- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
SO – I am newly married (one month ago) and I am feeling depressed.
Proposal: very spur of the moment. Blurted it out when we were talking about health insurance and how things would be easier if we were married (Oh so romantic). There was no ring, no plan, no forethought. OK one could argue he MUST have been thinking about it to have asked so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Even tried to look at it positively – as in – wow he must really have wanted to marry me the way he just blurted it out – it was very raw and honest. BUt even trying to focus on the positive I still got sad. What are the 2st 2 things people asked when you get engaged? How did he propose!? and Let me see the ring! All I could say was – he asked me when we were chatting, and… there is no ring.
Wedding – was lovely though (as I am sure is typical) I did it all. He just wanted to know when to show up. couldn’t even get him to give me the name of a song or 2 that remind him of me (for our first dance). I was starting to feel like – well maybe it was too spur of the moment (the engagement) and he didn’t really mean it and now he’s caught up and that’s why he doesn’t want to plan? Asked him about it – he said he was “on board” with everything and that it would be great (It was – very fun wedding).
No honeymoon: we live in OR now (where he is from). I am from NY and the wedding was there (NY) so his folks decided to make it their vacation (had never been to NY). I was only able to get 2 weeks off. The wedding was on a friday. His folks were there the Tuesday before until the Thursday after, and we had to fly back Saturday… so we had 2 days alone after his folks left. I can’t blame him for that… though if we had planned a honeymoon, his folks would not have been able to stay so long… they figured since we had no “plans” they would stay longer.
SO instead of being happy and newly wedded blissful, I am feeling sad, and resentful, and out of sorts. Now that there is no wedding to focus on these other things are bothering me.
Yes – I married a wonderful man that loves me. That should make it all better…. but it doesn’t. And now I am not only bitter and resentful, but I feel guilty for not being able to let it go.
What do I do?