don’t understand…..you don’t want them there anyway!
Post # 4
I think if you want to invite the guy you are closest with, then invite him and leave it at that. Your venue can only hold so many people and you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite people you work with even though you spend so much time with them. We decided to really limit people from our work because we try to keep our work and personal lives separate. Try not to let it stress you out. I think you will find people are a lot more understanding about venue capacity and who you can and cannot invite.
Post # 5
That’s a tough one :/
In a way, I think they should be invited because you said they make your job more fun and you’re always together (we all need those people :), but it sounds like you really can’t do that because your venue is maxed out (which would give you a valid excuse for not inviting them) so it’s really not your fault. I don’t think they’ll get mad at you, especially since you said they already know that right?
Are you having the reception at the same place as the wedding or a different spot? If it’s in a different location where there’s more room, maybe you could offer for them to come to the reception… Just an idea of course.
One more thing.. Do these people know your FI? If they haven’t met him, and are curious and would like to meet him sometime, maybe you could set up a dinner/cocktail party at your house or out somewhere on a night where it can just be the small group of you all. That way they will feel like they were included in some way AND they can meet your new hubby 🙂
Post # 6
Thanks for your help girls – I am generally leaning towards just inviting the one friend, but like you said okqueenbee, they do provide importance to my life in that way. My reception and ceremony are in one place – actually a co-worker suggested awhile ago when I talked about the venue being small – inviting people just to the afterparty. But I dunno. All of them, with the exception of the new guy, have met the Fiance.
Post # 7
I think you can go either way, but one reason I chose to invite my whole division (a bunch of us, so that added 20-something to the guest list with families!) was that I will definitely be relying on them as co-workers as the wedding approaches in terms of helping me keep a work-life balance as the life part gets crazier….so it felt appropriate to invite them to celebrate too. I imagine that varies depending on the type of job you have, though; our work is very collaborative/transferable so it’s pretty connected.
For what it’s worth, though, we’re also inviting more than our venue capacity and assuming that 20-30 percent won’t come (a bit higher than some weddings b/c of a large number of out-of-towners, but the caterers we’ve talked to say at least 10-15% rsvp’ing no is usual). So you might be fine.
Post # 8
I was having this same problem..I decided to invite only those that I see outside of work…my numbers are maxed out too…
Post # 9
i sent out my invites yesterday but have yet to invite my coworkers, who i am pretty close with as well…..it makes my stomach turn, but we are WAY over our numbers right now…Fiance says we need to invite at least one person from our jobs, but I dont feel comfortable with that either…..I say all or none. Right now, its none, but I am waiting for RSVPS to start funneling in so that I can invite them (once we receive a certain amount of No’s.)
I feel like im playing Russian Roulette!!!!!!!!
Post # 10
I would either invite the guy you’re closest to only or all of them.