(Closed) Its like Post-Partum Depression but for weddings.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am sorry 🙁 Are you genuinely happy to be married to this guy? Aside from everything that happened… if it weren’t for the un-perfectness of the situation, would you marry him all over again? 

If so, I think you’re just dealing with real life issues. As in… no, this is not a fairytale. Movies, books and stories from friends who’ve had it all remind us girls of all the imperfections in our relationships and lives. It’s no fun 🙁 But I find myself feeling this way only when I compare my wedding/engagement/future plans to those who seem to have it better than me. 

Is it possible for you and your hubby to get away at all? Maybe taking a sweet weekend away from everything else will do you good! If you loved this man enough to marry him, get excited about him all over again. No, life’s not perfect and it never will be. But maybe separating yourself from the pain that is your past wedding experience will be a good choice. 

(( hugs )) I am sorry though! I don’t know if it helped but that’s what I would do in your shoes. Have a heart to heart with my hubby and find out why I’m feeling that way and how to move on to a better life ahead. 

Post # 5
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

*steps up onto her soapbox*

This is what bothers me about this out of control wedding industry… women are made to feel like their wedding/marriage isn’t real unless they have all these super expensive aspects of wedding planning.

Personally, my Fiance did save up for a ring which was nice, but there was no special proposal. I do like special proposals and stuff but just because there’s tv shows dedicated to them doesn’t mean they’re necessary for a happy marriage. What’s right for some couples isn’t right for every couple.

As far as a wedding goes, it’s one day and some people break their bank for it, which is fine if that’s what you WANT, but I feel like once you enter the world of wedding planning, it’s tough to make it out with the change in your pocket. At the end of the day, whether you have a horse drawn carriage and chocolate fountain or not, you’re still married.

And honeymoons – talk to some people you know who have been married for 30+ years, and see how many of them went to Aruba. Most of my family members and friends parents went to a bed and breakfast near a beach for a few days. I think it’s awesome that people DO go to these great places for their honeymoon, and I know that the trip is unforgettable, but again, it’s not right for every couple in every situation. So many people have said to me “That’s ALL you’re doing?” when I tell them our honeymoon plans. Who cares if it’s not enough for them? It’s MY honeymoon!

Who made these laws that you need an insane ring, storybook proposal, wedding that knocks everyone’s socks off and a honeymoon to some exotic location??

I’ve worked with the elderly a loooong time and I love to ask them about their weddings. They all had low key celebrations of their marriage without being over the top, but there stories are still very romantic because they talk about their spouse and how they met the perfect person and had a wonderful life etc.

It sounds like you did what was right for you and your husband at the time, and you have a wonderful husband who loves you. I’m sorry you feel cheated, but please look into your heart and find out WHY you feel this way? Is it because of the pressure to have good stories for people who ask about it? Is it because you want to travel? Plan a trip together! If you want a ring as a symbol of your love for your husband, work on saving up for one. But please don’t let it upset you when people treat you like they’re not impressed enough by your wedding stories.

Disclaimer: If I offended anyone I’m sorry.

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First, big *HUGS* to you!  I can relate to your feelings!

I don’t know what your faith background is, however I found a great resource (and I am sorry if I am sounding like I’m promoting certain things, but I’ve found them helpful) from a website called “Revive Our Hearts.”  I’ve done a couple of their 30 day challenges, which have been really helpful in refocusing.  Maybe the Gratitude or Husband Encouragement Challenges would be helpful for you? 

Also what about using deals thru websites like Groupon to go on a small getaway?

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