(Closed) It’s killing me – to invite co-workers or not?? LONG but please help.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am an all or nothing person, and I felt really guilting wanting to invite only a couple of people in my department and not the rest. 

I know the guilt will be there, but I think it’s ok to just invite the one you socialize with outside of work.  If you left tomorrow would you still keep in touch with everyone?

The other thing is if your venue is maxed out, I would nix the idea altogether.  It’s probably not going to break their hearts not to be invited, and people understand when you are limited with numbers.

If they don’t understand…..you don’t want them there anyway!

Post # 4
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think if you want to invite the guy you are closest with, then invite him and leave it at that.  Your venue can only hold so many people and you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite people you work with even though you spend so much time with them.   We decided to really limit people from our work because we try to keep our work and personal lives separate. Try not to let it stress you out.  I think you will find people are a lot more understanding about venue capacity and who you can and cannot invite. 

Post # 5
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

That’s a tough one :/

In a way, I think they should be invited because you said they make your job more fun and you’re always together (we all need those people :), but it sounds like you really can’t do that because your venue is maxed out (which would give you a valid excuse for not inviting them) so it’s really not your fault. I don’t think they’ll get mad at you, especially since you said they already know that right?

Are you having the reception at the same place as the wedding or a different spot? If it’s in a different location where there’s more room, maybe you could offer for them to come to the reception… Just an idea of course.

One more thing.. Do these people know your FI? If they haven’t met him, and are curious and would like to meet him sometime, maybe you could set up a dinner/cocktail party at your house or out somewhere on a night where it can just be the small group of you all. That way they will feel like they were included in some way AND they can meet your new hubby 🙂

Post # 7
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you can go either way, but one reason I chose to invite my whole division (a bunch of us, so that added 20-something to the guest list with families!) was that I will definitely be relying on them as co-workers as the wedding approaches in terms of helping me keep a work-life balance as the life part gets crazier….so it felt appropriate to invite them to celebrate too. I imagine that varies depending on the type of job you have, though; our work is very collaborative/transferable so it’s pretty connected.

For what it’s worth, though, we’re also inviting more than our venue capacity and assuming that 20-30 percent won’t come (a bit higher than some weddings b/c of a large number of out-of-towners, but the caterers we’ve talked to say at least 10-15% rsvp’ing no is usual). So you might be fine.

Post # 8
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was having this same problem..I decided to invite only those that I see outside of work…my numbers are maxed out too…

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i sent out my invites yesterday but have yet to invite my coworkers, who i am pretty close with as well…..it makes my stomach turn, but we are WAY over our numbers right now…Fiance says we need to invite at least one person from our jobs, but I dont feel comfortable with that either…..I say all or none. Right now, its none, but I am waiting for RSVPS to start funneling in so that I can invite them (once we receive a certain amount of No’s.)

I feel like im playing Russian Roulette!!!!!!!!

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

I would either invite the guy you’re closest to only or all of them. 

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