(Closed) It's not a poncy wedding!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

I don’t get why she cares that your wedding is posher than hers? Has she compromised for her partner and having a more relaxed wedding than she’d like or is she genuinely being mean for some other reason?

I don’t get a lot of your issues, ie. Same year, a photographer you couldn’t have anyway, your local church that you’re not using. If you don’t trust her, by all means keep your plans private, but I’m not seeing a huge issue here.

I’d try asking her about it, in a nice way, as in “I don’t get why it bothers you that my wedding is fancy? Surely we’re each having weddings to our own taste, and you should be glad you like your wedding best?”

Aside from that I’m afraid I don’t have much advice, sorry.

Post # 4
Member
6339 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Gelabel:  And you say you’re ‘quite close’?

Honestly, she sounds like a bitch, and TBH, I’d probably just cut her loose if I were you.

Post # 5
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Don’t give her the satisfaction – she’s probably jealous that your wedding is elegant and hers is on a budget. Don’t worry about being called poncy, it just means expensive really. As long as you are happy with how the day is turning out that’s all that matters!

I don’t know… arranging her wedding just before yours seems a really crappy thing to do. Vent away!

Post # 6
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Had to google definition of poncey to see if it had negative connotations 

 

OK it said something which is expensive or high quality but I know some people can use it in a way to mean “stuck up” or “snobby”

 

I would spin it and take it as a compliment … thanks im glad my stuff looks high quality. And move on 

Post # 8
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@leecy87:  Thanks for the definition Lol, I’m old school. someone called me a bugie once and I had to look it up Lol. 

Op, when someone copies you it’s a form of flattery, IMO. She probably thinks you have great taste and therefore wants to piggyback off your ideas. keep your ideas under wraps if you don’t want her to know about them. 

Post # 9
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like jealousy to me! I’d take it as a complement if all my DIY projects were being perceived as high class/fancy/etc! It’s your wedding, not hers! Don’t let her get to you.

Post # 10
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

Ah, I totally see, yeah, if she knew it would upset you then it’s pretty mean…

I agree with @SagHarborBride:  it does sound like a bad case of jelousy. Like she was trying to upstage you and now that it doesn’t seem to be working she’s just going for insulting you.

 

Post # 11
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

@Birdi:  I think Poncey is England slang/term. I don’t think it has anything to do with you being old school! (I also have no idea what a bugie is…)

Post # 12
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Honeyblood:  Neither did I LOL! bugie means upper/middle class black folks who forget their roots? Likes nice things etc. I’m not black though…. But the person that said it to me was. 

Post # 13
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

@Birdi:  Huh, that’s such a strange word… That’s extra weird! Would you count yourself as upper/middle class? 

Post # 14
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Honeyblood:  That’s what I thought. I don’t do too bad for myself but I wouldn’t consider myself as upper class. Fiance spoils me maybe that’s what she was referring to IDK. Rude, IMO Though. 

 

Post # 15
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

@Birdi:  Totally rude, I always think it’s the kind of word that stems from jealousy IMO. At least you know to argue with it in future, should anyone ever be as bizzarely rude again! 

Post # 16
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d get some distance between you and her. Keep all wedding details private & don’t give her the opportunity to upset you. Sounds like maybe she’s mad that you’re not fawning over all of her wedding choices – I have a feeling your DIY wedding is going to be more relaxed and fun than hers…maybe she feels the same way! Wink

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